


Killer King

by birdprincess



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Slow Burn, Was supposed to be porn with plot but ended up plot with porn, blind betrayal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-05-22 15:56:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 66,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6085860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdprincess/pseuds/birdprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Female Sole Survivor Stella Austin joined the Brotherhood of Steel with one idea in mind: getting her son back from the Institute. They have an army, surely they can help her.<br/>Arthur Maxson literally falls in love with her. That's basically it. And she's having feelings for him too, but it's a lot to process. Paladin Danse turns out to be, well, distracting, but not for love triangle reasons. </p><p>Mostly blind betrayal stuff + Maxson romance.</p><p>As a whole, this is my take on how Maxson could potentially grow as a person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The dream

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I've been working on this thing, then ranted about it on my blog and I've had several requests to post the whole fic here. So I'M DOING IT!  
> Most chapters are in Stella's POV, except for a few. They're always labelled. Relatively short chapters, just more of them.
> 
> I'm a huge tease and basically intended this to be smut, except it ended up a long ass fic with an actual plot. It mostly follows the events in the game, though, so there's no huge surprises. It really is just to explore the relationship I imagine between f!sosu and Maxson.  
> Please don't be too harsh on me, english is only my second language and I'm doing my best. Anyway. See you.
> 
> **if you're here for the sex (aren't we all) it happens in chapter 10, 12, 15,18, 22. I'll edit this note the more I post lmao **

Stella

 

It didn’t feel right.  
Stella looked up and noticed the sun was high in the sky. Some birds chipped behind her, the grass was soft under her bare feet and the wind messed up her hair a little. But she knew none of this was real. She knew she was in a dream, that she was deeply asleep. She just knew it because the scenery was beautiful—green everywhere around, flowers blooming on the ground, she was wearing a light yellow dress and her hair was clean. But that wasn’t all.

Shaun was there, right before her eyes.

They seemed to be in some sort of playground and Shaun was sitting in the grass, holding a toy car in his tiny hands. Somehow, Stella knew this child was her son even though he was only an infant the last time she’d seen him. The child she was looking at was probably around five, maybe six and he had her blonde hair. He was making car noises with his mouth and his cheeks were pink. He was having a blast. This kid was like, the happiest little guy ever. And he was hers.

But even that, even the sight of grown up Shaun wasn’t what had alerted Stella in her sleep. It wasn’t until she had realized Nate was also there that Stella figured it out. Nate was a bit farther to the left, sometimes watching Shaun as he played, sometimes fixing the fence that surrounded the playground. And even if all of that _looked_ very real (after all, Nate had loved fixing anything, probably because he was a little bored when he wasn’t deployed), Stella just _knew_. And she hated it. She hated herself, her mind.  
Why wasn’t she allowed to dream peacefully? Why couldn’t she be in a happy place, even just for an hour?  
Stella closed her eyes and sighed. Maybe if she calmed down, yes, maybe she could just relax and she would forget she was dreaming.

A scream startled her and her eyelids flew open. It was gone. It was all gone. She wasn’t observing her child as he was playing with a toy car. The trees and the grass were dead, and so was her family. Shaun laid motionless on the ground, the toy car still in his hand. And Nate. Nate was sitting with his back on the fence and he was covered in blood. It was just so red and Stella couldn’t even recognize his face.

And then, finally, she woke up.

 

Stella heard the last second of her own scream and found herself sitting on her bedroll in the dark. She tried to inhale but it seemed no air could reach her lungs. She almost screamed again but she would only moan like an animal for the lack of oxygen cut off her voice as well.  
She had seen Shaun, she had seen her baby. It’d been the first time she had dreamed about him after waking up in Vault 111. And it was all so beautiful at first. Stella wished that she could just... go back to sleep and relive that first part of the dream all over again. With Shaun right there, and Nate _alive_. It had been too long since she had seen him smile and Stella couldn’t remember exactly what his face looked like. Well, she remembered, just not in every details. The way you forget how something looks when you don’t see it every day. And it was so, _so_ unfair. When she was 9, her parents gave her a doll for her birthday. The doll was ballet dancer, just like she had been at the time. But a few months later, the doll had disappeared. And so Stella had slowly forgotten what she looked like. When she found the doll again under her brother’s bed (the dog had probably taken it there), she realized it looked nothing like she remembered. It had been a strange feeling, to find out her memories were so different than reality.  
The exact same thing was happening with Nate’s face.  
She brought her right hand over her left and touched the metal of her wedding ring for a few seconds before she heard footsteps outside the house.

Stella had made her room in what had been her house before the war, in Shaun’s bedroom. Her bedroll was right next to his crib, and she could see what was left of the trees from a hole in the wall. She could also hear the river from here, especially at night when everything was silent. Sometimes it made her sad, sometimes it made her happy. Stella closed her eyes again and tried to steady her breathing, but tonight no sound of water running would help.  
“Soldier,” a voice said. Danse. “Austin. We heard... are you hurt?”  
“No. I’m just...” Stella started, but she didn’t know what to say so she let her voice die somewhere in her throat.  
Stella opened her eyes and looked up. In the darkness, she could barely make out the Paladin. And to see him out of his power armor was a rare occurrence. He was still big though. Danse was standing awkwardly over her, his long arms hanging on either side of him but not doing anything. He looked like he regretted coming over here. It _was_ his first night in Sanctuary, after all. Normally he’d head back to Cambridge or the Prydwen, but their latest assignment wasn’t far from here and they had decided to head back to Sanctuary instead. Stella groaned and shook her head slightly.  
“Was it... a nightmare?” Danse asked, his voice low and barely audible.  
“Yes.” Part of her wanted to explain, to tell him – she trusted Danse. But Stella’s mouth refused to say the words that were in her mind, so she said nothing more.  
She heard him sigh too, and he looked out the window on the other side of the house. From there, you could see most of Sanctuary, or rather, most of what they were actually occupying. Even from here, sitting on the floor, Stella could see some of the lights. They always left lights on at night.

To her surprise, Danse sat down next to her, to a respectful distance from Shaun’s crib. He didn’t meet her gaze but looked rather concerned.

“I’m fine,” Stella lied. “It was just a bad dream.”  
“You screamed.” He looked at her then, with piercing eyes. “Everybody woke up. You were calling your son’s name.” He paused. “Knight, you’ve been acting strange lately.”  
Heat spread on Stella’s face and some of her neck. Maybe before the war it wouldn’t have been such a big deal. But right now, post-war, it was. Even if she trusted every single person in Sanctuary, she didn’t want to look weak in front of them. None of them. They all had put a lot of faith in her and she simply could not fail them. She couldn’t afford screaming and crying at night because of nightmares.  
“It’s okay,” Danse went on. “You’re a warrior.”  
“A warrior doesn’t... cry at night,” Stella muttered. “How would you feel if it were you?”  
Danse didn’t answer that one. Instead, he looked out another window. He could probably see the moon, but Stella could only make out some white light from where she was.  
They didn’t say anything for a long time. Stella was feeling a little better. She was still upset about the dream and the pictures it had put in her head, but Danse’s arrival had somehow appeased her. There was something about him, something she couldn’t name exactly, that made people around him feel like everything would be alright. And he was, after all, her friend.

She must have drifted back to sleep, sitting up, with her head on the wall, because when Danse spoke again she woke up.  
“I still can’t believe they took him you know,” he said sternly. “Your son. And I can’t even begin to imagine how it must feel like. Nobody here can. You’re allowed this one weakness, soldier.”  
She could see the moon now, partially at least. It was big and very bright. It illuminated the whole room with a soft light, making Danse’s face visible again. He looked tired and the brand new bruise he had gotten that afternoon was swollen on this left cheek. He didn’t seem to mind. If she, Stella, was allowed this weakness, her infant son, what was his, Danse, weakness? He didn’t seem to have _any_. He was probably the best fighter she had seen in the wasteland. He wasn’t wasting any bullets. Every single shot he fired was going straight into whatever he had wished it to. Even with dangerously fast ferals. He was strong, and he was fearless.  
“Do you have any weaknesses, Paladin?” The question had escaped her lips before she could stop it. It was out of line. In the Brotherhood, she was a Knight, yes, but Danse was a Paladin and she had no business asking personal stuff. He had the power to make her pay that sort of insubordination.  
But he didn’t.  
Instead, Danse looked at her again.  
“I don’t want to trouble you, not tonight,” he answered. “You deserve some rest. We have to head back to the Prydwen tomorrow.”

Danse shook his head before getting up and leaving the room, and the house. Stella closed her eyes but only found sleep when the sun was rising.

 


	2. Are you well?

Stella

 

The day following the nightmare incident, Stella started to wonder if all of what had happened had been a dream. Like, the Shaun and Nate thing was definitely not real but what about her conversation with Danse?   
She had slept late – of course. And even then she hadn’t been able to get more than three or four hours of sleep. But honestly, this was a common post-war thing. Not sleeping that much. She just wasn’t really used to it yet.   
Danse had been so _soft_ and understanding. And comforting. And that was so strange that Stella seriously doubted herself. It certainly didn’t help that Danse didn’t acknowledge anything in the morning. He acted the way he acted all the time – calling her ‘soldier’, having a pretty constant frown on his face, keeping a stiff voice. He didn’t ask how she was doing today or if she had slept a little. If anything, he was slightly more distant than usual.   
  
Preston, though, had pretended he wanted to talk to her about the garden they had, the one where they had planted mutfruit. She was following him now, listening to him whistling softly. He stopped in front of a mutfruit plant that didn’t grow fruit yet and looked at her.  
“Are you okay, General?,” Preston asked very seriously. “I’m not gonna lie—I’m worried. We all are.”  
“I’m fine.” It wasn’t a lie. As much as she had panicked last night, to the point of not being able to breathe at all, she was feeling much better today. While she was still haunted by the sight of her son dead on the ground, Stella had rationalized the whole thing and was ready to move on. She’d need time, but it’d be okay.   
“I’m fine,” Stella repeated, offering Preston a smile. “I had a nightmare where Shaun was... well, he was dead.” She found it was much easier to talk to him than talking to Danse. “But it wasn’t real, right?”  
“It wasn’t real,” Preston said with a smile. “I’m one hundred percent sure your son is alive, General. And even though I don’t agree with what _they’re_ doing (he gestured towards Danse, who waiting for her a little farther), they can probably help you find him. So you should go now. But don’t forget, Cait asked for gum.”  
“I remember,” Stella said. “I’ll bring her tons of it.” Ever since Cait had been off drugs, she had been feeling a little ill so she was staying in Sanctuary. Everybody took good care of her. Stella had no problem running errands for her.  
  
Stella said goodbye to Preston and headed back towards Danse.  
“Ready to go?” he asked. “We have to report now.”  
“Sure. Let’s go.”  
She wasn’t wearing power armor so she was much quicker than him. He wasn’t slow, but she was swift and he definitely wasn’t. She liked the feeling of her leather boots on the ground. It reminded her that she was alive.   
They walked for about an hour until they decided it was a good spot to call a vertibird. Stella had made it clear to Danse that she didn’t want the Brotherhood too close to Sanctuary. These people needed peace and she wouldn’t have military planes hovering over their heads all the time. Danse had agreed, reluctantly at first.  
  
While they waited, Stella drank some water and shared with him. She wanted to talk. To say something about last night. Nothing embarrassing and nothing out of bounds, but... _something_. She couldn’t find the right words. Every time she thought about a sentence, it turned out to be weird or stupid, so she didn’t dare actually say it. It wasn’t until she heard the sound of the vertibird in the distance that she talked.  
“Thank you,” she said hastily before the vertibird reached them. “For last night.” She wanted to add something more but wasn’t sure what exactly. She hoped it was enough and that he would understand.  
He did, but it only disappointed her.  
“You should concentrate on our objective,” Danse replied, his eyes avoiding hers. “It will keep the nightmares away.” He paused for a few seconds before adding: “And you probably shouldn’t sleep in that room anymore. Next time you’re in Sanctuary, maybe establish your quarters in another house.”  
  
That was about the least comforting thing someone had ever said to her. Stella frowned and held her bag while the vertibird was landing. _I mean, he’s right_ , she thought. Maybe she shouldn’t sleep in Shaun’s room. But did he have to be so cold?  
For a second, just a second, Stella considered waiting the night and ruining his power armor so he wouldn’t be able to wear it for a few days until it was fixed. Maybe he could show some heart if he didn’t have several pounds of steel on his shoulders.  
Stella climbed into the vertibird and sat down. The Initiate there saluted her and she saluted back, only she didn’t remember her name. She was young though and very pretty. And for the whole time they were flying, Stella observed the Initiate while she was intensely looking at Danse. There was very little conversation, just small talk really, and Stella joked about one of her friends wanting gum.  
She saw how women looked at Danse all the time. Even in his armor, he was good looking. But the real show was when he’d get out of it, usually to work on the armor or modifying it and he’d sweat a little. Everybody turned their head to him then, but Danse was oblivious to that. He had no idea what was going on. Didn’t know the effect he had on people. And Stella knew that was why he was so cold most of the time.   
Just now—this whole time the Initiate was trying to get his attention, but Danse was staring at the outside. Not avoiding her. Just oblivious. Stella had never really considered him as anything but her boss or her friend, but it annoyed her when he did that thing where he had no clue he was being a rude ass, cold asshole.   
  
When they approached the Prydwen, Danse stood up and waited while the vertibird was attaching itself to the ship. Then he immediately jumped off on the ship and left while Stella was gathering her bag and saying goodbye to the pilot and the Initiate.   
“Don’t worry,” she offered to the young woman. “Our mission didn’t go as expected. He was probably thinking about how it could have been better. He always does.” She didn’t want the girl to feel ignored. She didn’t like lying, but sometimes lies were better than the truth. Obviously, the assignment had been a success—except for a couple of scratches here and there.  
“Oh,” the girl said. “I’m used to it. Goodbye, Knight.”  
Stella tried to smile as best as she could and got off the vertibird. She walked all the way to the command center. The winds were strong up here and she could feel her hair being pulled everywhere around her head. She usually tried to keep a tidy appearance—as much as the wasteland would allow it – but right now, right now, Stella had to admit _she didn’t give a shit_. She was trying not to think about her son (was he dead? and if not, was he hurt? Was hurt worse than dead?), and her dead husband, and the man with a heart of steel she was traveling with. But all of those things were in her head, loud and impossible to ignore.  
  
Danse was already talking with Maxson when Stella approached. Elder Maxson, as usual, was standing straight with his hands behind his back. He shook his head at something Danse told him then turned to her.  
“Knight,” he said. “Do you have the parts Proctor Ingram asked for?”  
“They’re here, Elder,” Stella responded, showing the bag on her shoulder. “I’ll go to her immediately.”  
She and Danse had been sent to recover parts of a machine in a hospital. Said hospital was now infested with ferals, but they had done their job anyway. Stella didn’t know what Ingram intended to do with the parts exactly, but she was always impressed with what she could make with so little material. She was a genius, really. “Wait,” Maxson said before she could turn around and leave. “Danse will take the bag and go. I need to have a word with you.”  
  
Danse didn’t move right away. After all, he hadn’t received a direct order, and he seemed to be just as surprised as she was. This wasn’t right. Danse was higher ranked than she was and he would normally be the one debriefing with the Elder.  
Seeing that none of them was moving, Maxson gestured Danse to take to bag, which Danse did, still avoiding Stella’s gaze. She heard his heavy footsteps until he was far into the main deck.  
“Knight Austin,” Maxson said right away. “Are you well?”  
What? _Are you well_? Had Danse told him about the nightmare? It was literally just a bad dream. Like, goddamnit. Fuck.   
“I’m good Elder,” Stella replied, trying her best to keep her cool. “Why are you asking?”  
“Because, of course, Paladin Danse told me about what happened to you last night. Adding that you seemed aloof during yesterday’s assignment.” Elder Maxson was tall, much taller than she was, and he looked down on her with such authority that Stella didn’t risk interrupting him. “He worries for you because you have been assigned on the same team. But, Knight, don’t take it personally, I worry for the well-being of the Brotherhood. Can you keep doing what you’re doing, or do you need some time off?” That somehow was much more humiliating than knowing that everyone in Sanctuary had heard her cry and scream. She was just a little older than Maxson, but still—he impressed her. Intimidated her. And she didn’t know why, but it was most likely something in his voice, like he knew he was strong and wanted everybody to know. Everything in him screamed _I can kill you with my hands only_ , _so listen to what I have to say_. He was handsome, the way a villain in a movie is handsome. Or was handsome, because movies didn't exist anymore. Still. Anyway.  
  
Maxson scared her a little, but she couldn’t let such a minor incident fuck up her whole thing here. She was here because she thought the Brotherhood could help her find Shaun. And she wasn’t gonna find him if she took some ‘time off’ or whatever. No.   
“No,” she protested. Her voice had come out louder than expected, but the Elder didn’t move an inch. “I don’t know what Danse told you, but I’m fine.” She thought about what Danse had said, how she was allowed this one thing—have a soft spot for her baby. She didn’t know if she could use this card with Maxson. Because he was definitely the kind of guy who wouldn’t tolerate any soft spot. Or rather, he definitely had soft spots he was just trying really hard to conceal them.  
“I’ve had several reports on you, Knight,” Elder Maxson replied. “Coming in late from missions, being distant. Missing targets when shooting.” He pointed her right arm where her light armor had a large tear in the fabric. It showed a long scratch that still burned, but Stella was ignoring it. “And I’ve seen you get hurt more often,” he added. “You’re taking time off. Four days for a start. And I don’t care if I have to lock you up somewhere. Understood?”  
Stella stared at him, blinking. “No,” she insisted. “That won’t help. I need to keep working. It’s the only way I can stop thinking about him.”  
Maxson didn’t ask who was ‘him’, she knew that he knew she was talking about her son.  
“You’re taking time off,” he said again. “You’ll be staying in Paladin Danse’s quarters. And don’t make me escort you there myself, Knight.” Stella looked into Maxson’s icy blue eyes, deciding whether she was going to spit in his face or not.   
  
“Who do you think you are, kid?” she heard herself blurt out. And she knew saying this was probably even worse than spitting in his face, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t control it, couldn’t control herself. And for half a second, Stella was scared. Not because she had just insulted the leader of a military group, but because she didn’t recognize herself. What was she doing? Where was the soft, understanding woman she used to be? Where was Stella Austin? Had she been lost sometime between waking up in Vault 111 and now?  
But that truly only lasted half of a second. Before Maxson could even react, she went on.  
“I’m done following your shitty ass orders!” she bellowed. “If you can’t trust me, my judgment—just go fuck yourself, Maxson.”  
But he wasn’t even looking at her anymore. His eyes were locked somewhere behind her. That’s when she heard footsteps and someone firmly grabbed her arm.   
“Knight,” a male voice said. “Calm down. Come with us.” But at this point, Stella was just scared they would kill her for what she’d said, so she fought back. She was strong and had no problem getting rid of the Initiate that had been holding her. She kicked the other one in the legs and ran towards the flight deck. She was going to steal a vertibird and just get the fuck away from here. She’d lost her mind for approximately three seconds and there she was. Running away from, possibly, the only people who could have helped her find Shaun. Still, she needed to be alive in order to find him back, so she had to go.  
  
Two strong arms closed around her body, putting an end to her shockingly short escape. Maxson. She tried hitting him in the stomach with her elbow but Maxson didn’t move, just as if she hadn’t hit him at all. He held her for a few seconds before Knight-Captain Cade appeared in the command center, a couple of syringes in his hand. She insulted him and insulted Maxson again. She felt a needle piercing her skin, and it was over. Sleep took over her in just a few seconds.


	3. His duty (or whatever)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's not bow chicka wow wow just yet but it's getting hotter u know ;) ;) i mean there's definitely some dick action going on in this chapter
> 
> thank you to the people who left messages on my blog or kudos etc y'all amazing ok.

Maxson

 

 

That night, Arthur went to bed late. He stripped himself off his clothes, left them on the floor and climbed into his bed. In the darkness, he thought of the all the successful missions that had happened in the past few days. Things were going well for them. Or at least not too bad.  
What was their next move against the Institute—the real enemy? It was one thing to secure their arrival in the Commonwealth and another to actually destroy those bastards.  
Arthur was dozing off and thinking about deploying more soldiers on the ground—to search literally everywhere for any clue that would lead them to the Institute—when Arthur heard crying. Soft cries at first, then sobs. It came from Danse’s quarters.  
Sighing, he sat up, put some trousers on and left his own quarters with no hesitation. As the Elder, he had the obligation to see to his soldiers’ well-being. Tomorrow, Cade would look at Knight Austin and treat her. But Arthur was the one who would talk with her tonight. He did it because it was his duty, and because he deeply cared about his men.  
The main deck was dead silent except for the usual sounds the ship made. No one was here either. But it was pretty late after all. He stopped in front of Danse’s quarters, unsure of _what_ he was going to say exactly. He didn’t like it, but he’d have to improvise.

Arthur used the key Paladin Danse had given to him to open the door and entered.  
The small bedroom was badly lit. Of the candles they had put in the room this afternoon, only one still had a short flame. When she heard him, Austin looked up, her eyes big and scared. She reminded him of a doe he had killed last week. He often went along on hunting missions, mostly because many soldiers were busy working and the Prydwen had more mouths to feed every day. He’d found this lonely doe by a creek and was aiming his gun at it, and it had lifted its head at the exact same time Arthur was taking his shot. The animal probably saw the bullet that killed it.  
And that’s what Stella looked like just now. She was in Danse’s bed—Arthur was pleased to see Cade and the two Initiates who had set up the place had at least changed the sheets and cleaned up a little. Some of Danse’s personal things were missing, probably brought to his temporary quarters by the Paladin himself.  
Arthur closed the door behind him but didn’t go to her right away. Knight Stella Austin was a very beautiful woman. Even now, with her tangled hair and tears running down her face. Arthur wasn’t insensitive to this, but she had also upset him this afternoon. _Who do you think you are, kid?_ she had told him. Who do you think you are. Kid. _Kid_. His thoughts wandered on the very moment he had caught her in his arms before she could run away from him. The way her body had felt against his.  
He had been angry. Of course. And maybe he had put a little more strength than necessary when restraining her. In his arms, her body felt so small and breakable. But he’d been angry and it was only when she’d been deeply asleep, when Cade had called his name that Arthur had regained his composure. He had been the one to take her here though, often looking down to see her face. She didn’t look quite as impressive when she was unconscious. And, if he was being honest with himself, he preferred her when she was asleep than throwing a tantrum.

“Are you going to kill me?” Austin asked. He barely heard her. Her voice was shaking. She grabbed the sheets that covered her body and held them tight.  
“No,” Arthur replied. “I—Austin—no.”  
There was a long silence. Stella sniffed a few times and sat up. The sheets fell down a little, revealing more skin than Arthur had expected. It appeared she was fully naked under the sheets. Austin was holding them over her breasts though, but not paying much attention to that—he tried to stop his imagination from running, however it was already too late. Her legs were showing too, plump but strong, and pleasant to look at. Arthur breathed deeply. It’d been a while since he had seen a naked woman, but he couldn’t let that distract him from more important things.  
Arthur made his way to the desk where he pulled a chair and set it next to the bed. He sat down.  
“I thought you were going to kill me,” Austin whispered. “I deserve punishment. Kind of. I don’t know. I’m sorry. Elder. I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you. I was... I don’t know. I don’t know what happened.”  
“Was that how they treated soldiers before the war? _Death_? Treatment. You deserve some medical treatment, not punishment,” Arthur said. “I gotta say, I’ve heard interesting stories told on the ship tonight. People’s favorite part is when you told me to go fuck myself. The one that stuck with me, though, is you calling me _kid_.”  
Stella buried her face in her small hands and Arthur waited for her to look at him again. Even with so little lighting, he could see the red on her cheeks.  
“I fucked up,” she generously admitted. “I panicked too because...”  
“You didn’t want Danse to tell me anything,” Arthur finished for her. “I know. He only told me so much, though. Do you have anything to add, Knight?”  
She didn’t have to, but Arthur wanted her to talk to him. She was a good soldier and a great example for the Initiates around the ship. And she straight up didn’t deserve what had happened to her. It wasn’t surprising, not to him and not to anyone, that she had finally yelled a little and lost her shit. Danse had told him he sensed something coming, something like that, or worse. Austin was getting more and more reckless during assignments, yet she was losing her shooting skills. Sooner than later, Danse had said, he would bring her corpse back to the vessel for Knight-Captain Cade to confirm her death and fill the forms. And that had been a huge wake-up call for Arthur. Except he hadn’t been able to fully protect the Knight from herself.  
“I was pissed at him,” she said. “Because, for once he’d been like, really nice to me. You know. Visiting me at night and comforting me.” She laughed a little, but there was no actual fun in that laugh. “Kind of like you right now, I guess,” she went on. And the next day he acted like... nothing. Like we hadn’t bonded over that. I hated it. And then he went to you instead. It pissed me off. Just like I’m gonna be pissed off when you wake up tomorrow and act like we never had the conversation we’re having. Don’t take it personal, but everybody here is just so cold, so unfriendly.”  
Arthur opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off. “Don’t say anything, Elder,” Stella added. “ _You_ have a reputation to keep. I guess, I just, Danse does too, but I had been hoping he was gonna be my friend instead of my supervisor for once.”  
He almost asked her _and what are you hoping I do about this tomorrow_? but stopped himself in time. She had no word to say about this. But she wasn’t a fool, she knew he had a facade to maintain and wasn’t expecting anything else from him. Didn’t mean, of course, she wasn’t going to be disappointed. He was well aware of that.

“You keep resting,” Arthur ordered instead. “I’m gonna lock the door, though.”  
“Yeah, sure,” Stella sighed. “Make me your prisoner. Do what you gotta do. I’m used to being locked up. They left me in that cryo pod for over two hundred years. Ad Victoriam, Elder.

Cade had said Austin needed a few days, maybe a week of full rest and then she’d probably get back to a normal mental state. _I sure as hell hope Cade is right_ , Arthur told himself as he locked the door to Danse’s quarters behind him. _Because I need my most promising Knight back_. He couldn’t help feeling impressed with Austin’s sarcasm. No one, literally no one was ever brave enough to snap back at him.  
The loss of her child was the cause of her mental breakdown, there was no doubt about it. But Austin had seemed very concerned about Danse being distant with her. Why? Why did she bother so much? Was she... did she have...  
It was very possible that she was upset because she wanted Danse to care. Because she liked him, plain and simple. The same way other women tried flirting with Danse anytime he was sitting down for a drink.

Arthur thought about her legs and felt anger rising in his stomach. And something else, too, a few inches down. But he couldn’t—this wasn’t right. Except his pants suddenly felt much tighter and he had no control over that. He walked back to his quarters where he took off his clothes again and lied down in his bed. He didn’t pull the covers over him immediately. Instead, he tentatively reached a hand down. He wasn’t rock hard—yet—but he felt his hunger growing with his erection every time he thought about Austin. He took the head of his cock between his thumb and his index finger and shivered at his own touch. He exhaled, biting his lip, as unsure about this as he was craving it. He moved his hand up and down his shaft, suppressing a moan he knew Austin would be able to hear on the other side of the wall. Thinking about her made things worse: the fresh memory of her soft skin, her large breasts partially covered with a thin white sheet. Shit, fuck fuck, _fuck_. Moving his wrist more aggressively, Arthur tightened his grip, his hips thrusting to match his strokes. He was hard now, very hard, and part of him wanted to just get up, storm into the room he’d just left and fuck her—Stella. He remembered the way she had said “make me your prisoner” and it sent him in ecstasy. He closed his eyes and saw her, naked in his own bed, her wrists strapped to the frame, calling his name, begging him to fuck her throat.  
A moan he couldn’t control escaped his mouth as Arthur sped up until it was finally over. In the light that filtered from the crack under his door, he looked down to watch himself come all over his hand and stomach.  
He remained still for several seconds before wiping the mess he’d made with a piece of cloth then lying down again.  
How was he ever going to be able to look at Austin in the eyes again?


	4. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> still angst always angst

Stella

 

 

Knight-Captain Cade was back by what she assumed was morning. People were wishing each other a nice day on the other side of the door and they all seemed in a hurry. So, definitely morning. 

He brought breakfast with him. Eggs and brahmin steak with an infusion of herbs and flowers that was surprisingly tasty. He stayed with her while Stella ate, asking questions about how she felt. She didn’t see a reason to fight anymore. She’d just let the Brotherhood think they were helping her and then she’d get back to her business. She said she was bored and didn’t know what she was going to do, locked up in here for so long. Cade shook his head and then gave her a pill to swallow.  
“What is that?” she asked. “I’m not taking this.”  
“This is something I’ve been working on for a while, it is part of a ten day treatment,” Cade explained. “This is just meant to calm you down.”  
“I’m very calm.”  
“On the long term,” Cade rectified. “This should eliminate or reduce feelings of anxiety and helplessness. You had your first dose yesterday while you were unconscious. You have to take it. I have orders. I don’t want to have to call people to restrain you while I push this down your throat.”  
Stella looked at the pill. It didn’t have the polished and clean look of pre-war pills. It was rough and big and had many colors in it. Many different ingredients turned to powder and put back together.  
He had orders. She knew Cade well enough to know the words _restrain you while I push this down your throat_ didn’t come from his head. That was, however, very Maxson-like.  
She took the pill anyway and swallowed it as quickly as possible with a large gulp of tea. It had a bitter taste, kind of reminded her of bad wine.  
  
Cade left the room and Stella lied down on the bed. She had to admit it was comfortable in here. She _did_ feel way better than yesterday and wondered if it had anything to do with Cade’s drug. She was probably being their lab rat and testing out this medicine just now. If she made it out alive, she’d punch Maxson. She was super chill about it, but she still wanted to punch him in the face. She thought about him, debriefing like he did every mornings with Kells and other Knights and Danse, and _not her_. It was humiliating—the way they had made a big deal out of a small incident.  
Time passed. She was dozing off a few seconds or minutes until a knock on the door startled her.  
“Austin?” Danse asked. “May I come in?”  
“Sure,” she said.  
He unlocked the door and entered the room. He was out of his power armor, but immediately explained he had Ingram working on it as they spoke. He sat down on the chair Cade had sat on, and Maxson before him. They didn’t speak at first, he was looking at his desk, and she was sipping what was left of her tea. It was cold by now, but still good.  
  
“How are you doing, Austin?” he asked without looking at her.  
That’s it! That’s all she’d wanted. For him to ask that very simple question. Because she felt so _alone_ here. And she was lucky to have many friends but... well, it was normal to feel alone anyway, right? She wasn’t being selfish? Maybe she were. But every second she felt the pain of being away from Shaun and it was messing with her mind. She thought of the pill she had been ordered to swallow. Would that help? Probably not, if she was being realistic. The only thing that would actually help was finding Shaun.  
  
“I’m... better,” she said anyway. She wasn’t really lying.  
Danse nodded. She put her empty mug on the desk and got up. She walked a few steps—she’d been sitting or lying down for too long now. Danse looked at her while she stretched her back.  
“I’ve been assigned with Initiate Miller,” he blurted out. “On an outpost not far from the Glowing Sea.”  
Stella stopped stretching and looked at Danse. He always had a serious expression on his face, but, right now, he looked saddened. He didn’t agree with that assignment. Neither did she.  
They were a good team. Hell, the best goddamn team on this ship.  
“I’ve been ordered to train her,” Danse continued.  
Miller. Stella remembered now. It was the name of the nice young girl that had been on the vertibird with them yesterday. _Of course_ , she muttered to herself.  
“Honestly, Austin, I’m not too happy about that.” He got up, too. He was tall and she had to lift her head to look at him. “I... I liked working with you.” He paused, for a long time. “And I wanted to help you find your son.”  
  
She shook her head, looking down, unable to speak a word. She hoped that they would be on the same team when she’d get out of this room, but somehow she knew they wouldn’t. Because it was all Maxson. She had insulted him, and while he had been very polite during his short visit last night, that was the price she had to pay for her noncompliance. All that stuff about how she didn’t deserve punishment, only medical treatment—it was all bullshit. He was just trying to fool her.  
Danse reached for her with his big arms and embraced her. Surprised at first, Stella didn’t know what to do, but eventually she hugged him back. He smelled like steel and fresh air at once. She felt her breathing slow down. She closed her eyes because she was about to cry and she didn’t want to. She just felt so overwhelmed. By everything and everyone. When she tried to make sense of anything, her brain just shut down. And things like yesterday’s breakdown happened. _Nothing_ made sense anymore. She’d been taken from her life, and while she’d been busy at work and insecure about her son, at least she had something to be happy about. Real happiness. But now? She had nothing. Everything was just... gone. Even her teamwork with Danse. The one thing that still made her smile sometimes.  
Danse had lowered his head and she was nesting hers in his neck. She was suddenly aware of her lips brushing against his skin and almost jumped back, except he was holding her and she couldn’t move.  
  
The door flew open and Maxson appeared in the frame. He hadn’t been smiling because he never really smiled, but he frowned at the sight of them so close to each other. Obviously, that kind of bond was, while not forbidden, strongly discouraged in the Brotherhood. Danse let her go and they both stared at the man who was their commander.  
“Paladin Danse,” Maxson said slowly. “I was expecting you to be on a vertibird by now, with your new team mate. Miller is waiting for you.”  
“I needed something from here,” Danse lied, and he _never_ lied. “And... I wanted to say goodbye to Austin.”  
“Is it done? It’s time to go,” Maxson insisted. “And, Austin, there’s something for you down to the airport. Cade assured me it was best for you to go out for an hour or so each day. Ingram will go with you. She’ll be here in a few minutes.”  
  
Since Maxson wasn’t leaving, Danse made the first move and walked towards the door. He had another sorry look for Stella, and the door closed behind him. She thought of Nate, and how he sometimes disagreed with orders he was given. And how he followed them anyway, but wished he didn’t. He often hated himself because of that. And he kept telling her to never let herself get in a situation where she has to do things if she doesn’t want to.  
Stella was doing that exact thing. She figured she could easily get out of here. Yeah, sure, the door was locked, but she was strong enough to get through it if she wanted to. What would Nate think? Knowing she was making the same mistakes as him? Would he understand if it was all for the sake of their son? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> especially short chapter i know!! goddamnit i know i'm sorry <3


	5. Stitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which stella and maxson bond over bourbon and medical stuff. too bad there's a literal wall between them.

Stella

 

 

Proctor Ingram was actually really cheerful. It didn’t feel as if Stella was escorted to the airport, it just felt as if they were going out for a walk together. Minus the stares and whispers that followed her everywhere, of course. She noticed that while most of them were disapproving, some were impressed. A woman winked at her. Maxson definitely deserved to be put in his place once in a while. 

She suppressed the smile her lips were forming, but the truth was that she was relieved to get out of the tiny bedroom, even for just an hour.  
  
A knight in a full suit of power armor was waiting for them. He didn’t speak except when he saluted Ingram but followed them from a distance.  
Stella heard a bark and looked around. She didn’t know they kept dogs here, maybe a lost animal had found its way here, or—Dogmeat?  
Dogmeat ran to her and licked her hands as she tried to pet his big dog head. She was smiling profusely and looked at Ingram who was laughing at how excited the dog was.  
“Elder Maxson had a vertibird sent to your home,” she said. “I guess he overheard you had a dog or something. Anyway, there he is. He’ll stay with you while you recover.”  
Maxson had sent people to get Dogmeat for her? That didn’t make any sense, especially after sending Danse with another team. After taking him away from her.  
  
A few Initiates were approaching to see the dog, and for a whole hour they all played fetch with him and rubbed his belly and everything. But soon, too soon, her time out was up, and the Knight guarding her called Stella’s name. Dogmeat followed her and Ingram into the vertibird and barked the whole way up to the Prydwen. He acted cute to everybody on the ship, and Stella noticed she was considerably more laid back now that the attention was on Dogmeat instead of herself.  
She welcomed the silence of Danse’s quarters. Someone had put a bowl with meat in it for the dog, and another one with water. Stella sat on the bed, kicked her boots off her feet and took some time to think while Dogmeat was loudly drinking water.  
Maybe it wasn’t that important, but she wanted to know why Maxson was doing what he was doing. Okay, okay—she’d been insolent and all that shit, and he wanted to show her who was in command here. So he’d sent Danse away with another less experimented soldier to take her place. Alright. It was a shitty move to punish both her _and_ Danse, but still, it made sense. Kind of. But the same day, the very same day, he brings her dog here. For what? So she’s happier?  
  
She thought about the locked door and sighed. The only explanation she had was that Maxson was doing what he thought was best for her mental health or something. But he was wrong. Yeah, sometimes she was pissed at Danse, but she also trusted him with her life. And he trusted her with his. After, all, she’d saved him many times and vice versa. They were great together. The only problem was his lack of communication but they were working on that. Well, _had been_ working on that.  
  
The next days passed in a blur. It became more difficult to keep track of time. She was allowed to be out for an hour every afternoon, and once in a while an Initiate or Ingram would come by to get Dogmeat out or give him food and water. Sometimes, he came back with Proctor Quinlan’s cat, Rosie, and they all slept bundled together on the bed. Those were the moments she liked the most and felt the best.  
Except on the night of the fourth day—Dogmeat was in the airport with Ingram. They’d become great friends and Stella had figured it might do him some good to spend the night outside of this tiny room. So Proctor Ingram had gladly taken the dog with her. It meant Rosie was also not here, and Stella had to admit she felt a little lonely.  
  
First thing she tried to do that night was lockpicking the door, but it turned out to be impossible from the inside. She wasn’t too bad at lockpicking, but this particular lock was out of her league. She just wanted to walk a little on the ship, nothing more. But, anyway.  
So she cleaned the room a little. It’d been extremely tidy on her arrival here and she intended to return Danse his quarters the way he had left them. She left a pile of trash and dirty clothes next to the door. The person who would come here for her breakfast could just take it away. Someone knocked on the door while she was putting on her pyjamas—well, shorts and a tank top, all in the Brotherhood colors. She waited for the lock to make some noise then the door to open, but nothing.  
“You know I can’t open the door, right?” she said. “Like, I’m locked up in here. Nice to knock, but you have to do the work.”  
“I was being polite, Knight,” Maxson’s voice replied from the other side of the door. “May I come in, Knight?”  
“Just wait a second, Elder, I’m putting on some clothes.”  
She pulled the shorts up and almost fell over because she was hurrying. She was excited now—she expected Maxson was here to release her.  
“It’s alright now,” she told him.  
  
He unlocked the door and entered the room, slowly closing the door behind him. He looked around and took a seat on the metallic chair her visitors were using. She sat down on the bed in front of him.  
Maxson cleared his throat and stared at her. He looked at her legs for a few seconds, but then his eyes locked on her arm, the one that had been wounded on her last mission. She looked at it, too, and saw red spots of blood all over the white cloth Knight-Captain Cade had put over it.  
“Dogmeat,” she muttered for herself. A little earlier, just before he left, the dog had tried to jump on her shoulders because she’d been holding Rosie. “It’s alright,” she said out loud. “It’s better.”  
Maxson shook his head and immediately stood up. “Come with me, Austin.” Seeing she wasn’t moving, he raised his voice. “This is a direct order. And put some shoes on.”  
She stood too and followed him in the ship after slipping into her boots again. It soon appeared he was leading her to the medical bay, where he ordered her to sit down while he was sanitizing his hands and gathering material.  
“What are you doing, Elder?” she asked in her most polite voice.  
“Your arm needs attention,” he said. “But it’s nothing worth waking Cade, so if you don’t mind, I’ll see to it.”  
He removed his coat and turned to her. His arms were big and his hands were looked huge—she wondered how he could fix her without hurting her.  
But it was with a lot of softness that Maxson removed the stained cloth on her arm. They both looked at the wound. The bottom four stitches Cade had performed on it were open and some blood was leaking. Nothing serious, but she cringed at the view.  
“No offense, but...” she started seeing Maxson preparing his needle. “Shouldn’t Cade be doing this? It can wait in the morning.”  
“I’ve stitched my own wounds several times on the battlefield,” Maxson said. “I got you, Austin.”  
She noticed a bottle of bourbon on the desk next to her, so she grabbed it and drank six or seven long gulps of it before stopping for some air. She hated stitches. She’d been hurt alright since waking up in Vault 111, but she still couldn’t control her fear of stitches.  
Maxson took her arm in his hand. His skin was warm and rough, and his grip was tight: she couldn’t move even if she’d wanted to.  
Her face became hot, but she didn’t know if it was the bourbon or Maxson.  
She liked it. That he was touching her.  
She closed her eyes and felt the needle pierce her already sensitive skin. She jumped, but he kept her arm in place. She bit her lip and suppressed a painful whimper. She wouldn’t look like a baby, not in front of Elder Maxson. She had to show him she was strong. Because, ultimately, she needed the Brotherhood to spend more time and men on finding Shaun. And for that, she needed Maxson to trust her.  
“It’s okay,” he whispered, and she’d never heard so much compassion in his voice. “Just one more minute.”  
She opened her eyes and looked at him. He didn’t seem to notice at all because he was so into the work he was doing. But, Stella was seeing a totally different man than the one who gave orders all around the Prydwen and the one they called ‘Elder’. Just now, Maxson was human. He held his face close to her arm—to her breast—and paid a lot of attention to not hurting her.  
In fact, the whole process was less painful than Cade’s stitches had been. Or maybe it was the bourbon. She was trying to think of a word to describe the way he looked right now, and nothing but _attractive_ came into her mind.  
“I’m done,” he announced and put the needle away. “Let me just clean this up.”  
Using some antiseptic and water, he washed away the blood and wrapped up her arm in clean cloths, making sure it would hold on. When he was done, he washed his hands and took the bourbon bottle and drank from it just as she had.  
“Let’s go outside,” he said.  
“Is that a direct order?” Stella asked.  
Maxson frowned.  
“It’s an offer, Austin,” he replied. “You can come with me outside, or I can escort you back to your room. So?”  
“So it’s an order,” Stella said. “Alright, Elder. Can I at least go back and get some clothes to put on?”  
“Just take this.”  
He handed his coat to her while drinking some more bourbon. She tried to look into his eyes but he avoided her stare. Stella just wanted to know what the hell was going on.  
She still put the coat on and they left for the flight deck where Knights on watch saluted them both. Maxson steered the vertibird himself down to the airport.  
The night was fresh and breezy, and they walked in silence for one or two minutes. Stella thought of Nate and the way Maxson’s skin had felt against hers. His voice, and how he kept looking at her legs and looking away immediately.  
It was wrong, it was all wrong. Right?  
“Soldier,” Maxson said in his Elder voice. “Do you feel ready to come back? Are you still... depressed?”  
Stella stopped, but because her footsteps were silent, it took Maxson a few seconds before realizing she wasn’t following him anymore. He came back and stared down at her. In the distance, the airport was giving them just enough light to see each other.  
“Austin?”  
“Am I still depressed? What the hell kind of question is that?”  
Maxson appeared angry. “Knight,” he started.  
“Of course I’m still depressed!” Stella cut him off. She wasn’t yelling or anything, but she still tried to calm down before it escalated. “They took my son! And I will be depressed until I find him! And if the Brotherhood can’t understand that, and take me the way I am, maybe, Elder, it’s best for us to part ways.”  
Stella didn’t mean that. Or maybe she did. She didn’t know anymore. All she knew was, she was tired of that. Tired of being medicated and looked at as if she was crazy. Nobody here could even begin to understand what she was going through. Perhaps she had been wrong to come here in the first place. She didn’t regret helping Danse and his squad back at Cambridge, but it was a mistake to come all the way here and join the Brotherhood.  
She took a deep breath and waited for Maxson to say something. And when he did speak, it was to say something harshly different from what she’d been expecting.  
“I’m... sorry,” he told her with that human, not so commanding voice she was just discovering in him tonight. “Of course.”  
He turned to the water and looked at the tiny waves, as she did. She was drunk. She was really tipsy and this coat smelled of Maxson, and she had to keep looking at the waves because when she closed her eyes, she saw him, Maxson, taking her face in his big hands and kissing her hard. She took off the coat and gave it back to him and watched him put it back on.  
It was wrong and she had to go back to her room.  
“I don’t know what kind of pain you’re going through,” he offered. “But I know it would be a great loss to the Brotherhood if you were to walk away tonight. I understand what you’re saying, though. I feel foolish for not seeing it earlier.”  
“Thank fucking God,” Stella blurted out, hearing the bourbon in her voice.  
“However—and this is the most important part—I need you to be safe. As in, not running into a pack of twenty ferals and risking your life. Not throwing yourself right into danger’s arms. You’re better than that. Promise me, Knight. And you’re free.”  
Maxson seemed like he was going to say something else but he didn’t. It was cold down here and Stella crossed her arms on her chest to keep some of her warmth. Her nipples were hard under the thin fabric of her top. Maxson knew it. She could see him look at them. “I promise,” she said. “What, now?”  
“I suggest you go back up and get some sleep. We’ll see which assignments we have for you tomorrow. Dismissed.”  
She almost thanked him but decided not to. Instead, she wished him goodnight and walked back to the vertibird, then Danse’s quarters.  
  
Kicking off her boots for the second time that night, Stella let herself fall into bed and pondered over what had happened. She had locked the door from the inside and she had to admit it was an amazing feeling. It felt safe. And she was going back to work tomorrow morning.  
Stella fell asleep almost immediately, only to be awaken about thirty minutes later, according to her pip-boy. It was dark in here and she was confused at first. But then she figured out what had been the noise that had startled her.  
Maxson’s quarters were just on the other side of the wall. And from there, she heard a long, deep moan, then another one. Maxson’s voice was filled with hunger, with delight. Stella felt a knot between her legs, and warmth spreading down her thighs. She closed her eyes, trying to get back to sleep, but she only had one question in mind: who was he with? And to find out, she had to listen more closely. So she did. Stella hated herself for doing that but she put her ear against the wall and listened. She heard wet sounds of flesh against flesh, and Maxson moaned again, but she could only hear one person breathing. So he wasn’t fucking anybody, he was just exercising his wrist a little. And it appeared to be extremely fun.  
  
Stella was suddenly aware of the wetness in her shorts. She hadn’t really thought about sex since Vault 111. So that meant she hadn’t thought about sex for a long, long time.  
What was Maxson thinking about? Could he be thinking about her naked legs, her nipples hardening in the cold wind? The thought of that sent an electrical shock down Stella’s spine. She closed her eyes, listening to Maxson’s panting, suppressing her own breathing so she could hear him better. But she really didn’t want to think about his hand sliding up and down on his hard cock, no, even though she’d seen him in tight armor and she _knew_ he was big.  
Fuck.  
Stella took off her top and guided her own hand between her legs and caressed her clit through her wet shorts. Oh God. She had missed that. Her other hand was all over her soft, large breasts.  
On the other side of the wall, Maxson sounded like he was close to being done, so Stella took off her shorts and slid two fingers in her wet opening. She fingered herself slowly at first, rediscovering the feeling of herself. But when she heard Maxson’s orgasm —a series of grunts, moans, sighs and wet sounds—Stella became more serious about it. She finger fucked herself the hardest she could while her other hand left her breasts to play with her clit in circular motions. It was so wet and it was so good and she was still drunk and part of her wanted Maxson to know what she was doing. She kept her mouth shut though, too shy. Instead, she added a third finger, and it didn’t take long until she felt a spasm in her pussy, her thoughts wandering on the memory of the outline of Maxson’s cock in his armor.  
She guided her fingers as deep as she could inside herself, reached the one spot she liked the most, and triggered her own orgasm. Her juices, sticky and lukewarm, flooded her hand and ran down her thighs and ass.  
She licked a finger, tasting her own sweetness, and fell asleep once more, satisfied. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still thank you to anyone who's reading this mess, i appreciate it. heart u


	6. Not a lawyer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stella hates one of her coworkers  
> but is mostly busy thinking about how hawt maxson is

 

Stella

 

 

The next day, Stella had to remain on the Prydwen to do some minor fixes with Ingram. The day after that, Dogmeat was sent back to Sanctuary, and Stella worked down in the airport on inventory duty. But the third day after finally getting out of that tiny bedroom, she went back at shooting practice.  
She was feeling much better now. Her arm still hurt somehow, but it was nothing she couldn’t deal with. She was actually proud of her performance, and it didn’t take long until Cade permitted her to get back to work.  
So a week or so after that, Stella entered the command center early. She was alone there and sat on a couch waiting for everybody else. Kells was usually the first one to arrive at meetings, so she was surprised to see Maxson enter. She looked down, hiding her flushed face until the redness would fade away. She remembered too well the way she’d been aroused by him. She could stand a large wound no problem, but she couldn’t deal with that awkward situation. At least, Maxson had no idea.  
“Elder,” she said.  
“Knight Austin,” Maxson replied. “Glad to see you back in here. How’s the arm?”  
“Stitches are holding on. Knight-Captain Cade told me he’d take them out tomorrow. He said you had done a very decent job.”  
“Very decent? What? I’ve done a great job.”  
Stella finally looked at him and laughed. She was still feeling warm in the face, and sort of uneasy. After all, she’d heard him... well... and she had... Goddamnit, it was straight up awful. It was the first time they were talking ever since, too. Except for formal salutations when they’d crossed each other on the ship.

What Stella had been thinking about the most, and what actually hurt, was, well, it was Nate. She felt like she’d betrayed him. She kept looking down at her own hands—hands she had used to pleasure herself—and look at her wedding ring. She had buried Nate with his, near the river at Sanctuary. But. The thing with Maxson. It felt like cheating. It just, it just did. And that feeling alone was actually worse than having drunken fantasies about your boss jerking off.

She was thankful Captain Kells entered the deck at that very moment, followed by Cade, Ingram and Quinlan, and finally Knight Jones. Normally, Danse would be here, and herself as well along with other people occasionally. But she looked at them, those people, and Stella wondered how she was sitting here right now. Nothing in her life made sense anymore. She still had those moments where she couldn’t believe she had gone from a lawyer to whatever _this_ was.  
She didn’t know Jones’ first name, but he was tall and mean, and she didn’t like him. He had small eyes and they were dark, and he almost never smiled, but not in the same way Maxson never smiled. She didn’t trust Jones, and he didn’t trust her. But if he was in today’s council, Stella figured Maxson would put them in a team together. And if he did, Stella would have to reject that decision. She was pretty sure Proctor Ingram would side with her, if it ever came to that. Fun times ahead.

“Good morning,” Maxson said after clearing his voice. “As you’ve probably noticed, Austin is back at the debriefing table and I am sure you’re all as relieved as I am.”  
Everybody gave her a warm welcome, except for Jones who stared at her silently. God, she hated him.  
“Captain Kells?” Maxson continued. “Anything new?”  
“The usual,” Kells replied. “We’ve located a group of Super Mutants, heavily armed and with good defense. They’re north west of here. There’s also a lot of raider activity around, they’re closing in on us. They’re a small group though, nothing to worry about. It won’t be difficult to erase them. ”  
“Hm. Alright. Austin, you’ll lead the attack on those mutants. Jones, you deal with the raiders,” the Elder announced.  
She’d _lead_ the attack? That was a first. Danse had been the one leading their missions. She knew what she had to do, but it didn’t feel right, not without him. Besides, who would she go with? Random Knights picked by Maxson? Who were basically strangers to her?  
Stella was about to ask about that, about Danse and everything, when Jones raised his voice.  
“Elder?” he said aggressively, pushing his dirty brown hair away from his face. “Far from me to challenge your decisions, but for the good of our organization I feel like I must point out that Knight Austin has barely recovered from a severe breakdown. The wound she has on the arm isn’t even a concern. It’s her... episode that’s worrying. Maybe she shouldn’t be the one to go after a group of Super Mutants. I don’t think she should be trusted.”

Maxson sighed deeply. Ingram’s eyes met Stella’s, and they both stared at each other with a mix of surprise and horror. It was a rough time for Maxson—two of his best Knights challenging his decisions in so little time. Except Stella somehow knew that even if she’d yelled, she had good reasons to do so, and obviously Maxson hadn’t really been mad at her. But this morning, his face was angry, and she thought she heard him growl like a dog.

“Jones,” Elder Maxson started. “Are you saying I’ve miscalculated the situation with my Knight? Do you really think I would send her out there if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure she could do it? Because in spite of what you said, it does sound like you’re challenging my decisions.”  
“I’m saying, Elder, we can have good guesses on somebody’s physical health, but mental health is a whole other thing,” Jones replied with confidence. “Austin has all the reasons in the world to be losing it, doesn’t she? I’m not blaming her. I’m not blaming you either, Elder. But playing with her dog for a week and cleaning up gun parts won’t heal her. Nothing will. I don’t trust her.”  
“Fuck you,” Stella blurted out before Maxson could even speak. “Seriously, Jones. I could beat you up right now. I’m gonna take your dick and shove it high up your ugly ass and make you suck it backwards.”  
  
In the silence that followed, Stella heard a faint chuckle—Ingram. Stella didn’t take her eyes off Jones, whose face was crimson. But not with unease—with anger.  
“You just try that, Austin,” he threatened. “You just try. I’ll send you back to the med bay where the Elder can stitch your face after I break you.”  
“That’s enough!” Maxson barked. “Jones, you get the hell out of here. To your quarters for the rest of the day. And if I hear one more thing from you, you’ll be banned from this ship and from the Brotherhood. Am I clear?”  
  
As Jones was furiously leaving the room, Stella wondered how he had come to know Maxson had helped with her stitches. Because he had made an allusion to that and it was not a coincidence. Had Cade talked about it? It seemed unlikely, but it was probably not impossible. Or maybe Jones had overheard her conversation with Maxson that very night. That possibility sent chills down Stella’s limbs. What if he had heard... everything else?  
Immediately after Jones had departed, a Knight entered the room, out of breath.  
“Elder,” he said. “We just got word from Paladin Danse. He’s asking for reinforcement. He was also trying to tell us something, but the radio signal cut off.”  
Stella found Maxson’s eyes. For the first time ever, she saw traces of fear in him.  
“You come with me,” he told her. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	7. Kellogg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ppl shooting guns   
> maxson being all like wow stella i actually care abt u   
> kellogg is an ass   
> etc

 

Stella

 

 

The vertibird was flying faster than they usually allowed it, so Stella was holding on to her laser rifle and her seat. She could still make out the conversation the pilot and co-pilot were having, and it was mostly about _what the hell was going on with Danse’s team_. Danse... was never in that kind of trouble. Of course, he’d needed some help clearing out the area around the Cambridge police station, but at least he’d been able to keep his radio signal up.   
But now it was very, very different. He hadn’t just asked for some help, he’d asked for a lot of reinforcment. Before the signal was cut off, he’d apparently said they needed to send two or three full teams there, with as many vertibirds and more if they could.   
Stella’s fingers tightened around her rifle—the one Danse had given her—and she breathed deeply. Maybe it wasn’t that bad.   
As they were approaching the Glowing Sea, a place where Stella had never set foot before, she heard weapons firing. God, maybe it was bad. It was probably bad.   
She looked behind her to see Maxson deep in his own thoughts. He was staring at his boots, still and silent. Around him, the other Knights and Sergeants were passing a box of radiation medicine and Stella took some, just in case. Danse hadn’t been stationed in the Sea, just on its borders, but they took precaution anyway.   
Seeing nobody seemed eager to bother Maxson, she carefully got up, grabbed a handle on the ceiling to keep her balance, and made her way to him trying not to step and anybody’s feet.   
“Elder,” she said. “Take some.”   
He looked at her but didn’t move, so she took two pills and put them against his tightly shut lips. He parted them and she pushed the medicine into his mouth. For a second, she felt his tongue on her fingers, wet and warm, but she quickly backed off and sat down as the pilot was announcing their arrival. She looked outside.   
  
Stella couldn’t see Danse, but she could see tons of people shooting each other on the ground. Two Sergeants in power armor jumped off the vertibird while she was stretching her fingers and aiming her rifle.   
Synths. Everywhere. They were surrounding Danse and his team. And there were corpses on the ground.   
Maxson stationed himself to her left.   
“You shouldn’t be here,” she told him. “The Institute most likely wants you dead, so it’s probably a trap. Go back. We got this.”   
The Elder lifted his gun and shot a couple synths from a distance. “I sent Danse there, Knight. For the wrong reasons.” He looked at her, sorrow showing all over his face. “I have to fix this. Besides, what’s worth a leader who can’t fight with his brothers and sisters?”   
Stella couldn’t argue with that, so she kneeled down and engaged combat.   
It lasted for a while until they all realized more synths were coming—but from where? One minute they weren’t there and the next they just appeared. Like, out of nowhere.   
Their vertibird was taking heavy damage. Panicking, the pilot declared they had to land. _Now_.   
  
As they were descending, a shot caught Stella in the leg. She looked down to see the laser had burned her skin deep. Those weapons used by the synths were brutal.   
She was looking at Danse now, and Danse was looking at her, and Maxson. She was close enough to see that Miller, the young Initiate, was one of the corpses and she felt a wave of rage rising in her body. She was about to jump off the vertibird even if it wasn’t touching the ground just now when Stella also saw _him_.   
  
Balding, with an armored leather jacket, and a scarred face. She locked her eyes into his and even if they were several feet away from each other, she saw him smiling. A twisted smile for a twisted man. All she knew from this man was his name—Kellogg—thanks to Nick Valentine for that. But now she had the confirmation he worked with the Institute.   
It smelled like fire near them, but Stella couldn’t move. When she tried to jump off and run to kill that bastard, her legs didn’t follow her mind.   
“Kellogg!” she shouted. “That’s him! That’s the man who took Shaun!”   
Maxson followed her gaze until he saw him too. “He’s as good as dead,” he promised.   
He took Stella by the arm and they jumped together. He landed on his feet, but she didn’t because of her painful leg.   
  
“ _ **Elder, Austin, get to cover**_!” Danse urged from a distance.   
As much as Stella wanted to kill Kellogg, she was aware of how dangerous the battlefield was. She followed Maxson and a Sergeant behind an old wrecked truck and reloaded her rifle. Maxson put his face in front of hers. “I’ll cover you,” he said. “Austin, you go find out where your boy is. You hear me? You need to go now.”   
She almost kissed him just then, but he lifted her up and pushed her away. She ran, feeling more laser burns all over her body, but the pain didn’t matter anymore. She heard Danse screaming her name, but all she was paying attention to was the balding man in front of her.   
When she reached him, he didn’t even tried shooting her, he grabbed her hair and threw her on the ground behind a vertibird wreckage that was still on fire.   
“Silly bitch,” he snapped. “You thought you could get me without a fight?”   
She kicked him in the legs, but she was aiming for his balls while simultaneously trying to reach for her gun a few feet from her.   
“It’s not you I want,” Stella snapped back. “You know exactly who I want. I want my baby back, and you’re gonna tell me where the hell he is, or I’ll kill you.”   
Kellogg stomped on her torso, cutting the air off her lungs. He left his heavy foot there and smiled again. Stella could barely breathe.   
“Your baby,” he chuckled. “Yeah. Your baby. You fucking idiot cunt. I don’t care what my boss says. You’re not worth it. It’s better off this way. And there’s a surprise for your little Brotherhood friends, but that’ll come later.”   
He pointed a big pistol to her face but before he could shoot her, his head exploded.   
Kellogg’s dead body fell on top of Stella and she felt his blood all over her. Warm, and sticky and disgusting. Elder Maxson hurried to her and pushed the body away. He helped her get up and pressed her rifle in her hands.   
  
“I told you I had you covered,” he said. “No one talks to my Knights like that and lives long enough to see the sun rise again.”   
Stella, still trying to breathe normally, felt hot tears on her face. She looked at Kellogg’s corpse and sobbed, making herself choke even more. What the fuck? What the fuck what the fuck was even going on. That pistol Kellogg had almost killed her with was the very same one he’d used to murder Nate.   
At least now she knew Shaun was with the Institute, there was no doubt about that. It was far from being comforting, but at least she knew _something_. And she also knew that Kellogg was dead, and that was actually a very soothing thought.  
“We’re retreating,” Maxson explained. “Let’s go back to the Prydwen, Austin.”  
Stella kneeled down to grab the pistol. She wouldn’t use it, not after what it had done, but she figured she could trade it to Teagan or something.   
Next to the pistol there were brains and blood, but also... metal. She reluctantly put her hand in what had been Kellogg’s head and retrieved the small item.   
“That thing was a synth,” Maxson said, disgusted. “Keep that object, Austin. Quinlan will have a look at it.”  
  
When they emerged from behind the vertibird, they found an empty battlefield.   
“They disappeared!” Danse said while two other Knights were trying to calm him down. “They just left. Like they teleported. Once their leader was dead, they just teleported back to the Institute.”  
“Kellogg wasn’t their leader,” Stella explained. “He specifically told me about his boss.”  
“We have to find a way to teleport ourselves into that facility,” Maxson said. “But we all need medical attention for now. It’ll have to wait while we find a way around that problem.”   
  
Stella let the others get into the first vertibirds. Maxson and Danse stayed as well, helping with the bodies. Each body was returned to the Prydwen.   
When there was only them three left, with two Sergeants Stella didn’t know much, they heard the deathclaws.   
She’d faced those before, maybe three or four times. And she usually ran away to the nearest secure building, or to a roof where she could kill it from a distance. Maybe the fight had attracted them and they’d come from the Glowing Sea to find out if they could get some lunch out of that.  
They were five. Three were normal sized, but the other two were gigantic—almost the double of the others’ size.   
“Stay in formation,” Maxson ordered.   
“It’s gotta be Kellogg. The Institute,” Stella said. “Elder, you heard him. That _surprise_ he told me about.”   
“Fuck that surprise,” a Sergeant said, and she immediately started firing at the deathclaws. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look i know my chapters are like extremely short  
> but they're also extremely bad so it's a good thing that they're short
> 
> i'm aware of the quality of my content


	8. Deathclaws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deathclaws can fuck shit up 
> 
> maxson has a huge crush on stella and he's like, wtf is this???

 

Maxson

 

 

Sergeant Bailey was the first to engage combat. Maxson fired second, then Sergeant Lee. Arthur looked to his left and saw Danse trying to convince Austin to use her brand new .44 pistol. It was indeed a weapon of great power, but right now was not the time to talk about it. He reached for it and grabbed it from Stella’s shaking hands. He could see that she was afraid, and Arthur had an history with deathclaws and he _knew_ they were lethal. Somehow, he was more aware of the scar across his face.   
“Stay calm,” Danse advised to the group.   
“Just destroy them,” Arthur added. He always felt great satisfaction when he saw one of those lying dead on the ground.   
It was a pretty straightforward battle at first. They were shooting the ‘claws and retreating to wherever their enemies didn’t seem to go, but soon enough the deathclaws were circling them.   
  
They were not behaving like regular deathclaws. Danse seemed to be having the same thought. Because, well, deathclaws didn’t like to play with their food, and that’s exactly what they were doing just now.   
“Where the hell is that last vertibird?” Austin yelled, reloading her rifle. “I can’t believe I’m gonna die before killing some more Institute bastards and finding my son!”   
“There’s a storm!” Arthur replied. “It’ll be on us in any second. We have to do this. You stay with me, Austin. Goddamnit. Don’t fucking lose it again.”   
But they were running out of ammo, and Arthur wasn’t sure he meant that. He could feel the burn of his scar, right there on his face.   
And then, the second biggest deathclaw stretched its big, dark arm and hit him.   
  
Arthur flew a few feet from where he was, hitting Lee’s power armor. He heard a crack coming from his left arm before he even felt the pain—but when it did hit him, he let out a groan. Someone else screamed. A woman. Sergeant Bailey or Austin, but he couldn’t say. Lee was sent in the air by the biggest creature, and Arthur knew from the way his power armor was already damaged, and the way he fell on the ground like a ragdoll, that he was dead. His goddamn best Sergeant was dead.   
Those deathclaws had been trained. They’d been told to do exactly what they were doing. They’d been taught to attack in a certain way. Maybe, and it was crazy but maybe they were synthetic deathclaws. With metal in their bones and chips in their brains. That thought, as frightening as it was, made Arthur jump on his feet. And while he was recovering the .44 pistol, he looked at the battle.   
Danse was defending himself against two of them. He had Lee’s gun in one hand and his own in the other. Behind him, Bailey was shooting at a deathclaw’s head, but not getting any result from it. Soon, she’d be out of ammo.   
Austin was fighting the biggest deathclaw now. That kind was usually nicknamed “mythic”, but Arthur didn’t like to think as mutants and wasteland beasts as “mythic”. They were just mutants and some happened to be bigger than others.   
  
He shot the biggest one, trying not to hit Austin, but it didn’t even bothered with him.   
Except the count was at four deathclaws, and initially they were five...   
Sure enough, the other one caught Arthur in the back.  
That second impact hurt more than the first one.   
As he hit his head on the rocky ground, Arthur thought of the Maxson bloodline. It was over—he’d been the last. He wondered what his funeral would be like.   
“Arthur!”   
He could feel the strong, enormous hand around his body, and the rain that had started falling down. It was warm. He wasn’t exactly at peace, but there were worse ways to go than in battle.  
“ARTHUR!”   
Austin. Stella. He gathered his last strengths to open his eyelids. She was running towards him, the mythic deathclaw on her tail. Still, she was calling for him, her voice horribly tortured. She had blood all over her face, some were hers, some was Kellogg’s.   
When she was close to him, she put the .44 in his hand and ran to the deathclaw. And, like it was the most natural thing in the world, she climbed on its back. The creature didn’t enjoy it, not at all. It screamed and tried to shook her off, but her grip was solid. She was going for the throat.  
Arthur shot the beast in the chest and Austin shot it in the head and the throat, and it fell down.   
Danse had one dead as well, so there were three left.   
  
The mythic was on them before they could catch their breath. It tried hitting him, but Arthur dodged. He rolled in the sand and took cover behind a rusted car.   
Austin wasn’t as fast. She couldn’t have been. She was reloading her gun, still standing on the dead deathclaw’s back, when the big one hit her.   
She was sent high in the air. Like Lee, she went limp, but she was still moving when touching the ground. She wasn’t dead.   
She wasn’t dead.  
But there was an impressive amount of blood all over her body, and she appeared to be coughing and spitting out blood too.  
_Stella_ , Arthur thought, his heart wrenching in pain. She seemed so small just now. The sight of a soldier in this position was never pleasant.   
Elder Maxson forgot himself.  
Arthur ran to her, his rifle on his back and the pistol in his hand. He shot the last .44 bullets before switching back to his primary weapon. He wanted to look down, see how she was doing, but the oversized creature was keeping him busy. It growled at him, showing teeth as big as Arthur’s hands. He could hear the vertibird approaching and already firing. All he had to do was to make the deathclaw care about him more than it cared about Austin.   
So he just shot at it, relentlessly, ignoring the pain in his body.   
He heard Danse screaming something, then the creature raised its big hand to hit Arthur, and everything went black.   
  


*

  
  
Arthur slowly emerged from his blackout. He knew he was on a vertibird because he could recognize the sound the propellers made.   
He didn’t open his eyes right away, his eyelids felt too heavy, and there was a faint ringing in his ears. He had what was probably the worst headache anybody had ever felt—starting from his neck, it spread all the way to his left temple, pulsating with his blood. He had trouble breathing all the way in, and he was pretty sure his left arm was broken.   
For several seconds, Arthur assessed his situation. Then he remembered what had happened. _Austin_.  
His eyes flew open, but when he tried to sit down, Sergeant Bailey and Cade pushed him against the seat he was lying on.   
“Stay calm, Elder,” Cade said, holding two used stimpak. “You’re lucky I decided to get on this vertibird so I could treat your wounds before you got to the Prydwen. It’s a pure coincidence.”  
“Stella,” Arthur grunted, but his voice was an imperceptible moan and they ignored him.   
Since they were still holding him, he raised only his head to see what was going on with the others.   
He could see Danse’s power armor, securely attached to a port next to Danse himself. He appeared to be leaning over something, someone. Austin. She was, as was Arthur, lying down a seat, except she wasn’t moving. At all.  
“Stella,” he repeated with more strength. And this time, when they tried to stop him, he pushed them away and got up anyway. He lost his balance immediately, unable to support his own weight.   
“Sir,” Cade insisted. “Please. Your head was hit quite hard. You need to stay still.”  
“And what about her?” Arthur roared. “Why are you not taking care of her?”  
He pushed himself up and walked the few steps that separated him from Danse and Austin, but when he caught a better glimpse of her, he wished he was still unconscious. He was taken with violent nausea and had to repress the need to vomit.   
  
Her skin was white. It wasn’t pale, it was white, except for the parts where it was covered in her blood. Her left side was a large open wound where the monster’s claws had pressed into her chest. Danse was caressing her blood stained hair, livid.  
“I told them you’d disapprove,” the Paladin said under his breath. “They wouldn’t listen.”  
“What?” Arthur was confused, and he didn’t know if it was because of his concussion, the sight of Austin half-dead or both.   
“Elder, surely you know about such rule.” Cade explained. “We won’t waste our time and medicine on anybody while you—   
” “Cade,” he said. “Help her.” Arthur didn’t have the energy to shout anymore.   
“She probably won’t make it,” Cade whispered.   
  
Arthur violently pushed Cade aside and took his bag to throw it at Danse. Danse opened it up, gathered a few stimpaks and injected Stella with them. It didn’t wake her up, but maybe it would buy them time.   
“When we’re back on the Prydwen, Knight-Captain Cade, you will take Austin and perform surgery on her immediately. Do not spare any equipment or medicine. You treat her the way you’d treat me. That’s an order. Understood?”  
“Understood, Sir.”  
There wasn’t much they could do right now except do their best to stop the bleeding.   
  
When the vertibird attached itself to the main ship, Cade called for a team of medics to transport Austin, but instead Arthur picked her up. Ignoring the pain it was causing in his arm, he followed Danse and the others to the med bay, his eyes on Austin. He almost dropped her when her eyelids fluttered. He could see her eyeballs rolling to the back of her head.   
“Arthur,” she said very faintly as he softly laid her down on a stretcher. “Shaun.”  
She couldn’t talk, and she shouldn’t be talking anyway, but he understood what she was trying to tell him.  
“We’ll find him together,” he assured, holding her hand while Cade was cutting off her uniform with scissors.   
The wound looked even worse that way. Cade stopped for a few seconds just to look at it.   
“Austin saved my life back there. She deserves to live. I want this woman to embrace her son before she dies,” Arthur ordered. “Is that clear?”   
He left the room and let a medic look at him while another was looking at Danse who had several bad scratches and laser burns.   
He thought about the way Austin had called him _Arthur_ back there, obviously fearing for him. It was just unusual. And it made him feel strange. It was insane, and it was far from being reasonable, but Arthur couldn’t imagine what he’d do if Stella didn’t make it.


	9. High but not really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stella and maxson just develop Feelings for each other kinda 
> 
> they talk abt stars and stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look. i know my writing isnt even good. and i know y'all here for the sex and it's gonna happen soon. i mean like... next chapter probably. but if someone does kinda enjoy themselves reading this, thanks!! very appreciated. i love you. and i'm sorry i need so much foreplay before writing smut.  
> xxxxxx

 

Stella

 

 

She was high.  
Stella could barely feel her body. The only thing she kind of really feel was her left side. There was no pain, it was merely a light pressure. Sure, she’d taken chems before, but whatever they had her on must have been a hell of a cocktail. She thought about Hancock and smiled. He’d be so jealous of her right now.  
She remembered exactly what had happened, so Stella was extra thankful to be anything but sober or she’d be freaking out. Screaming at the top of her lungs. Probably beating up one or two people. But she was relaxed and pain free.  
She usually kept her eyes closed because the lights on the ceiling were blinding her. She had no idea of how much time had passed. It might have been an hour or a week since she’d been hurt.  
“Austin? You smiled. I know Cade has you on the heavy stuff, I just didn’t imagine it would be that fun.”

Danse. Stella smiled again and forced her eyes open before closing them immediately. She tried to say the word “lights”, but her mouth wasn’t complying as well as expected. Danse asked her to repeat several times before he could understand.  
“They’re off,” he said after a few seconds. “Look at me.”  
Stella opened her eyes. There was still some light in the room, most likely a few candles. She was in his quarters—Danse’s—and the ceiling lights were off. He had his face over hers and he was holding her hand. She squeezed his fingers a little, and he had a large smile. She had never seen him smile like that.  
“Cade said you might need some more time asleep, but you’ve just proven him wrong,” Danse told her. “It’s been three days. Are you okay?”  
She shook her head up and down: yes.  
Stella tried touching what she thought was her left side but could only feel fabric. At least it was dry—last time she’d done the same, only half-awake, all she’d felt was blood.  
“You’re a hell of a warrior, soldier,” Danse said. “And you’ll keep a remarkable scar. Better than Elder Maxson’s, I bet.”  
Maxson. She tried speaking again, asking Danse where Maxson was, but her mouth was too dry and it felt dead.  
“Austin, just, please,” Danse begged. “Calm down. You can’t move. Don’t move. Elder Maxson is okay. Thanks to you. He’ll probably reward you with a high rank, you know. And a weapon. Okay, I know he’ll give you a weapon. His own gauss rifle. You deserve it. You fought well. But pretend you’re surprised when he gives it to you.”  
She wanted to see him, to see Maxson, but she couldn’t move at all. She heard Cade’s voice, and Danse talked with him a little, and she went back to sleep.

The second time she woke up, Danse’s quarters were totally dark. The Prydwen was silent, so she assumed it was late in the night.  
She wasn’t nearly as high as she’d been, and she could feel the piercing burn of her wound. She let out a cry of pain, surprised to even feel it. Where the hell were her meds? Goddamnit, fuck. Cade was probably asleep and hadn’t given her the shot before leaving her for the night.  
There was a noise near her, and someone turned on the desk light.  
Maxson was sitting on the only chair in the room, an arm tightly secured in a cast, wearing casual clothes. He got up, pulling the chair to settle it next to the bed. Then he turned his back to her for a while and came back with a glass of water. He put the glass against her chapped lips and helped her drink. She choked at first, but he patiently waited until she drank all of it, holding the back of her head for additional assistance. Then, she asked for more, and he repeated.  
“Do you want this?” he asked when he went to put the glass back, holding a syringe filled with a light blue liquid. “How badly does it hurt?”  
She did want it, but she also wanted to be not high. For a few minutes at least. Just aware of his presence for a little while.  
“No,” she said.  
He opened a drawer and let the syringe fall back into it. He sat down next to her, silent. Maxson was limping a little. He sure did his best to hide it but it was miserable. She reached for his cast with her right arm.  
“You?”  
“I’m—God, Austin—I’m okay, don’t worry about me. You almost died, did you know?”  
Of course she knew. The constant, debilitating pain she felt was there to remind her of that.  
He delicately took her hand and put it back on the bed. His skin was comforting and warm.  
“Don’t worry,” he said again. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s just, it was my turn. To watch over you. We’ve all been taking turns.”

She was tearing up. Stella tried swallowing it back, but she couldn’t. Maybe she was just tired. Anyway, she didn’t want him to see her cry like that. It was already enough to be stuck in this bed.  
“Don’t...” he started, whispering. “Don’t cry... Please... Stella.”  
It was the first time she heard him use her first name. She was touched by this very intimate moment they were sharing, and glad she had refused the drugs.  
“Stella means ‘star’, you know?” Maxson asked her, trying to hold conversation.  
If she hadn’t been in so much discomfort and already crying, Stella would have burst into laughter. Instead, she managed a chuckle, and immediately cringed in pain afterwards.  
Her mouth slowly coming back to life, she smiled.  
“Did you seriously think I didn’t know that?” Stella asked.  
He looked so serious she almost regretted laughing. He shifted his weight and stared at her hands instead of her eyes. She noticed he had many cuts on his face, and injuries here and there. Frowning, she lifted her right hand again and touched his cheek to feel the scars. He jumped at the gentle touch, but closed his eyes and put his hand over hers.  
His lower lip was cut and not quite healed yet. She touched it as well, using her thumb to brush it carefully, her movements slow and tender.  
She had feared for him when she thought he was about to die. She cared about him.

“My mother loved stars,” she said under her breath. “She was trying to find a star to name me after, but she couldn’t settle for just one. So she named me Stella instead. My father thought it was a good idea.”  
She thought she saw him smile, but maybe it was just the lighting. Her heart was pumping inside her chest, almost painfully. Maybe it had something to do with her injury. But, probably not. _He looks so beautiful just now,_ she told herself, embarrassed at her own thought.  
“Tell me about your mother’s stars,” he demanded. Their voices were low and sweet, and he kept her hand on his cheek. His eyes were back staring into hers, curious, caring. She had never thought Maxson could hold so much kindness in him.  
“She loved the Pleiades,” Stella remembered. “Told me all of the real mythology about once in my childhood, then only made up stories after them from that point. Also Polaris, Vega, Antares—the bright ones. She told me stories about stars all the time.”  
Arthur was smiling now, for sure. A soft smile, amused but not mocking. He lowered their still joined hands on his knee. It was more comfortable like that but she wished she was still touching his face.  
She wished he was holding not just her hand, but her whole aching body. _Am I high?_  
Stella didn’t remember much of that day and the deathclaws, but she remembered him picking her up like she weighted nothing and taking her into the Prydwen. She also had a vague memory of exchanging a few words with him. All she knew for sure was, he promised her they’d find Shaun together.  
“You ought to tell me more someday,” Maxson said. “But if I were to make you talk more tonight, Cade would probably kill me. You should sleep, Austin.”  
“Sir.” She wanted him to talk to her again, hear his voice. She was hurt and she was exhausted. “What about Shaun?”  
Maxson’s eyes looked at something on a table she couldn’t quite see. She stretched her neck ( _fuck, that hurt_ ) and caught glimpse of Kellogg’s .44 pistol.  
“From what Paladin Danse has told me,” Maxson explained, and his Elder voice was back, though it was softer than usual, “Kellogg and his team weren’t in the Glowing Sea specifically to attack us. Rather, they ran into us while looking for one of their men. Danse heard the conversation himself. But we should talk about this some other time, Austin.”  
“No!” She had tried to sit, or just move, she wasn’t sure, and it sent excruciating pain all over the left side of her chest, and even all the way to her spine. She cried and fell back into the mattress.  
“Austin, don’t move!” Maxson sounded anxious. “That’s an order.”  
“Just tell me,” she pleaded.  
He sighed. “The man’s name is Virgil.” There was a long pause. “I went looking for him myself just yesterday, with Paladin Danse and Proctor Ingram.”  
“Where’s Shaun?”  
“He didn’t know about Shaun. He thinks he might get someone into the Institute but it won’t be easy. It really won’t. He wants something in return, too.”  
“Anything,” Stella promised. “Literally.”  
“He was the victim of his own mistake. He’s a scientist, and one of his experiments went bad. He turned into...” Maxson paused again. “He’s like, you know, a mutant. But with a human mind.”  
“Did you kill him? Sir, tell me you didn’t kill him. We _need_ him.”  
“I didn’t kill him!” Maxson defended himself. “For your sake, Austin.”

That night, she fell back to sleep with the Elder’s hand into hers. What Stella didn’t know, and what Maxson didn’t know either, was that they were at the beginning of an end.

As soon as she was able to walk, Stella started preparing for her infiltration in the Institute. But once she was in, she regretted ever going this way. And it had surprisingly little to do with the scientist hidden in the Glowing Sea, or with Kellogg, or with anything she would have expected it to.

That one night when she was still kind of high but not really, Maxson kept her hand in his and spoke to her softly, but soon after he fucked it all up.


	10. Royal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't think arthur has ever really seen a woman wearing a dress before like in real life so he gets a little excited 
> 
> and he's like, whoa yeah i kind of....... have FEELINGS?????? what is thIS my pants are suddenly extremely tight
> 
> There's about 5 chapters left I think? Thanks for the kudos and love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> post destroying the institute  
> post blind betrayal
> 
> i'm sorry it took so goddamn long before they do the naugthy  
> i'm a sucker for angst and FEELINGS ugh

 

Stella

 

 

She still had nightmares, except they were even worse now.  
Stella woke up, putting her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound of her screams. She closed her fist and bit hard in it, until she tasted blood, until she stopped screaming. She looked around to see where she was and realized she was in Sanctuary, in Shaun’s bedroom.  
The crib was gone, replaced with a bed as nice as it could be, but there wasn’t much she could make out in the dark.  
It had been a terrible, terrible month.  
So terrible that she never knew where she actually was as she woke up. Sometimes she’d wake up thinking she was on the Prydwen. The next day she was here, in Sanctuary, in this bedroom, and the next she was in another bedroom, then back on the Prydwen. But sometimes, she it felt as if she was before the war. That had to be the worst. To think, even just one second, that everything was going to be alright.  
Anyway, it was all the same, and none of it mattered much.  
“Mom? Mom are you alright? Are you having nightmares again?”  
Except him. He mattered. He mattered so fucking much. He was the reason she was alive, panting from screaming, her fist bloody and scarred with her own bites—but alive, still.  
  
Stella turned on her pip-boy light to the lowest setting, filling the room with a soft, yellowish light. She saw Shaun sitting on the bed Preston and Danse had built for him. His eyes blinded by the light, he held his sheets with his tiny hands.  
“It’s okay to have nightmares you know.” he went on. So wise. Too wise.  
“Do you have nightmares, Shaun?” she asked. She wanted to know.  
She turned the light off and left her own bed to lie down next to Shaun. He was warm.  
“You know I don’t remember much, mom.” Shaun answered. “I have dreams, but they’re neither good or bad. They’re just dreams.”  
Shaun was so warm, and if she put her hand on his neck, she’d feel his pulse. This child was real. And yet, he was not the one she had kept in her belly for nine months. He was not the one Nate had played with when neither of them could sleep.  
No, that Shaun was dead.  
_He would have died anyway_ , a voice whispered in her mind. _He was already dying. He was sick._  
You killed him, another voice said, louder. _You killed your own son. All for what? A man with a scar on his face, who orders the assassination of his own friend and pretends he doesn’t care about you when he obviously does._  
Stella repressed the need to bite herself again. Her breakdown would wait. For now, she was holding her son. Her synth son, but her son all the same. And, she loved him. It didn’t matter. She could still hear Maxson’s disgusted voice when he had learned the truth about Danse. _They’re not real, these things are not real, they don’t have a human soul_. But when she looked into Shaun’s eyes, and Danse’s, she did see a soul. She saw compassion and she saw nothing but two people she loved.  
The last time she had stared at Maxson, she’d seen a block of ice that refused to melt under the sun.  
Shaun was real.  
  
When Stella woke up again, Shaun had already left. She panicked, but only for a couple seconds before hearing him laugh in the distance.  
The sun was already high up in the sky. Stella’s stomach growled loudly and she sighed, sitting up. She felt tired even though she’d probably slept many hours. She only had restless sleep anymore, and she didn’t know if it would ever get back to normal, or if the choices she had made would haunt her forever.  
Stella stretched her back, wincing at the pain on her left side. She lifted her shirt to look at the wound. It didn’t look infected, and the scar wasn’t as dark as last week, but it still hurt a lot. She heard footsteps in the hallway and Danse appeared, only to turn his face away.  
“I’m not naked,” she pointed out. “Come see. I think it’s healing well.”  
His face was very pink when he walked to the bed. He sat down and looked at it for a few seconds.  
“You’re right,” he admitted, smiling. “How are you feeling, Austin? Is everything alright?”  
“Yeah,” she replied, pulling her shirt down again. “Was Shaun worried?”  
“A little, but I told him you were going through a lot and not to fear for you. He’s helping Preston with things around Sanctuary now.”  
She shook her head, unsure of what to say exactly. Danse looked as exhausted as she did, and Stella could easily guess he wasn’t getting much sleep either. Between finding out he was a synth and being banned from the Brotherhood, Danse had been through a lot as well.  
He hugged her, just a second or two.  
  
She was considering her breakfast when Danse sighed heavily, distracting her.  
“You have to go, you—” he told her, but his voice broke mid-sentence.  
“Danse. You can’t be serious. You know I’m literally about to quit.”  
He raised sad eyes on her. They looked at each other, speechless.  
“You just have to go,” he repeated. “You’re Sentinel. When they’re gone, the airport goes under your leadership.”  
Sentinel. When they’re gone. Leadership. Fuck.  
There was a party or something like that at the airport tonight. Maxson was throwing it to celebrate the Brotherhood’s victory and, basically, their supreme reign over the Commonwealth. Stella definitely didn’t want to go. It was never in her plans. She had barely exchanged more than twenty words with Maxson since the Institute had been destroyed and he had made her Sentinel. At first, she had tried to quit, but Ingram had insisted she didn’t. She had said Stella was the best for this job. Because she was kind. Anyway, Stella had accepted to stay for a while. So, officially, she was on medical leave. She was still invited to this goddamn party though.  
“Austin, please, listen to me.”  
She didn’t want to listen to him, but she did anyway, just because they were best friends.  
“If you don’t go, it’ll look bad for you, and you’ll be kicked out,” Danse said. “But I think, I think if you remain within the Brotherhood of Steel, you have better odds of making Shaun’s life in the Commonwealth a little bit better. You already did so much—the Institute was a threat, but what now?”  
“You think I can go there, wait for Maxson to leave, then proclaim synths are no longer hated by the Brotherhood?”  
“No,” Danse admitted. “That’s not what I meant. I meant, you’ll have no fear of him—or me, for what it’s worth—running into a scouting team somewhere you’ll know where all of your soldiers will be. Hell, you’ll make them go wherever you want, whenever you want. And that one thing is worth it, at least until he grows up a little and nobody in the Brotherhood knows what he looks like anymore.”  
  
At first, the very first day after the destruction of the Institute, she’d wanted to run, but Danse pointed out that Shaun would be recognized everywhere he went. He kept telling her to wait until her son grew up. Wait until he’s older, Austin. Just be patient, a few more years. Kids grow fast. Etcetera.  
Except she didn’t even know if he would grow up at all. He was a synth after all, and even if there was no way to discern him from another person, she didn’t know how he... worked. He didn’t come with an instructions manual. She had no idea what their future would be like. Shaun loved Sanctuary though, and he often mentioned how he wanted to build himself a house here someday. Stella wasn’t sure if he meant it or if he just overheard a conversation between her and Danse and wanted to soothe her. He did that kind of stuff a lot.  
  
“Mom!” Shaun exclaimed from somewhere outside the house. “Come see this!”  
Danse’s smile was mysterious, which wasn’t good news to her. She followed him to Cait’s house where Cait and Shaun were waiting for her. Cait was hiding something behind her back.  
“Are you going to put it on before leaving?” Shaun asked.  
“Put what on?”  
“This, darling. Danse and I found it,” Cait said, her voice happy.  
She showed her the little “surprise” they had for her. It was a dress. A fucking dress. Definitely pre-war, and exceptionally well preserved. It was the expensive kind. Backless, sleeveless, generally very suggestive. Not something Stella would have picked herself, if she was being honest. It was pink, too. She wouldn’t look like a Sentinel in that. It was pretty, it was just, unfitting. Of the situation.  
She was trying to find a way to explain that to her friends when Hancock approached them. He was often in Goodneighboor, but sometimes visited her, especially lately. She appreciated him, and his humor. He whistled.  
“That’ll show them!” he exclaimed. “Dress to impress, am I right? Cait told me she had accessories to go with it. I just didn’t expect it to be that pink.”  
“There’s no need to impress,” Stella grumbled. “I’m just going there because I have to. I won’t stay very long.”  
Hancock snorted. He waited for Shaun to follow Cait into the house as she was retrieving shoes for her, then he turned to Stella again.  
“You wear this dress and you wear it with pride,” he told her. “And you show Elder Maxson you’re not only the best soldier he’s seen, you’re also the prettiest. Alright?”  
Yeah, she could go for that.  
  


Maxson

  
  
Arthur shifted his weight on his chair. It was a very beautiful chair specifically made for him tonight, but it was also awfully uncomfortable.  
He looked to his left where the empty chair reminded him of Austin’s absence. He was not surprised, just disappointed. He had hoped she still had a place in her heart for the role of Sentinel, but if she wasn’t here tonight, it meant she didn’t. Even someone on medical leave can show up to a party. He would have to appoint somebody else.  
She was probably with her synth friends. Arthur drank a long swallow of moonshine—he ought not to think of Danse, not tonight.  
His chair (and Austin’s, and Kells’) were on a stage in front of the area they’d reserved for tonight. It was very satisfactory to see his soldiers wearing classy outfits and celebrating their victory.  
Arthur was on his own for now. Kells seemed to be in a very serious discussion with Rhys and Teagan, but all three were holding wine glasses. Yes, tonight was good. And he better be enjoying it because the Brotherhood didn’t have the habit of partying very often.  
Except he wasn’t enjoying it.  
  
He shifted his weight, nervously, and looked at the chair once more. He had a chair made for her. Carved in birch with a white velvet seat. Hell. Ungrateful synth lover. Arthur drank more. Birch rhymed with bitch. Not really. Kind of. A little.  
He had a desolate laugh. The laugh of a man who’s too aware he’s becoming drunker every second that passes.  
  
Who would he appoint? Cade, maybe. Or Ingram. She liked the Commonwealth a lot. She seemed happy here, and kept saying how she’d fix it back, starting with the airport, then everything else. She even had friends, in Sanctuary, Austin’s—  
_Stop thinking about her_. He finished his glass and stood up to get more moonshine. If he had to get drunk in order to get through the night, he would.  
He found Ingram not far from where the liquor bottles were stashed. While she was pouring herself a rather impressive drink, he cleared his throat.  
“Proctor Ingram,” he saluted. “Come with me, will you?”  
She appeared to be puzzled but followed him anyway, drinking. And drinking more. He drank too.  
“I’ll make things more official tomorrow,” Arthur told her when he was sitting in his chair again. “But you’ll be the Sentinel here when we’re gone.”  
Ingram spit out the liquor she’d just drank. At least it was on the ground, not on him.  
“Sir,” she said. “With all due respect, how many drinks did you have?”  
“It doesn’t matter. You, out of all people, know it’s the right thing to do.”  
She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again and looked at the empty chair beside him, then down.  
“Am I dismissed, Elder?” she asked, barely loud enough for him to hear her over the music.  
“Yes, Ingram. See you tomorrow morning. Or noon, depending on how many of those I get through.”  
He raised his glass at her and took a long swallow of moonshine.  
Arthur stared at the Prydwen above him. How beautiful she was.  
  
He heard someone, probably Scribe Haylen exclaim: “She’s here! Look at her!” so he put his eyes back on the party. At first, he didn’t see her, but then she was easy to find. All he had to do was to follow the crowd moving to get out of her way.  
  
Austin wore an outrageously short and shockingly pink pre-war dress. She had makeup on, too, black around her eyes and pinkish red on her lips. What struck Arthur at first was how thin she was compared to before she left. And even the makeup wasn’t concealing her fatigue.  
The dress showed more cleavage he’d ever seen on a woman with clothes on. Her hair seemed longer, and she had beautifully braided it on the side of her head. The braid rested on her shoulder, bouncing with her breasts with each step she made.  
Arthur tried to put down his glass on the table they’d left for him but it went straight to the wooden floor. Nobody was looking at him anyway. Nobody except her.  
When she reached the stage, she stood before him, beautiful and fearless and unapologetic.  
Austin raised her chin and saluted him for a brief moment before letting her arm fall back to the side of her body. He noticed it then, her scar showing proudly where there was no fabric to hide it. Suddenly aware of the heat around here, Arthur coughed nervously and pulled the collar of his shirt down to catch a breeze. There was no breeze. There was only her, and she was the most stunning, gorgeous woman he had ever seen.  
  
Most people were back at partying, and Arthur hoped they would keep it this way. He had heard the rumors on the ship after Austin’s departure. And Danse’s departure. People mostly assumed he and Austin had been involved together, and that she’d left him for Danse the synth after a while. Jokes about metal cocks and shit like that. It drove Arthur crazy.  
“Elder,” she said in a very casual voice, almost too casual. “Requesting permission to enter the Boston airport.”  
He didn’t know if she was making fun of him or not. She probably wasn’t. And she’d been on leave after all. Dismissed for a long period. “Permission granted, Sentinel,” he replied. “Take a seat if you want. There’s your chair.”  
“My chair?” She climbed the stage and Arthur had to look away because he was afraid he would see too much under that dress. Austin touched the wood and the seat before sitting down. Her nails were painted with red.  
  
He had missed her. And if Arthur had been anything other than drunk, he wouldn’t have been able to admit it even to himself. But he’d missed her. He would have been glad to see her appear in a dusty old uniform, but this dress...  
He gestured one of the Initiates who was in charge of the booze and the young man brought them two glasses and a bottle of bourbon.  
“How are things?” she asked after staring at the crowd for several seconds.  
“They’re good,” Arthur said. “Smoother. How are you—”  
“Don’t ever ask about my personal life, Elder,” Stella snapped, cutting him off. “Not tonight, not ever. You’ve made your choice, and I’ve made mine. Is that clear?”  
Arthur felt a mix of frustration and longing spread all inside his body. He finished his drink, poured himself another one and turned to face her. His gaze was immediately drawn to her cleavage, but he looked up.  
“Don’t use that tone on me, Sentinel,” he threatened.  
“Or what?”  
Or what indeed? She probably wasn’t afraid of being retrograded. Maybe that was why she was here. To anger him, make him choose another Sentinel instead of her. He had no defense against her, and she knew that well.  
“I thought so,” Austin said after a while, her lips forming a smile. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll go see my friends. Nice party by the way.”  
Okay, well, if she was going to have that kind of attitude... Arthur made sure to look at her ass while she was walking away, but he was strangely hypnotized by her naked back too.  
He hated himself when he was drunk.  
  
Arthur put down his glass on the table and pressed his hands on his face. _Wake up, you fuck_. Yeah, maybe he should go up there and sober up. He could probably find something to do the job in his place in Cade’s stuff.  
Ignoring the stares his soldiers were giving him, Arthur left the party and went directly to one of the vertibird teams that was on duty tonight, in case people needed to get back on the ship. As soon as the bird was attached, he jumped off and stormed to the med bay. There wasn’t much in there, and he didn’t like using actual chems. He tried a stimpak but couldn’t really feel the difference.  
He went to the mess hall and took off his coat. There, he sat down for a while, just thinking, literally ignoring the tightness in the crotch of his pants. She hated him. Austin despised every inch of his body and soul. He thought of the night he was watching over her while she was in recovery, and the stars she had told him about. The way she had touched his face.  
No, that wasn’t a good thing to think about. Or rather, it was too good and wasn’t helping with the crotch problem. He thought about locking himself up in his quarters, taking care of this and going back down, but he didn’t want her to win. She had definitely picked this dress exactly to get this very reaction out of him.  
  
Instead, Arthur crossed the Prydwen again and entered the command center. He leaned over the large windows, his hands on the railing, looking down. From here, he could make out the lights and the crowd, but couldn’t hear the music. It was pretty to look at. He was proud. He had achieved something, and most of his soldiers were still alive to tell that story.  
He couldn’t see the pink dress though. In the crowd.  
Behind him, a metallic sound—a gun being cocked. He froze. He wasn’t afraid, or even unafraid. He didn’t feel anything at all. Arthur knew exactly who was with him in the room, though.  
  
“Austin.” Arthur didn’t know what else to say. He wanted to say he was sorry, but he wasn’t sure it was true. She wouldn’t believe him anyway.  
Arthur turned around to face her. Her hair was loose now and she was holding a pistol with both her hands. It was the .44 he’d retrieved from Kellogg’s body.  
“Can we talk?” he asked her, honest. He also wanted to buy himself some time. “I’m unarmed. My pistol is in my coat, back in the mess hall. You can kill me afterwards if you still want to. I can’t stop you.”  
“You could kill me with your bare hands if you wanted to, let’s not assume I’m a fool,” Austin replied. “I have no time for bullshit.”  
But she didn’t shoot him, so he talked.  
  
“I know you hate me,” he said. “And I know why you do, and I understand. But they’ll know it was you. You’ll get arrested. They’ll torture and kill you. And you can’t do this to Shaun.”  
Instead of releasing her grip, she held the gun tighter, her knuckles turning white. Taking a step closer to him, she shrieked like an animal. She was so beautiful. He would die drunk, rock hard for her, standing on the deck of his ship. He was kind of okay with this.  
“Don’t ever say his name! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you Arthur!”  
Arthur. He loved to hear his name in her mouth.  
“Okay, Stella, please,” he said. “Just tell me why you do it. Is it because of...” He didn’t dare say Danse’s name. While he had let the child go unharmed, he had to ban Danse from the Brotherhood and the whole Commonwealth. But when he had considered taking the child and executing Shaun, he had thought of Austin, and how easily she could hurt herself over losing him. He couldn’t do it. So he just... pretended he never even saw Ingram take him with her.  
  
“I loved you,” Stella finally whispered. “And you loved me. But you fucked us up both. And fucked him up. Your own best friend. Do you know how hard it is to look at him every day? It’s like seeing a ghost. The man doesn’t know what the hell he’s alive for. He still calls you Elder Maxson. Still trains for shooting and physical endurance. But you broke him. And you broke my heart. You went too far.”  
She was close now. She cringed when he lifted his hand, but she let him take the gun away from her. He tossed it to the side and grabbed her hand into his instead.  
“I still love you sometimes,” she added, her voice even lower. “But I’ll never forgive you.”  
He put his other hand on her cheek. She seemed so small, so vulnerable, when he knew damn well she was the opposite of that. Her lips were trembling with cries, but she kept her tears all for herself. Her lipstick was gone, probably smeared on her glass back down.  
_I still love you all the time_ , he thought. He thought those very words in that very order at least ten times before giving up: he wouldn’t be able to say it. It didn’t sound right that Elder Arthur Maxson would say something like that. He was afraid of feeling the way he was feeling just now.  
  
She kissed him first. It surprised him, but what shocked him more was how hungry her mouth was. Arthur hadn’t kissed anyone in years, and he was unsure of his technique. She smelled good. She smelled like flowers and her mouth tasted like liquor.  
Stella’s lips were soft where his were rough and coarse. All of her was soft. Her hair, her hands, her skin. He put his hands on her back and pressed her against him, her breasts squeezing on his chest.  
She parted from his mouth only to end up kissing and biting his neck. Arthur didn’t know what to do with his hands. It wasn’t his first time having sex, but it’d happened only twice before, and it wasn’t like _that_. He decided to lay his hands on her ass as she was going back up for his lips, pushing her tongue deep in his mouth. She moaned, loud, wanting, and he grabbed her butt cheeks, which resulted in more moans.  
He could live with her not forgiving him, he deserved it. Her voice sighing his name was worth it.  
  
Arthur pushed her against the railing and Stella immediately opened her legs. He held her hips to make sure she wouldn’t fall down on the windows. They were solid enough, but he didn’t want her to get hurt.  
Her hands, though, were free, and she unzipped his pants hastily. They fell to his ankles with his underwear, kind of bothering him there, but as soon as she pressed herself against his erection, wet and warm, he didn’t mind that either, no more than her internal hatred for him.  
  
He lifted her dress. Stella was wearing pink undies, with white lace on them. He had never seen lingerie in real life before, only pictures in old magazines. He slipped a hand between her legs, still holding her with his stronger arm, the one that hadn’t been broken. When she felt his fingers against her lacy lingerie, she bit her lip and her head fell back while she was softly thrusting her hips, pressing his fingers closer to her. She wanted this as much as he did. He gently pushed the undies on the side, feeling her wet opening before entering a finger inside her. She had a little hair down there, beautiful and soft, slightly darker than the color of the hair. Everything about her was unreal.  
“Arthur,” she panted. “Arthur. Fuck me. Just fuck me.”  
He was still in shock of even just touching her this way, but as much as his cock was demanding for attention, Arthur loved seeing Stella asking and begging and wanting. He began moving his index finger in her, very slowly, determining which spots she liked the most. When he had it figured out, or mostly, he entered a second finger and a third, and pushed them in and out, brushing off her favourite spots on his way. She wasn’t even moaning anymore, Stella was just feeling him, her face flushed and full of bliss.  
  
He made it last. Arthur feared someone might walk in on them, or hear them from outside the room, or, worse, that everybody would be seeing them from below. But when she called his name again, he kissed her and took her undies off. He pulled the top of the dress down so he could see her breasts. She had a bra matching the dress and undies, but he ripped it off her. She let out a cry, and he flinched. He didn’t want to hurt her.  
Except, Austin didn’t mind. She was holding on to him. He stopped everything just to look at her. They stared at each other, her mouth open, his hand cupping her breast. She slowly reached for his cock, and never something so soft had touched him there. He feared he would come just then as she was slowly stroking him.  
He lowered his gaze to the action, feeling his orgasm closer every second. But he wouldn’t. Not now.  
Her red nails around him like that, he was always big, especially now that he was so hard, but in her small, delicate hands... it was a hell of a sight. Her grip was good but loose enough to allow her to go fast. It seemed she always went faster, but at a steady pace.  
He was close again, just because she was so damn good at it, and because it had been so long.  
“Fuck me, Arthur, fuck me hard,” she begged again.  
He had never fucked hard, but he would do what he could to please her.  
  
She let go of his cock so he could grab her firmly again. In the faint light he could see the scar on her side. He had thought she was dead. He had thought she was dying in his arms. And there she was, in his arms again, waiting for him to fuck her.  
He guided himself inside her soaking wet entrance and let his hand grab her hair. She had a cry again, and he saw now that it wasn’t pain—it was delight.  
Her pussy was tight around him, but slick, and he easily gave a couple thrusts to ease himself in. “I’m gonna fuck you like a queen,” he said in her ear.  
“And you’re a king with a crown too heavy for his shoulders,” she whispered back. _What_? Troubled and a little pissed, he gave a violent push inside her, pulling on her hair at the same time, more accidentally than willingly, but it made her neck and back arch in a way that made her look even more beautiful.  
  
And then he fucked her. At a fast pace to begin with, but he slowed himself a little to bury his cock deep in her pussy, then almost withdrawing all of it, then pushing it back in, his balls forcefully hitting her ass. She had her arms around his neck, pulling his hair, too, and she was screaming. Good. He had a queen on his dick and her hard nipple in his mouth.  
  
Let the whole goddamn world know the Elder was fucking his Sentinel.  
  
She was loving it. “Arthur, fuck, shit, fuck, just, fuck,” was all she could manage now. He couldn’t speak at all. He was determined to last longer than she would.  
When it got even tighter around his cock, she buried her face in his neck.  
“I’m gonna—“ she started, but then she came.  
It was an explosion of lust. Never Arthur had been so aroused. He continued to slide his cock in and outside her. It was the first time a woman had an orgasm with him inside her. His eyes were everywhere. Her open mouth, himself buried between her thighs, the large scar on her skin, her tits bouncing, red with the marks of his own teeth, and, above everything else, her face. She didn’t look just beautiful as she came, she looked sexy and scary at the same time, and she screamed his name again in the most exquisite way.  
Naturally, he came too. He couldn’t pull out—he wasn’t quick enough, and her legs were still tightly wrapped around his thighs from her orgasm, so he just came with his cock inside her, her spasms ending as he was sending his seed deep, deep in her, filling her up good.  
She sighed. A high pitched, lovely sigh. Her nails were buried in his back.  
  
It took about a minute for them to move. Arthur eventually pulled himself out and they both put their clothes back on as best as they could. She gathered her underwear and pistol, but only stood still, her back straight. Her lips were swollen and red, and he felt the urge to kiss her again.  
He didn’t.  
Arthur was thinking about something to say. Like, “it was pretty good, right?” or “let’s go to my quarters”, but no. No that was dumb.  
Then he wanted to say it again. _I still love you all the time_. Except that was even worse. Himself could barely believe how strongly he cared about her, and how quickly he had developed serious feelings for her. It made him feel foolish.  
“Do you want something to drink?” he heard himself ask, and almost hit his head on the wall.  
She didn’t turn to him right away. She looked down to the window, then into his eyes.  
“I’m sorry I said that,” he nervously added.  
“I could use a shower,” Stella replied. “And some clothes.”  
He nodded and walked a few steps to leave the command center. They’d installed showers down in the airport, and he thought they could get there without being seen. But he stopped. No, he had to say something.  
“Stella.” She stopped too and looked up, busy fitting her belongings into the small white purse she had left next to the door. “I just...” Arthur paused. “I would go for this you know. Like, you only loving me sometimes, and not ever forgiving me.”  
She closed the purse and softly licked her lip, still raw from kissing so hard, before biting it. “You don’t mean that,” she told him. “You really don’t.”  
Stella closed her eyes. “I still want to be Sentinel, and I’m ready to get back on the job,” she added. “See you tomorrow, Arthur.”  
And that was it. She was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted to say thank you to like everyone who reads this thing. means a lot to me. you're all great i love you


	11. Purple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first week of actual work as sentinel for our stella. not great. 
> 
> but before that, danse gets emotional.

Stella

 

 

Danse stared at her as she was putting on her Brotherhood armor. He was looking at the red marks all over her chest, silent, still and probably shocked. She wore a thin, white top under the armor, so Danse wasn’t even seeing the worst ones. Thank God, Stella thought.   
He moved closer and helped zipping up the armor, then pulling on the sleeves to adjust them. It was strangely comfortable to be back in that armor. It was tight and she liked the fabric against her skin. She felt good, except for her crotch—she had to admit she felt raw and sore down there. Her cheeks warmed up at the thought.   
She put on her boots and laced them slowly.   
“I’ll take care of him,” Danse said. “Shaun.”   
“I know,” Stella replied, lacing her second boot. “You’re basically his dad, you know.”   
Everyone knew that. The way Shaun looked at Danse, no matter what he was doing—the boy admired the fuck out of him. They were very alike, in so many ways, too. It only made sense. If anything, Shaun was more like Danse than he was like her. It had hurt at first, but now Stella was okay with it. Shaun seemed happy here, with Danse. And whenever Nick was paying them a visit, it was like a special treat. It was good for him to be surrounded with people who understood him.  
“I’m not his father.” Danse’s voice was strangely trembling.   
“Who cares. I’m not his biological mother.” Stella stood up again, looking into Danse’s dark eyes. “He loves you.”   
  
She ignored the tears in her friend’s eyes. Not that she didn’t care, but she knew he would be uncomfortable if she acknowledged them. So she went to another side of her room to retrieve her coat and her rifle.   
“Don’t let Hancock feed him cakes all day,” Stella advised, a last glance for the mirror, checking her braided hair. “And tell Shaun not to sit in the sun for too long.”   
Danse laughed, doubt vanishing from his face. “You’re leaving for a week, Austin,” he pointed out. “We’ll handle this. Shaun could take care of himself.”   
That was very true. He wasn’t a child, not really. He loved toys and playing with Dogmeat, but he was also reasonable and extremely rational. And very wise. It was strange.   
He still needed someone to make him eat his vegetables though.   
  
When she was ready, Stella followed Danse outside the house and found Shaun and Ingram waiting for her not far from the river. Shaun hugged her tight, for a long time.   
“I’ll miss you, honey,” she told him, kissing his head. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”   
“You have a cool job, mom,” he said, smiling. “Will you bring something back for me? Anything?”   
She smiled, too, tearing up a little. He was so pure. Too goddamn pure for this world.   
“Of course, Shaun. I promise.”   
Ingram cleared her throat and Stella gave a soft push on Shaun’s back so he would stand next to Danse. Danse put his big hand on Shaun’s shoulder, and Stella figured it would be alright.   
“See you soon,” she said, walking behind Ingram and waving at Shaun.  
  
Mama Murphy was taking her morning walk near the bridge. She greeted them both with her usual eerie smile, but she took Stella’s hands in hers. “We have to go,” Ingram insisted.   
“Just a second,” Mama whispered. “Stella, love, you must let go of the past. I saw...”  
“What did you see, Mama Murphy?” Stella asked. She was unsure about this Sight of hers, but it often turned out to be somewhat real.   
“You just have to follow the sign,” Mama Murphy explained slowly. “You’ll know when you see it. It’ll be purple. And very sweet. I can’t say more, love. Goodbye.”   
And then she was gone, taking heavy steps. Ingram raised an eyebrow.   
“I guess I should have believed you when you told me about her, Austin,” she said. “Let’s go, we’re late. Does she do that often?”   
“No,” Stella replied. “But if you find anything purple you let me know, okay?”   
Ingram laughed, lifting the mood a little.   
  
They were heading directly south, where a vertibird was waiting for them. Stella risked a last glance at Sanctuary before leaving. Shaun was kneeling to hug Dogmeat, but Danse was still watching them. She couldn’t believe she was going back on the Prydwen.   
  
But she were. When they reached the vertibird, the two soldiers awaiting them formally saluted her but she greeted them back. She climbed the last, sitting in front of Ingram.   
When they took off, she saw Sanctuary from their location, but it was very small and she couldn’t make out anybody.   
Keeping her hands on her knees, Stella avoided Ingram’s stare—she knew they were going to have an unpleasant conversation, but right now was not the right time.   
  
The right time turned out to be when the bird was attached to the ship and Ingram took her to a deserted part of the flight deck.   
“Austin,” she said. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”  
Like what? Shit. Was it that obvious that she was with Maxson during the party?  
“Elder Maxson offered me your job last night,” Ingram went on. “He looked like he was really pissed because you weren’t at his little party. I mean, the man had a chair made for you and all. Then you show up in a, um, lovely outfit and you both disappear for the rest of the night. You know.”  
“Did someone see us?” Stella asked, putting her hands over her red face, mortified.  
“You mean you did it? I thought maybe it was something else but you actually did it?”   
Ingram, always in her power armor for obvious reasons, was much taller than her. Stella looked up to read her eyes. She had grown fond of this woman and the feeling seemed to be mutual. They often spent evenings together drinking vodka and mutfruit juice cocktails. Actually, Stella had missed that the most when she was on leave. And, above all, she trusted her with her biggest secrets: Shaun and Danse.   
“Well I hope it was worth it, dear,” Ingram said. “He’s gone.”   
“What do you mean he’s gone?”   
“I mean Elder Maxson is gone. Not forever but. Left early this morning for the Citadel. From what I’ve heard—and I wasn’t supposed to hear that, he was talking with Kells—Elder Maxson has been expected there to do some Elder stuff for a while. He was waiting for you to be here so you could be in charge. He’ll be back in a week, apparently.”   
Stella didn’t know what kind of look she had on her face, but Ingram offered her a gentle pat on her back with her heavily armored arm.   
“You were a total babe though,” the Proctor said. “Later you have to tell me where you found that dress.”   
  
Okay. So Maxson was gone for a week. Was it true? That he had been supposed to go? Or was he just avoiding her?   
Not that Stella blamed him. She hadn’t been exactly nice to him. Oh, he absolutely deserved it, but still. Not that it had stopped him from fucking her raw in his command center.   
She followed Ingram inside the ship. Every single person they were seeing saluted her. Stella wasn’t feeling good. She hadn’t slept much and she’d drank a lot last night.   
She hurriedly locked herself in her quarters and sat down on her bed. She had emptied the room of Danse’s belongings and left them in a suitcase in Sanctuary. Danse didn’t even know it was there, but when she felt he was ready, she’d give everything back to him.   
She lied down and looked at the ceiling while she was trying to make sense of everything.   
It didn’t have to be such a big deal, right? Arthur had been troubled by their encounter last night. She did, after all, point a gun to his head and seriously threatened to kill him right before they hatefucked. Or not exactly hatefuck, just, well, no. Hatefuck.   
She fell asleep. But thankfully, she didn’t dream.   
  
A knock on her door woke Stella up. Startled, she accidentally hit her head on the wall. When it knocked again, she put her hair back into place and straightened up.   
“Yes?” she called.  
“Sentinel Austin,” Captain Kells’ voice said on the other side of her door. “Ma’am, we need you in the command center to approve a couple of operations.”   
“I’ll be right there, Kells. Thanks.”   
She stood and looked into the mirror to make sure she kind of looked like a Sentinel. She didn’t, but she never had anyway. She went out.   
Kells was waiting for her in the command center with Jones and Rhys. _Ugh_. Jones was a Sergeant now and loved himself even more. Rhys was Rhys, basically a pile of nonchalance and rudeness. All three saluted her, but Jones had an mysterious smile that could only be a bad omen, and she didn’t need Mama Murphy’s mentats to figure that one out.   
“Sentinel Austin,” Rhys started. “I’ve got a team ready to go back to Cambridge now. But some ferals are invading the area, so I’m just asking for permission to take an additional vertibird to give them a solid aerial attack.”   
Rhys and Jones were constantly exchanging looks. Stella closed her fists and breathed deeply.   
“Sure,” she said. “Approved.” Anything to get at least one of them out of her sight.   
Kells authorized the second vertibird over the radio, and Rhys left, but she was certain she heard him laugh as he closed the door behind him.   
  
“Sentinel,” Jones smiled at her. “Welcome back. Crazy night it was, am I right?” Kells laughed at this, shaking his head, mentioning he hadn’t had that much wine in at least five years.   
“Crazy night indeed,” Stella managed, but all she could hear was a voice in her head screaming HE KNOWS. Somehow Jones always seemed to _know_.   
“What did you need me for, Jones?” she asked.   
“There’s a lot of raider activity in Concord,” Jones explained. “Everywhere. They mostly come out at night, but usually not at all. They stay in the sewers.”  
Concord. That was awfully, terribly close to Sanctuary.   
“Kells, what is your advice on that?” She wasn’t sure what to do.   
“Depends how dangerous they are. Jones?”  
“They don’t seem to be _raiding_ ,” Jones pointed out. “They’re just there. Maybe waiting for something.”  
“We can’t afford waiting,” Stella decided. “There are civilians in that area. Loads of them. I’m not risking their life. I want five vertibirds on them, with two standing by in case. Jones, you lead the attack.”   
If things turned ugly, she’d have to get Shaun out of there.   
She dismissed Jones and walked to the upstairs area of the command center. She leaned over the railing to look through the widows, but it soon became clear she couldn’t stay still. She walked to the main deck and assisted Ingram with some basic maintenance, and sorted ammo for Teagan, and cleaned the mess hall floor. Everybody was trying to stop her—after all, those weren’t chores for a Sentinel, they said—but it was much better than doing nothing at all.   
  
Late that night, Stella was sorting screws when Jones’ teams came back. She was relieved to learn everything had gone smoothly. Most soldiers were showering at the airport now, Jones told her.   
She nodded and went back at what she was doing, though she felt sleepy now that she knew Shaun was safe.   
Jones didn’t leave. He shifted his weight and leaned over the table she was sitting at.  
“You need anything else, Jones?” She didn’t even look at him.   
“Well, now that you ask, ma’am Sentinel, maybe,” he answered. “I was wondering what kind of deal you were looking into. You know. What I get in exchange for keeping your secret.”  
A handful of screws fell from Stella’s hands and she finally turned to Jones. He had a stupid smug expression on his face.   
“I think you didn’t keep my secret at all,” she replied. She knew what he meant. There was no need for bullshit here. “What about Rhys?”  
“He knows because he was with me,” Jones explained with a voice he might have used to talk about the weather. “He really liked it. Poor bastard pretended he felt sick and just left, but I know he was somewhere in a corner emptying his balls in his own hand. Not that I didn’t want to do the same, Sentinel. You are an absolutely delightful woman.”   
  
That was enough. Hell, that was too much, way too much. Stella stood from the chair she’d been sitting on and grabbed Jones by his collar. He burst into laughter as she pushed him against the wall, which infuriated her even more. She gave an additional push, hitting the back of his head on the wall. Good.   
“Do you want me to cut your dick off?” she groaned. “I’m gonna do it.”  
“I could literally tell you to do nasty stuff for me, and you’d have to do it because otherwise I’d tell everybody you’re the Elder’s personal slut,” Jones said, his smile gone. “But I won’t. You make me Paladin, make Rhys Sergeant, and we’re even.”   
“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do that. You’re an idiot, Jones, but even _you_ have to know I don't have that kind of power.”   
“You could, let’s say, strongly advise Elder Maxson to give me a new rank,” Jones pointed out. “Y’know. Maybe not while he’s balls deep inside your pretty little pink mouth, though.”   
Stella closed her fist, raised it and punched Jones right in the face. No hesitation or second thoughts. She just did it. He was probably not expecting so much strength from her, so it took him by surprise. However, he quickly recovered, and even if his upper lip had a cut on it and was starting to bleed, he freed himself from her and shoved Stella away.   
“You savage bitch,” he roared, spitting out blood.   
“You go complain to whoever you want, Jones. We’ll see what the Elder does.”   
She could see hatred in Jones’ eyes, but lust, too. She understood now. As if Maxson’s dick was some kind of magical wand, she was now important. She was now _desirable_. She was now the woman who shared the Elder’s bed.   
  
Or, well, that’s how people would imagine things. The reality was definitely not as shiny. They had fucked once, it had lasted less than ten minutes, and he had left the Commonwealth the next morning. Not romantic at all.   
  
“If you tell anybody,” Stella threatened, “I’m going to hurt you, Jones. Bad. Do you understand that?” Jones, his chin red with blood, turned around and left without saying a word. Stella considered the screws, half of them not sorted, but still decided to go to bed. She knew she wouldn’t sleep because she was fuming, but she couldn’t risk crossing paths with Jones or Rhys tonight or she wasn’t sure she could stop herself at just one punch in the face.   
She stormed into her quarters and closed the door behind her. She let herself fall into her bed and sighed.   
Stella was in a bad situation. She didn’t know how much harm this could cause her, or Arthur. Could he be compromised as Elder if people found out? She didn't know if he was allowed to have that kind of relationship.   
But since there was no way Jones or Rhys could actually prove what they had seen, it was probably going to be okay. Right? Right. And she got to punch Jones in the face, so it wasn’t all bad.   
  
The next days, she made sure to avoid the two idiots, and simply gave her instructions to Kells who was relaying them. And Stella made a point of sending both of them as far away as possible of the Prydwen. She was relieved when the opportunity of sending them away for several days came up. They were going to help re-establishing the outpost near the Glowing Sea. She actually stood on the flight deck as their vertibird was leaving. Good riddance.   
  
Stella counted the days she would be on duty as commander of the Prydwen before Maxson came back. She didn’t hate the job or anything, but it was a little boring. She preferred being on the field. Shooting stuff. Or even building and fixing stuff. She did try making herself as useful as she could. She cleaned loads of things and spent a lot of time with the two squires on board. The two kids were amazing, really, except for the part where they were being brainwashed. It did, however, made her understand a lot of things about Maxson, considering he'd been raised the exact same way.  
  
One night, after being done cleaning the empty mess hall, she walked to her quarters, yawning.  
Just tonight, and tomorrow, and another night, and she’d be with Shaun again. Stella couldn’t wait. One of the squires was getting out of her room as she was approaching. The little girl turned bright red and tried running away, but Stella caught her with no true effort.   
“Squire Laurie! What are you doing?” she asked.   
“I—I can’t say,” young Laurie replied.   
Stella turned her head to look into the room. Everything seemed alright and normal, except for the huge bouquet of flowers that was sitting on her desk.  
“What’s that?” Stella insisted.  
“I’m so sorry, Sentinel,” Laurie apologized, tearing up. “He said, he told me to wait until you couldn’t see me, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Am I thrown out of the Brotherhood, ma’am?”  
  
Taking Laurie’s tiny hand into hers, Stella walked into her quarters, closing the door behind them both. She told Laurie to sit down and looked more closely at the flowers.   
For post-war flowers, they were very pretty, though she couldn’t name them. They were purple, and— Purple.   
“Somebody asked you to do this? To give me this?” Stella questioned. “Laurie, please, tell me.”  
“Yes, ma’am. He showed me where to get those flowers and gave me a vase to put them in.”   
“Who did that?”  
“Elder Maxson, ma’am. He said you liked flowers. He told me I had to go down to the airport, and next to the eastern building, there’s a patch of grass with those on it. He said they were the prettiest flowers, and a Sentinel should _always_ get the prettiest flowers. He gave me the key to your quarters, but I swear I didn’t touch anything. I swear!”   
Stella touched the petals with the tip of her fingers. Mama Murphy. She was crazy, there was no doubt about that, but she could _see_ stuff.   
She dismissed Laurie, but thanked her by sharing one flower with her. Stella smelled the bouquet but didn’t catch any particular scent—which was very normal for radiated flowers.   
Was that the sign Mama Murphy had warned Stella about? That had to be it, right? And if so, what, now? What was she going to do? She wasn’t going to let herself fall in love with Maxson.   
But it was probably already too late.


	12. Tables / Honey cumshot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> arthur doesn't know how to flirt so he just does gifts instead. he's so serious all the time? help this boy. 
> 
> then, spoilers but bow chicka wow wow

 

Stella

 

 

It was about eleven at night when Stella finally entered her quarters after being done with her duties. The Elder would be back tomorrow morning and was expecting a detailed report on this last week’s activities and missions. Or so Kells had informed her, because Maxson hadn’t had enough nerve to actually speak to her before leaving.   
She stretched her aching neck and stripped off her armor. She’d been sitting in front of a terminal for way too long. yet she was still exhausted and didn't feel like sitting anymore.  
Stella looked at the flowers on her desk and sighed. She couldn’t be more confused. She had thought deeply about that—a simple gesture, but not empty of meaning. Even if Mama Murphy hadn’t mentioned the purple sign or whatever, Stella would have been stunned by this gift. And just as bewildered.   
A drink. She needed a drink. Or five.  
After putting on some casual clothes, Stella went back to the mess hall. It was empty at this time of the night, except for Ingram and Teagan. Both seemed to be having a discussion about work, but two full glasses of liquor were sitting in front of them.   
  
“Hey,” Stella said, walking behind the counter to find a bottle and a glass for herself. “Mind if I join you?”   
“Absolutely not, Sentinel,” Teagan replied with a smile. “I must say, it was refreshing to have you aboard as the commander. Pleasant. But let’s not tell Elder Maxson that.”  
He raised his glass and drank from it. He wasn’t the first to compliment her like that. Several Sergeants had done the same, and even Knight-Captain Cade. They said, having somebody who can both give orders and smile was definitely a good thing for morale. Stella had to admit it was humbling. She didn’t think she would be good at her job.   
“Thanks, Teagan. Don’t forget, I meant it when I said I would take your place if you wanted a day off.”  
“Isn’t she sweet?” Ingram gushed.   
And so Stella stayed with them and they had a few drinks together. She liked most people here. Some she considered her friends.   
After the bottle had considerably less liquor in it, they’d been louder, of course, and some other soldiers had joined them. Some of them in their pyjamas, some still in their armor after finishing a late shift. Then someone brought a radio and put some music on, and people actually started dancing.   
  
Stella, at first, watched from a distance. She knew she should be putting an end to this. That kind of things just weren’t allowed. But, it was so relieving to see those soldiers laughing and enjoying themselves. And she was feeling somewhat happy, and playful, for the first time in a while. She’d be seeing her son tomorrow, and if everything went as planned, they’d go fishing with Danse. She’d done a marvellous job as a Sentinel, and she’d be back to support her soldiers. Maybe it was the moonshine that made her feel this way, but it was exhilarating. That finally, things were going well in the world, at least for a little while.   
  
It didn’t take long before Teagan asked her for a dance. She accepted, mostly because she wanted to see the old Proctor dance at all. He and Paladin Brandis danced with her at once, which made a lot of people laugh. They were awful.  
When she got close to a table, she just couldn’t help herself. Hopping on the table, she sent a few glasses to the floor when she began dancing rather sensually on said table. She did get everyone's attention to her, though, and people applauded, while some climbed on other tables. College all over again.   
Just now, Stella felt beautiful, and comfortable in her body. It was a rare thing, because she usually didn’t think about that stuff. But tonight, she was _sexy_. Her shorts showed her legs, and she’d always liked them. In the midst of all the dancing, she’d felt a little warm and undone a few buttons on her shirt and that was definitely helping getting her all this attention.   
She might regret it tomorrow in the morning, but, _fuck it_.  
  
Stella realized the music had stopped, but her body stopped dancing a few seconds later. She opened her eyes, and from her high spot, saw Arthur standing in the door frame, not mad, but livid and shocked. His eyes were on her. Stella’s face turned red and hot, and she jumped off the table.   
“Elder Maxson,” she started. “I—it’s—” She wanted to tell him it wasn’t their fault, but she was a little too drunk to put the right words in the right order.   
“Sentinel Austin,” Maxson said with a unsympathetic voice. “I see things are going... well. Follow me. I want to have a word with you.” He turned to the crowd behind her. “Go get some sleep,” he added. “Dismissed, soldiers.”   
  
He led the way and Stella followed him, embarrassed. Instead of the command center, he went for his own quarters, opened the door, let her in and closed the door behind him. And then locked it.   
Maxson turned to her with an expression on his face Stella couldn’t read. But she found herself wishing he would pin her to the wall and kiss her hard. And fuck her.   
He didn’t.   
  
“You know that kind of behavior is absolutely unacceptable, Austin,” he said. “Do you?”  
She did know. “Elder, I’m so sorry,” she replied. “But please. Don’t punish them. It’s all me.”  
Maxson nodded. Stella could barely stand up, so she grabbed a metal bar on a wall and held on to it. She was not going to fall down in front of him.   
“I thought you were coming back tomorrow morning...” she whispered.   
“It is tomorrow morning. It’s three past midnight. So here I am. Go back to your quarters, sleep and sober up. We’ll deal with that later today.”  
There was a long silence during which Stella couldn’t even look at him.   
“I liked them a lot” she said. “The flowers.”   
  
Stella found her way to her quarters and fell asleep almost as soon as she climbed into her bed. She was too drunk to dream, and that was comforting.   
  


*

  
  
Stella woke up on her own the next morning. She immediately looked at her pip-boy and realized it was past eleven. She had told Shaun to expect her at any time of the day, but that she’d do her best to come back in the morning.   
She had a mild headache, but didn’t need to run to a toilet to throw up. She had never been the kind of person to have hangovers, or throw up at all. Except when she’d been pregnant. She did, however, miss acetaminophen. She’d have to drink one of those disgusting herbal teas Cade mixed up. _That_ might get her to throw up. He did make some delicious ones, but usually, the ones with medicinal properties tasted like garbage. Or actual vomit.   
  
With a long sigh, Stella got out of bed and gathered some clothes she put in a bag. After a long look for the purple flowers, she walked to the med bay where she asked Cade for one of his concoctions. He infused two—one for her and one for him. She thanked him and went to reach the flight deck. Ugh. He was there, Maxson. In the command center, having a discussion with Kells. He didn’t see her, or pretended not to. She didn’t know if she was disappointed or not.   
Anyway, this tea was gross.  
Stella chugged it all while the vertibird was descending to the airport. She thanked the pilot and asked him to take her mug back in the Prydwen, then made her way to the showers.   
It was getting considerably fresher. It would be her first post-war winter and she didn’t know what to expect. From what she’d heard, there was some snow sometimes. She was hoping she would build snowmen with Shaun and all that stuff. Maybe he would like it, or maybe it would be too juvenile for him. After all, he much preferred working on her or Danse’s power armor and their weapons than playing games.   
  
It was late for showers and nobody was there. Stella went for the one in the corner of the large bathroom. It was all white and actually beautiful. She was proud of what the soldiers had built, they were making good progress. And _showers_. With hot water.  
Stella activated the shower with the password on the terminal and jumped in. People on the ship, brilliant people and Stella adored them, had come up with a recipe for some sort of soap-shampoo. Well, it was nothing like pre-war bath products, but it smelled like fruit and flowers, and she felt clean after using it. As Sentinel, she had the privilege of having limitless access to the soap and showers and everything, and she abused it. Whenever she could.   
The disgusting tea was starting to work and her head felt a little less heavy.   
  
When she was done, she turned the water off and rolled a towel, well, a large white cloth around her body and got out of the shower.   
Maxson was at the opposite end of the room, his back leaned on the wall, arms crossed over his chest. She jumped when she saw him but repressed the need to hit him. She hated when people scared her like that.   
“What the fuck!” she yelled. “What the fucking—ugh!”   
Groaning, she turned her back to him and deactivated the shower with the terminal. She heard his footsteps behind, but the pumping of her heart was louder.   
“It’s a women’s bathroom in here, sir,” she pointed out, still not looking at him.   
“I’m the Elder, I make the rules,” he replied. “You take long showers, Austin. You know the average should be seven to ten minutes. You’ve been in there at least twenty.”  
“Does that mean I’m in trouble for last night? The party?”  
“I’ve decided to forget that incident as long as it doesn’t happen again, Austin.”  
  
She turned her heels and faced him. He was so goddamn tall. And he must have shaved during his trip—he still had a beard but it was a little more neat. Ugh.   
“I, um, well, Sergeant Jones’ team just came back,” Maxson announced. “His face, it’s pretty fucked up. His mouth. Needed stitches apparently. But the injury happened _before_ he left, according to Cade’s reports.”  
“Ah. Really?”  
Maxson raised an eyebrow. “You don’t happen to know anything about that, Austin?”  
“Well, I mean,” Stella started. “He absolutely deserved it. You would have done the same, Elder.”  
“I probably would have done worse,” he sighed.  
Stella decided to move away from him. She reached the locker where she’d left her clothes and opened it, but Maxson had followed her.   
“He knows?” Maxson asked.  
“Yes. And Rhys too.”  
Another sigh. He sat on a large bench next to the lockers. Stella wanted to go get dressed, but she also didn’t want to. She could see his eyes shifting to her body. She liked it.   
Stella stood in front of him when she was done brushing her hair. Her skin was still wet and hot from the shower.   
“What’s going to happen now, Austin?” Maxson asked.   
“I don’t know,” she admitted. She couldn’t imagine in her head that she would ever commit in a relationship with a man that hated her son and had broken her best friend’s heart. But there she was, longing for him. Right now. “I’m going to put some clothes on,” she painfully added.  
He nodded and she locked herself in a shower unit without turning the water on. She hastily dressed up and used the cloth to dry her hair as much as she could. When she went back into the bathroom, Maxson was waiting for her, still.   
  
They walked out and she shivered in the cold air. He noticed it and it looked like he wanted to make a move—probably give her his coat—but most likely decided it was better not to. Instead, they hurried up back to the vertibird, where he took her to his quarters. They did get some stares from that, but at least it was lunchtime and most of the Prydwen was half empty. Besides, Maxson often had visitors in his quarters—Kells and Cade, or anyone really.   
“Sit down,” he said. “I have something for you.”  
He was pointing his bed. She would have gone for one of the chairs, but went for the bed.  
“Close your eyes and open your mouth,” he went on. “Just do it! It’s not sex stuff, Austin, it’s food,” he added when he saw her puzzled look.   
Food? Stella was all about food. Not that anything tasted really good anymore. She closed her eyes and followed Maxson’s instructions.  
There was some noise in the room, then a spoon was softly put into her mouth. She closed her lips around it and tasted. It was a liquid matter, but very thick. She tasted the sweetness first, and then the flavor.   
“Honey,” she purred, her mouth still full of the stuff. “Holy shit, it’sh honey!”  
  
Opening her eyes, Stella saw Maxson holding a large jar of golden honey, smiling.  
“That still exists?” she said excitedly after swallowing it. “Why don’t we have some here?”  
Maxson’s smile widened and he gave her the jar so she could take another spoonful of it, which she immediately did. It didn’t taste quite like pre-war honey, but it was honey all the same, and it was fantastic. Real, tasty food.   
Maxson also had a spoon for himself, so he kneeled and they shared some honey.  
“It’s more rare here, and it’s difficult to harvest,” he explained. “But the Citadel has some. It’s quite uncommon. I brought back two jars. They’re yours, Austin. I know you’ll want to give some to... you know. People. I figured you would like it. That it would remind you of your life before.”  
He gestured towards his desk where another jar waited for her. She was thankful he didn’t say Shaun’s name, but that was exactly what she was going to do: have her son tasting honey as soon as she was back in Sanctuary.   
  
“Thanks,” she said sincerely, closing the lid on the jar after taking a last spoonful.  
She slid the spoon between her lips and sucked on it, Maxson on his knees in front of her, his gaze fixated on her mouth. Stella was staring at him back, his lips glistening with sweet honey.   
She didn’t know how it happened, but in less than a second the spoon was out of her mouth and thrown on the floor, and Maxson’s mouth was on hers for a hungry kiss. Then, he softly licked the honey on the corner of her lips. Stella closed her eyes.   
“I know we shouldn’t,” he breathed against her face. “I know you hate me, Austin, but, fuck—you’re just—”  
Stella bit her lip and moved her fingers through his thin hair. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against her hand.  
“I thought a lot about what you told me while I was gone,” he admitted, his voice low and hushed. “That I’m just a king with a crown that’s too heavy for my shoulders, for my spine.”  
“Arthur—”  
“No, wait,” he insisted, his lips now kissing her palm. “You’re right. I was thrown into this position and it mostly has to do with my family name. Maybe I wasn’t ready. I knew somebody who was probably more suited than I will ever be, but she died. I have the crown now. And I’m sorry it has ever put itself between us. I did what I honestly thought was best for the Commonwealth.”  
Maxson’s hands were firmly grabbing her hips. Stella lowered her own hands and pulled his face on hers to kiss him, but he turned his head away. He wasn’t done.   
“Stella,” he continued. “I don’t think there’s anyone but you who I would want to help me carry that crown.”   
Then, Stella knew her heart had lost the war against his.   
They kissed again, deeply. His mouth tasted like honey. He shrugged his coat off and kissed her neck, then her shoulder. She moaned, biting her lip. She had never felt this way when anybody was touching her. It was like thousands of electric shocks in her body.   
Maxson took off her shirt, kindly. She hadn’t put a bra on, because she secretly had wished this was how their conversation would turn out. He kissed her breasts, then sucked on a nipple while he was pinching the other between this fingers. Still sitting on the bed, Stella opened her legs to let him settle between them. She couldn’t wait.   
“Arthur,” she breathed. “Just take me, just fuck me. Please, Arthur. _Elder_.”  
Something changed when she called him by his title, but he didn’t take her just then. Instead, he slipped her pants down, and her underwear, and kissed her naked thighs. He didn’t seem to mind her stretch marks and her scars, or the hair for that matter. Fully shaved legs weren't as common now, and Stella was just getting used to it.   
He softly pushed her so she would be leaning on the wall, but not quite horizontally. Stella closed her eyes at this point, making efforts not to scream because, after all, people would hear them.  
  
Maxson’s warm fingers tickled her thighs up to her pussy, already wet and aching for him. He touched her there, very delicately, as if he just wanted to feel her. She opened her eyes just in time to see him lick his finger, taste her, and bury his face between her legs.  
She felt his beard first, rough and coarse against her skin. Then, his tongue reached her soaking hole, and she shuddered. He was very slow at first, and it became obvious to Stella he had probably never done this before. But it didn’t matter, and it was still so fucking good to feel him down there. He started licking, his tongue reaching surprisingly deep into her, deep enough to make her moan and roll her hips.  
It took a little while but he found her clit. A cry escaped her mouth and she grabbed his hair, closing her legs around his shoulders. He sucked on her clit, licked it eagerly, always with one or two fingers sliding in and out of her. He was inexperienced and cautious, but he was good.   
  
And Stella loved the way she felt just now, or the way she’d felt when he had taken her in the command center. Abandon, bliss, no inhibitions. She felt like he was hers and she was his, and like it was right. Not many things made sense, but somehow, this did. Even with all the things that had put themselves between them, starting by two hundred years, and the Institute, and their loved ones, but the world felt right when Arthur Maxson was fucking her.   
She pulled on his hair, lifting his head, and she dragged him over her to kiss him. His lips were covered with her own juices, slippery but somehow still sticky with honey. She bit him, hard, and he moaned, undoing his armor and throwing it away.   
As much as she wanted him inside her, Stella slowed down a little and positioned him so he would be sitting on the edge of the bed. It was her turn, now.  
  
Stella put her face over Maxson’s hard cock—a beautiful thing to look at. Kind of long, but more impressive in girth, it was waiting for her. She looked up into Maxson’s eyes, a smile on her face, then she wrapped her lips around the tip of his erection. He whimpered, but didn’t break eye contact. She gently brought her tongue against his cock, but only the head for now, and sucked him off while she licked him in random circular motions and stroke him with one hand. His eyes were already rolling in the back of his head, so before it was too late, Stella waited for him to look into her eyes again, and she took all of him in her mouth. Or almost, which was already a lot and made her tear up from choking. She forced herself not to gag, and Maxson tentatively gave a gentle thrust. And another. And another. Stella was still moving her head and her mouth around him, feeling him hardening against her tongue. He tasted like salt and metal. He seemed to like it when she moaned, so she did it a lot, but none of it was faked.   
  
Soon enough, he had his hand in her hair, his grip solid but not violent, and was fucking her mouth good. He moaned every time his cock hit the back of her throat, but they never broke eye contact. When he let her go, Stella knew it was because he wanted to fuck her pussy, too. She took a couple seconds to swallow the saliva and pre-cum that had started dripping out of her mouth, but before he could react, she climbed onto him and guided his cock inside her wet, craving hole.  
  
The bed was almost louder than they were. Squeaking and banging the wall. Only Stella couldn’t help riding him hard, sometimes kissing him, sometimes Maxson burying his face in her tits. She loved seeing those flames in his eyes—he never had such a stare except for when they were together. And even though his cock was big and filled her up so good, it was the way he looked at her that aroused her the most.  
He kind of looked angry, but as she was going up and down on his cock, he surprised her by slapping her ass. Maxson also looked like he had surprised himself, but when he did it again, harder, Stella realized she loved the lingering burn it did. She had _never_ been into that kind of stuff, but she begged Arthur to do it again, and again, until her ass throbbed with pain.   
“You look so fucking beautiful when you fuck, Austin,” he said in her ear after dragging her face close to his. “I’m gonna come on your beautiful doll face.”  
Arthur sounded like he’d thought those words in his mind before, but never actually said them. His lack of experience was largely compensated by the size of his cock and the way he _tried_ to mean the things he said and did. Tried so hard it barely showed he was insecure.  
  
He lifted Stella and they rolled so he would be on top of her, making it look easy. He pinned her down to the mattress, her arms over her head, and he fucked her almost aggressively. Balls banging on her still painful ass, his hands holding her wrists so tight it would probably leave marks, and, above all else, his voice in her ears.   
“Stella, I fucking love your pussy” he whispered to her, out of breath. “It’s so fucking good. You’re so fucking tight. You’re so fucking wet.”  
“Arthur,” she panted. The sound of his cock coming in and out of her was exhilarating. She managed to free one of her arm and took his face firmly in her hand. He didn’t fight it. “Make me come right now,” she told him. “Then, my face is yours.”  
He moaned and kissed her hard, his tongue stirring in her mouth. Arthur Maxson was definitely a jerk and needed his morality checked up, but he was something to look at. When he was fucking her, his face seemed to lose the stiffness of his military life, and he was _beautiful_. She could see his muscles flexing when he fucked her harder. It still tasted like honey in her mouth.   
  
And then, she saw stars. Arthur raised one of her legs up to fuck her deeper and she came almost instantly, biting into the pillow so she wouldn’t alert anybody. She could feel the sheets getting wet under her ass, juices dripping on her thighs, and Stella just let go. The orgasm lasted a while, but as soon as she was done, Arthur pulled out and she saw his cock, rock hard and covered in her cum, a view that sent an electric shock between her legs even if she just had an orgasm a second earlier. She kneeled as quickly as she could on the bed and sucked him off starting at the base of his cock, giving some attention to his balls, then licked back up before taking all of him in her mouth. He shuddered and she raised her eyes on him. She was going to give him something to think about while she was gone.   
She worked on him less than ten seconds before he pulled out to unload his cock on her demanding mouth, moaning. He had a second burst of cum and shot a little more on her breasts. He watched her as she licked some off while he stroked his excessively sensitive cock.   
Stella reached for his face then and kissed him so he could taste himself. He remained rigid at first, until he opened his mouth and played with her tongue. After wiping his mess up like a proper gentleman, he took Stella’s body against his and laid them both down on the bed.   
  
With Arthur holding her like that, out of breath, her head resting somewhere between his shoulder and his chest, Stella could almost pretend everything was okay. She could almost pretend she loved this man, that they had normal lives.   
He was playing with her hair. Nicely, softly   
Arthur Maxson the lover and Arthur Maxson the Elder were basically two different people, and Stella had no difficulty telling which one she liked the most. Except, they both existed in the same body and were pretty much mutually exclusive. And Arthur Maxson the Elder was not going to give up on his ideals for her. And she wouldn’t do it for him either. So they could keep fucking all they wanted, nothing good would ever come out of this. Anyway, Arthur would need to settle soon, you know, the usual—find a nice girl, marry or her something, and continue the Maxson family tree. Make sure the name wouldn’t disappear.   
  
One thing was sure though, when all of that would happen, Stella would be far away from this place.  
“I have to go,” she whispered. “I’m already late.”  
Maxson breathed in and jumped a little—he must have been falling asleep. She lifted her head to see his face.   
Stella almost felt like he was going to ask her to stay, but he nodded.   
“When does Kells have you coming back on the ship?” he asked.  
“In four days.” Stella paused, sitting on the mattress, made temporarily speechless by the view of Arthur Maxson completely naked, post-sex cock still slightly hard. “See you, Elder.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, i'm not done writing this particular work but i'm already working on something else. like an AU for this???
> 
> in our reality?  
> boston 2016.   
> it won't take itself too seriously (like this present work) but i do want to work on the same characters, just in a world where they're not burdened with a huge war and like, you know, nuclear radiation and stuff like that. anyway. maybe it's just another excuse to write more maxson x f!ss. :)))))))) who knows!!!!!!!!!!!! :))) anyway i'll post it on here so you'll see eventually. there will be more characters as i want to include my loves, the railroad babes and more companions idk???
> 
> i also realy want to thank everyone who's reading this and leaving comments or love. i know i'm not like the bestest ever and i really appreciate that you take some time for me. i love u xxx


	13. A deal, a promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stella has serious conversations with both danse and maxson

 

Stella

 

 

 

The sun was setting down when Stella finally approached Sanctuary. On foot, as always, since she had forbidden any vertibird to ever come near her home.  
She was tired. She needed to sleep a long, long time.  
Holding her flowers in one hand and keeping her bag on her shoulder, Stella passed the fence Sturges was working on, and she was home.  
It appeared to be dinner time, and most people were in the middle of Sanctuary, near the big maple tree. A breeze brought the familiar scent of Preston’s stag and vegetable stew, forcing a smile on Stella’s face.

“Mom!” Shaun shouted when he saw her. He dropped his bowl, which was immediately stolen by Dogmeat, and ran to her. Stella kneeled to meet his height and held her son tight. He smelled like a forest, and his skin was warm with delight.  
“Hey Shaun,” she smiled. “How are you? Things have been good?”  
“I missed you a little, but everybody kept me really busy with so much stuff,” Shaun replied. “Mac and Cait taught me how to shoot with a pistol, Preston told me all about the Minutemen, Danse took me on a hike—”  
Stella looked at Cait over Shaun’s shoulder. “Shooting?” she mouthed. “He’s like, ten!”  
MacCready blushed a little, but Cait shrugged it off. _Anyway. I guess, in a world like this one, it’s better to know how to use a gun,_ Stella thought.  
Shaun took her hand and walked her to the house they shared, eager to show her a mod he had built for her favorite rifle.  
It was a little dark inside, so she lit a few lanterns and set the flowers and the vase on the counter. When she looked behind her, she saw Shaun holding a nice scope, and Danse in the door frame. He looked at the flowers, then at her, then at Shaun, and at her again. Stella felt heat spreading on her face.  
“Look, mom!” Shaun said. “I hope you’ll like it!”  
“It’s amazing, Shaun,” Stella answered, smiling as naturally as she could. “I also have something for you. Hi, Danse.”  
“Hello, Austin,” he replied. “How did it go?”  
“It’s a little more boring than I expected it to be. But it was just fine.”  
She found the jar of honey she had for Shaun, and gave it to him with a spoon. He looked at her, curious.  
“What’s that?” he asked, opening the lid.  
“Well, that’s honey. Do you know what honey is?”  
“Oh! Yes, at least, it’s been put in my memories. But I don’t know what it tastes like.”  
Shaun took a big spoonful of the stuff and tried it. He lit instantly and a big grin appeared on his face. He declared it was the best thing he had ever tasted in his entire life and the others _had_ to try it too. He ran out with a bunch of spoons after kissing Stella’s cheek and leaving it sticky with honey.

She went out too, but in the backyard where they kept water. She kneeled, dipped a cloth in a bucket of water and cleaned her face.  
“That’s Citadel honey,” Danse said behind her. “It’s rare.”  
“Yes, that’s why I gave it to Shaun.” Stella rose and turned around. Danse seemed rather sad, or disappointed, or both. “And yes, Arthur gave it to me. And he gave me the flowers too. That doesn’t mean I forgot what he’s done.”  
Danse came closer to her and raised his hand. Stella jumped, fearing he was going to hit her, but he just pushed her hair to show her neck and her chest. He frowned, and when he was done inspecting her arms as well, he was livid.  
“He’s hurting you,” Danse pointed out. “Austin—Stella. He’s hurting you.”  
Stella sighed. She didn’t want to be having this conversation right now. Danse was extremely oblivious to anything sexual. The guy was definitely a virgin. Not that it was bad or stupid or anything, but could he understand?  
“It doesn’t hurt that much,” Stella replied. “And yeah, maybe it’s a little rough, but it’s because we both like it this way. I’ve seen worse.” She paused. “He doesn’t have a whole lot of experience.”  
Danse’s face turned bright red.  
Was she having the Sex Talk with a grown up man? Goddamnit. She was about to swear that no, he didn’t hit her, but that would have been a lie and her flushed butt cheek could prove it. And Danse didn’t need to know everything anyway.

Danse sat on one of the chairs around a wooden table she had built herself. He sighed heavily.  
“I won’t stop you from being with him, I can’t,” he whispered. “But can you answer me that question—do you love him, Austin? Does he make you _happy_?”  
It was her turn to sit down and turning red. Well, that was an interesting thought.  
“I never thought about that,” she admitted. “I didn’t want to, because it’s getting obvious that we’re not going to last. He's basically royalty as far as I understand. Right?”  
“And?”  
“And then… we can’t have a future! So I didn’t think about... love. Feelings. Besides, I hate him. For what he did to you, for how he hates Shaun and never even met him.”

Danse nodded and put his hands flat on the table, avoiding her eyes. “In the Citadel,” he explained, “honey is very uncommon and is usually a gift from the groom to the bride. Maybe he—Arthur—wanted to tell you something. From the very first time I’ve seen him with you, Austin, I think I knew he wanted you. You’re different, you’re from before the war. And… Elder Maxson is allegedly a perfect human specimen. I am sure they can say the same about you. Maybe you're even better. You two match together.”  
It was a lot to process, but it was essentially simple. “So... do you mean he just wants my pre-war ovaries and doesn’t really care about me?”  
“I can’t say that, Austin. I don’t know. This is just my way of warning you. You can probably find evidence of what I just told you in Cade's notes somewhere. But I strongly advise not to break into his locked drawers. That’s where he keeps his important reports, and it would be forbidden.”  
Had it been anybody other than Danse sitting in front of her and having this discussion with her, Stella would have immediately assumed they were lying. Or trying to piss her off. Because it was so big it couldn’t all be true.  
But it _was_ Danse, and the former Paladin never fucked around.

Ah, yes. The crippling, well-known feeling of a heart that’s breaking. The sun was hitting directly in Stella’s eyes by now, just before it would disappear down the horizon. Somewhere in Sanctuary, she heard laughs and Shaun’s voice, comforting and warm, warmer than the goddamn sun itself.  
Danse cleared his throat and reached for her hands from the opposite side of the table. His were surprisingly fresh.  
“Maybe all I meant to say, Austin,” he said, “is that you have to talk to Elder Maxson if you haven’t already.”  
“We did talk,” Stella admitted. “He told me he wanted me by his side to assist him with his duties.” He hadn’t used those words, but she wasn’t going to tell Danse they had called each other king and queen during sex—he was upset enough now that he knew it was a bit, uh, passionate.  
That didn’t help though. Maybe what Maxson had told her wasn’t true. The only thing Stella could really do was to wait four days, go back on the Prydwen as planned, and just talk with Arthur to get the truth out of him.

The next days were a little rough on Stella, but Danse was there to support her and she had all of her friends as well. But above all, she had Shaun. She took him fishing, just the both of them, one morning. They didn’t catch anything but Shaun loved it. He ate a lot of honey all the time and it would stick to his face and hair, and he was the most adorable little boy ever. There was one day with particularly cold weather, and Shaun really wanted to go on a hike again but wearing a coat. So she went with him and Danse, and they picnicked in an abandoned cabin. Shaun did seem excited about the possibility of snow, even though he had never seen such thing, and when Stella told him about snowmen he decided he wouldn’t just build a snowman, he would make a sculpture of Dogmeat out of snow. Thing is, the kid was definitely able to do it.

They spent the last day before her departure in Sanctuary though, eating honey with fruit and helping Sturges and the others with the fence. By the evening, she was exhausted, and Shaun was sleepy too. He went to bed early and she held him for a long time while he slept. Would he ever forgive her if she allowed herself to love a man who hated him?  
Could she ever convince Maxson that Shaun—and Danse—were humans too, just not the same as them?  
When it was time, Stella kissed Shaun’s forehead and went to her own bedroom to gather her things. She made sure to take her rifle with her, the one with the scope Shaun had made for her, and she went outside.  
She said her goodbyes and made her way to Danse who was waiting for her close to the fence. She wanted to talk to him but couldn’t find the proper words, so she just hugged him. He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head.  
“After all you’ve been through,” he told her, “you deserve to do whatever makes you happy. Just… be careful, soldier.”  
“I promise, Danse.” She squeezed his hand, forcing a smile out of him.

The vertibird was waiting for her about an hour away from Sanctuary, as usual. She had expected Ingram, but found no one but the pilot and her co-pilot. Well, maybe it was too late for her. After all, Ingram was probably the busiest person on the whole Prydwen.  
After making small talk with the Knights, they took off and had a pleasant night time flight to the airport. It was getting really cold, especially at night, and Stella regretted not dressing more appropriately. While the Brotherhood armors were all very comfortable and could keep a soldier either fresh or warm, they weren’t quite fitting for winter. It would definitely snow soon, Stella could smell it. She had loved snow before the war.  
Once they attached the bird to the ship, she thanked the pilots, pushed her bag on her shoulder and hurried inside just to escape the cruel wind.

It was pretty late by now and no one was there to greet her. Not that she cared all that much, but Stella wasn’t used to it.  
She heard laughs and some music coming from the mess hall. Still cold from being outside, Stella walked all the way there, clutching her weapon and her bag, and found a dozen people hanging out with drinks and some music.  
“What the hell?” she asked Teagan when they made eye contact.  
“Sentinel Austin!” he announced, raising his drink and saluting her at the same time. “Are we being too loud?”  
“No, I mean—you guys should just leave before Maxson finds out and we’re all in trouble.”  
Teagan shook his head. “Elder Maxson gave his approval,” he told her. “I asked him myself.”  
Stella repeated the words in her head, but since they didn’t seem to make much more sense, she frowned.  
“You mean Maxson—Arthur Maxson—gave you clearance for a party?”  
“It’s not a party!” Teagan pointed out. “I just said, Elder, you know, we’re all tensed, and it wouldn’t hurt to all hang out once in a while and just, relax. He said yes, as long as nobody dances on the tables. You know, Sentinel, things have changed in the past four days.”  
“Well, that’s obvious,” Stella sighed and went back to the hallway. She didn’t feel like being with everyone back there. She would have a drink on her own and sleep.

Her quarters were cold and silent. The bed was clean and smelled nice, and she found a bunch of fresh flowers in a mug full of water waiting on the desk. The flowers were small and white and very pretty.  
Stella put her head against the wall, listening to the other side of it. It appeared to be as quiet as it was in here, except for the occasional sound of fingers against keyboard. Maxson was typing something.  
She just wouldn’t sleep if he was right there on the other side of the wall and they hadn’t talked, so Stella got out of her own quarters to enter his after taking the flower mug with her. The door was unlocked and she opened it slowly.  
He was sitting in front of his terminal, his chair too small for him. He had a white t-shirt on and casual pants, and black socks.  
“Elder,” she said.  
Maxson looked over his shoulder. He was wearing thin, metallic eyeglasses—and they looked good on him. Made him look way more intellectual than he actually were.  
“Austin,” he replied, smiling. “Come in.”  
She closed the door behind her and locked it because she didn’t want to be interrupted. When she looked at him again, the glasses were on the desk and the terminal was turning itself off.  
“I didn’t mean to disturb you in your work,” she said.  
“Don’t worry about it.” Maxson got up and stretched his shoulders. “Ah, so you saw the flowers? I picked them myself. I thought they would bring some joy to your quarters.”  
When did he get so fucking nice?  
He came to her and delicately took one flower from the mug and gently put it in her hair. Stella’s heart started pumping the second his fingers brushed her hair.  
“Are your quarters too dull?” he asked while taking the mug from her and putting it on a table. “I can arrange something.”  
“No—no they’re fine. It’s okay.”

He gave her a timid smile and they just stood awkwardly in front of each other.  
Stella just wanted to ask him something like: _so, what are we?_ But it was a little more complicated than that.  
Maxson moved first—he looked like he wasn’t sure of what he was doing, but he ended up nestling her against him.  
“You’re freezing,” he sighed while Stella was too numb to say anything. “Come here.”  
He took her hand and made her sit on his bed, then he took the sheets and put them on her shoulders.  
“Better,” Maxson said, sitting next to her.

“How do you feel about me?” Stella immediately asked.  
That caught him off guard, but she didn’t know how to introduce the conversation, so she just went for it.  
“Do you care about me?” she went on.  
He looked at her, puzzled, a small frown forming between his brows. “What?”  
“I know I'm a fertile young woman with pre-war genetics,” Stella explained. “You know it too, because Cade knows it. I know that your genetics are also considered good. So I’m asking you what you’re after exactly.”  
Maxson was staring at her, his mouth slightly open.  
_“Who the hell told you that?”_ he asked her, angry.  
“I found out on my own.” She put her face in her hands. “Just tell me, Arthur,” she muttered into her palms.

There was a long, long pause. She could hear Maxson’s breathing, short and irritated. He got up—more like he jumped off the bed and directly went for a specific drawer of his desk from which he got a bottle of bourbon. It was already half empty, but he drank long gulps from it.  
“I am aware of the way we genetically match,” he said after a while, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “But that doesn’t mean I—that doesn’t mean that's what I’m after. When Knight-Captain Cade told me about you, my initial response was a solid no. I was not going to do… that.”  
“Oh.” was all Stella could manage, looking up to his face.  
Arthur appeared suddenly very shy, which made him look even younger. “Besides, you’ve made it very clear that you, well, you hate me,” he added. “You pointed a gun at me. Were you actually going to shoot me?”  
“Arthur, what would happen if I said that I wanted to be with you?” Stella took the bottle from his hand. He sat on the bed again, but closer. She was extremely aware of his leg touching hers. She drank.

He remained silent for several minutes. Or at least, it seemed that long to Stella. But she was appreciating it, the fact that he was putting some thought into it. It gave Stella some time to think about it too. She was almost bitter towards Danse—after all, he'd been the one to bring up the whole genetics thing to her, and raise her doubts. But she couldn't hold it against him. Because he had been right. Cade had pointed it out to Maxson, but Maxson had chosen to ignore it.

And that was the most difficult part. He was an asshole. He was unfair, and he could be straight up cruel. But he was also brave, and his soldiers looked up to him, and he had been so gentle to her. Even before they had sex for the first time—Stella couldn't forget the long nights where he was watching over her when the large wound on her side was still burning and hurting. He had made the pain go away. He had read books to her, had asked her about constellations, had held her hand. One time, she was bored out of her mind so he had just lifted her and walked her around the ship and to the flight deck just so she could breathe some fresh air.  
Arthur had also betrayed her, in the worst possible way. And when she had put a gun to his head, she had very much intended on pulling the trigger. She would have felt guilty for the rest of her life, but maybe, _maybe_ it would have been enough of a revenge. For Shaun. For Danse.  
But Arthur had fucked her against the railing in the command deck that night, and as he was shooting his seed deep inside her, Stella had been thinking about Nate. And all the wrongs she had done.  
Maxson wasn't perfect, he was the exact opposite of perfect, but the wasteland had turned her into a piece of shit. So maybe they were a match. A messed up match, but still.

“We would have to make it official,” Arthur said after a while.   
“You mean like _marriage_?”  
“Not necessarily at first, but at least make it public. I'm technically not allowed to have secret relationships.”  
Alright. Well that was something. Stella wasn't all about that public thing, but she did want to see Jones and Rhys' faces when the announcement would be made. She could taunt the fuck out of them. _Go to hell you little jerks, I'm sucking that Elder dick all right_.  
“That's not the important part though,” she quietly pointed out. “I have... a life outside this ship. What about it?”

Maxson breathed deeply and she handed him the bottle. He took it eagerly. She let him drink a little but took it back from him—she didn't want to be having this conversation with him if he was drunk out of his mind.  
“I'll pretend it doesn't exist,” he whispered. “It's the most I can do.”  
“You can do more than that. There's no way I can kiss you and be with you if I know there's a chance one of your soldiers end up murdering my son because you ordered it.”  
He flinched and looked away. Stella's hands were ice cold, but it wasn't because of the temperature outside. She was scared. Terrified. She didn't know if she'd have to run to Maxson's desk where she knew he kept a 10mm pistol. She wished she wouldn’t need to.  
“What exactly do you want from me, Austin?” he said. “Just tell me.”

She kneeled on the bed—Stella didn't want to sit anymore, but she didn't want to stand up either, she'd be too restless. She forced Arthur to face her. His expression was hard and cold, his jaw clenched. He was hating every second of this conversation as much as she did.  
“You know what I want,” she told him. “So you tell me what you can manage.”  
He stared at her lips. They must have been trembling, like the rest of her.  
“I could lift the order to kill Shaun on sight. Alter it. To capturing him instead. Then you could return him safely to Sanctuary if something ever happened.” Every word that came out of his mouth seemed to be causing him a great deal of pain. But he had said _him_ and not _it_ , which was already a victory in itself.  
“Really?” she said. “What about Nick Valentine?”  
“Gen 1s—”  
“I don't care which generations they are—passive synths are passive. Shaun, Nick Valentine, Curie, Danse. I want them on the green list. No killing.”  
Arthur went to reach for the bottle but she held it away from him. His eyes looked sad. Maybe she shouldn't have mentioned Danse, but he had to be part of the deal.  
His eyes always went back to her lips, she noted, and it made her hungry for his mouth. She wouldn't touch him if he didn't agree to her terms.  
“They couldn't be spared more than once,” Arthur said. “There's only so much I can do, Austin.”  
She'd see about that. She was being extremely cautious with her synth son and friends, but if she at least had the reassurance they wouldn't be killed right on sight, it was something. It could give her time to convince Arthur to go further in his recognition of the synth race.

“Promise me,” she demanded. “Promise me you won't have them killed.”  
“I—I promise,” he said, a little reluctantly, but he said it.  
She gave him the bottle but he put it on the table next to the bed and instead wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer. The weight on her shoulders disappeared instantly and she almost went limp. She put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his. She was still kneeling, so he helped her lying down and lied next to her. Facing each other, they had never been so close without their genitals touching. Stella liked the feeling of it.  
“You're... you're very beautiful, you know,” he managed, blushing.  
She chuckled. “You don't look too bad yourself, Elder.”  
He smiled and hesitated for a second or two before kissing her softly. That had to be the best kiss they had exchanged so far. There was no hurry, no carnal hunger, no panting. He just held her in his arms, close to him, and they kissed. His rough beard on her face tickling her, Stella opened her lips and he let his tongue wander in her mouth. He was getting more confident about kissing.  
He took her shirt off, and then his, and soon they were only in their underwear, but both too exhausted to take things further. Instead, she put her head on his chest, and that's how they fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! i'm overwhelmed by all the love you guys send me, and the mssgs i get on tumblr! y'all amazing! and full of sin! i adore you all. :) 
> 
> i'm working on that modern au. i'll post it soon!


	14. Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are changing for Stella and Arthur, but not everyone is okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i took forever to post, i've been working a lot etc but now I have a brand new laptop and a little less work so!!

 

Stella

 

 

 

Stella woke up early the next morning. She was alone in Maxson's quarters and his coat was gone from the hanger it had been on last night. She put her own clothes on and left his room, only to enter hers and gather some clean clothes, her armor and her hairbrush. The Prydwen was mostly empty at this time, except for people tired from waking so early, so Stella easily made her way to the flight deck, then the airport, then the showers. She was alone there too, though she tried entering the men's one but it was completely empty. She had hoped Arthur would have been there.  
She took her time washing her hair deeply and rinsing it well, and by the time she was done washing her whole body, the showers were full and the bathroom was loud with voices.  
She put her armor on and brushed her hair while talking with a girl she'd always liked—Sergeant Nina. Nina told her about her upcoming assignments and then left. Stella took a few seconds to dry her hair better and she got out.  
There was a lot of wind outside and tiny snowflakes were flying in all directions. Stella hurriedly went for one of the vertibirds that was getting people back on the ship, but on the way there she met Ingram.

“Austin!” Ingram said with a smile. “I've been looking for you. Wanna have breakfast with me?”  
“That sounds great!” Stella replied. She had a lot to tell her friend, after all. She would have waited until tonight probably, but breakfast was good enough.  
“So how are our friends?” Ingram asked. They never actually pronounced Shaun or Danse's names, especially not here.  
Stella was about to tell her about all the things she had done with them during her time off, but she was interrupted by Maxson's voice on the speakers. It was nice to hear his voice, but Kells usually did the morning announcements.  
“Good morning soldiers,” Maxson was saying. “Please allow me to speak for a minute before I give the microphone back to Captain Kells. I've thought of the best way to say what I have to say, but none came in my mind, so I'll just say it. As I am obliged to do, I confirm the rumors that were circulating in the airport about Sentinel Austin and me. We are in a relationship. And if of you had the idea to mock her because of that, remember that she is allowed to apply any punitive measures she thinks fitting. That's it, soldiers. (He paused there, but only a second) Stella, if you're hungry, there's breakfast for us in my quarters.”  
As dozens and dozens of heads turned in her direction, Stella made herself not look at the ground. Jones and Rhys weren't the only two idiots who could try to take advantage of the situation. Instead, she ignored the heat on her face—it was easy anyway, with the freezing wind cooling her off—and she made herself smile but just a little. Ingram's face was pale and her mouth open.  
“You dirty little—why didn't you tell me?” Ingram whispered, but it still sounded like she was yelling. “I mean, I knew you two were testing each other's zippers, but—”  
“I didn't tell you because... I was going to tell you like right now! Relax!” Stella sighed. “Keep a straight face and walk with me to the cafeteria.”  
“What? Nah, you're going back up, dearest. Your _boyfriend_ is waiting for you in his quarters.”  
Ingram left with a hysterical laugh and Stella made her way to the closest vertibird. Three people congratulated her. That was a little fucked up. She was just dating Maxson, she wasn't getting married or didn't win the lottery. But, she figured, Maxson was pretty much this soldier man with a lot of honor and he mostly cared about war, so it was kind of an event to find out he was dating. And he was strong and good looking, so it was like, hey Sentinel, congrats on hitting the jackpot.  
Arthur, on the other hand, was probably not getting the same reaction. Except maybe from Cade who might already have a list of potential baby names.

When Stella was back on the Prydwen, Teagan winked at her in the distance and she went to her own quarters to put her bag on her bed, then she entered Maxson's room.  
He was in front of his terminal, probably finishing whatever he had been doing last night when she interrupted him.  
“Did you have to do it like that?” she asked, closing the door.  
“What?” he said, removing his glasses and turning to her. “There was no other way, Austin. I did remind them you have the authority to deal with anyone who's not happy with it.”  
“I almost hope Jones will be an ass to me,” she admitted, taking a seat next to him. “Have you ever punched him? It's the best feeling.”  
Arthur burst into laughter and pushed a plate in front of her. It was filled with cooked vegetables, some steak and an egg. She grabbed a fork and started eating. He ate from his own plate, but took the corn she wasn't eating from hers. She wasn't very fond of post-war corn.  
“Debriefing in thirty,” he said with his mouth full. “Jones will be there. He's leading a team south west. We're establishing another outpost. Brace yourself.”  
Stella offered him a smile and they finished their breakfast in silence. It was much easier to be in his presence now, a little at least, and definitely more pleasant. They shared a large glass of lemon water and Stella told him she was going to get something from her room before debrief. They both got up and carefully placed the plates on the tray they had come in, but he caught her arm as she walked away and pulled her close to him. He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply.  
“Let's do this,” he said, his lips smiling against hers. “What do you need in your quarters?”  
“A goddamn jacket,” she sighed. “This ship is great, don't get me wrong, and don't ever tell Ingram I said this, but we're freezing in here.”  
Maxson chuckled and nodded. “Wanna see Jones' face when you enter the room with my coat on, though?” he offered.  
Stella quickly pulled the coat off his shoulders and put it on. It was a little heavy, but warm and soft.  
Then they went out after exchanging another kiss. It was good to be immature for once.  
It had been so long since Stella had allowed herself to just let go.  
People obviously stared at them as they made their way to the command center, but Stella was relieved not to hear too many laughs or whispers. Maybe that was just because they were afraid of Maxson, but hey, it still worked.

Jones trying to keep a straight face was worth ten thousand caps. Stella grinned and blew a kiss in his direction. He couldn't hurt her anymore—all his threats were empty. As Arthur's chair was brought to him and he sat down on it, the Elder was smiling, or more exactly, suppressing a laugh.  
She had never seen him like that.  
And Stella hadn't felt that way in—literally—over two hundred years. As much as her thoughts were still with Shaun and Danse back at Sanctuary, there was no denying she felt excited and a little aroused, which was no surprise because it was exactly the way she ought to feel, right? Maybe she and Arthur had omitted the first few steps like going on dates and had skipped directly at hating each other, then passionate sex, and this morning they were a couple, but Stella was happy. With the very same kind of happiness anyone felt at the beginning of a relationship. Arthur gave her butterflies in the stomach.  
And she was a little ashamed of that, but she took pride in being with the Elder. A respected man, tall and handsome and feared, had fallen for her. It was difficult to stop her mind from thinking about how she knew people would be jealous of her. Why was she proud of that? _That's disgusting_ , she told herself. But he did have an impressive cock so maybe... she would just let them be jealous. Maybe Jones had a glimpse of Arthur in the showers or something and he just _knew_.

Stella took her own usual seat to the Elder's left and Kells entered right after with a few Sergeants and Ingram, then Quinlan and Cade came after and closed the door behind them.  
“Good morning everyone,” Arthur started. “Isn't it cold today? Ingram, how are we doing with the heating system?”  
“Everyone's up in my ass about it, Elder,” Ingram sighed, her eyes rolling. “We're working on it. We do want it to be comfortable, but we don't want this thing to catch on fire, I'm sure you understand that.”  
“That's fine. In the meantime we could provide more warm clothes for—”  
“Are we going to pretend it's all okay?” Jones interrupted.  
Arthur briefly turned to Stella, just to lock eyes with her, but he wasn't laughing anymore. Then he turned to Jones, his hands joined together on the table. It was hard to ignore Ingram's grin or Quinlan's and Cade's muttering, but Stella also looked at Jones, dead-eyed.  
“Care to elaborate, Jones?” Arthur invited.  
“I'm sorry Elder, but with all my respect, I fail to see how this is happening,” Jones replied, raising his chin towards Stella. “I'm gonna have to request a meeting with the High Elder. I'm positive she would not allow that.”  
“You would not disturb the High Elder on her deathbed because you dislike Sentinel Austin, would you?” Arthur barked.  
Stella didn't know much about the High Elder—after all, she'd been under Arthur's direct command and had never asked about the Brotherhood's happenings outside the Commonwealth. She did know that Grace Maxson had been appointed an hour after the death of her husband, Jeremy Maxson, who had been High Elder himself and Arthur’s uncle. She was the first to obtain this rank that hadn't been born a Maxson and it was apparently a big deal. She was dying though, something like cancer. Nothing unusual in a world where bugs vomited radioactive goo on you all the time. Still.  
“I would disturb the High Elder on her deathbed because the man who will soon take her place is sharing his bed with a synth lover slut,” Jones muttered, his jaw clenched.  
Stella didn't even think about it, she got up and launched herself across the table. Her hand grabbed Jones' armor while her other fist tried to reach his face, but someone was trying to stop her from behind. She gave a few kicks and as soon as she was free, she put all of her weight on Jones and they fell on the floor together, her on top of him, his head hitting the metallic floor hard. He cringed and she hit him, missing his nose but probably breaking a tooth. He spat blood on her and caught her hair to stabilize himself and he hit her back twice. In the forehead and the nose. He didn't miss though, and a sharp pain spread from Stella's nose to her cheeks and under her eyes. She growled and punched him again, and he grabbed her and made her roll under him. He hit her head against the floor like she had done to him, then he tried to hit her side with an elbow. Stella defended herself the best she could, and she was trying to kick him but he was heavy on top of her. Then he had just the time to hit her hard in the face, and she let out an angry cry before hitting back, and his weight was gone. Kells pulled him up.  
Familiar arms lifted her and took her away. She found herself in the air and put back a few feet away, then Maxson put himself in front of her, worried to death.  
“Are you okay? Stella?”  
“Let—me—UGH!” she cried, but Arthur was holding her shoulders firmly. Her mouth was full of blood, and so much of it was dripping from her nose and her forehead, some in her eyes.

Behind him, Jones was being held by Kells and Ingram. He was also bleeding a lot.  
“See?!” he shouted at Maxson. “She knows it's true! We all know she's hiding Danse somewhere! We all know she's hiding that robot she calls her son! But what people seem to be ignoring is that you lifted the order commanding the assassination of all synths! And that's not a coincidence!”  
“Shut up!” Arthur didn't need to yell to make himself understand. He walked back to Jones and pushed two fingers on his chest. “Danse is dead. (He hit Jones with his fingers, and even that looked painful) I saw his dead body being tossed in the ocean. As for the other synths, I'm asking they are captured instead of killed, when possible, so we can question them or open their synthetic heads and find out if there is some part of the Institute that might still be alive somewhere. But if you have a better idea to protect the people of the Commonwealth, you're going to have to think about it from behind a locked door, Jones. Kells, take him down to the cells. I believe they are not yet equipped with either heating, or mattresses or functioning bathrooms, but that will be largely enough for our former Sergeant here.”

Arthur had lied. In front of everybody. In front of Kells, in front of three Proctors—including one who knew the truth—and all that to defend her, to defend Danse. Maxson had confirmed to Jones that Danse was dead, while he only had been vague about it before. He had lied to defend _Shaun_.  
Or maybe just to defend her, but still.  
Maxson hurried to her when Jones was gone and took her hands in his. “Your knuckles,” he pointed out.  
She looked down. She'd injured her hand in the fight and opened three knuckles. She wiped some of the blood on her face with a cloth that Cade was holding out to her.  
“Sentinel, follow me, we'll take care of this,” the doctor said. “You have a liking for stitches, it seems.”  
Even with all the adrenaline, Stella was cold and she was almost in shock. She was looking at Maxson, searching for the hatred she had always known in him, the cruelty, but it wasn't there, not right now. He was trying to push her towards Cade but she wouldn't move, and he just looked concerned. Not angry, not ashamed. He could have been ashamed of what he had done just then, but he wasn't.  
At that exact moment, Stella knew for sure she was in love with him.  
Instead of following Cade, she pulled Maxson's face closer and she kissed him. He resisted at first, maybe because there were still people in the room, or maybe because her mouth was full of blood, but soon he gave in and kissed her back. When they let the kiss finish and Stella opened her eyes, she saw his mouth also covered in her blood, but his eyes were hungry and piercing.

Cade cleared his throat very loudly. “I insist, Elder. She needs medical attention.”  
“Of course.” Arthur also coughed nervously and used his hand to wipe the blood off his mouth. “Come on, Austin. Get your stitches.” He smiled, just for two or three seconds. “Good fight. You would've won if we’d let you. Except I needed him conscious for technical reasons. Like firing him.”


	15. Snow angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lot happening in this chapter
> 
> fluff. smut. more fluff.

 

Maxson

 

 

 

As days stretched into weeks, Arthur found himself more comfortable in almost every area of his life.  
Now that things were settling down after the war against the Institute, everything was easier at the airport. And as important as the war had been, he felt extremely satisfied when he looked down and saw every building expanding and turned into something useful. The new quarters were especially appreciated by the soldiers—and he wasn't a fool, he knew it was mostly because they could more easily escape his and Kells' surveillance when they were down there, and that was okay. As long as things didn't turn ugly, he could allow it. Hell, he had noticed an improvement not only in morale but in efficiency. He was, of course, proud of himself, but he was also proud of his soldiers. Working until their hands were bleeding and never getting tired.  
He was very busy though. But he was getting better with that, too—time.  
Except when Stella wasn't there, or when he had to leave the Commonwealth to visit the Citadel or another chapter of the Brotherhood. And Arthur was trying so hard not to let that get to him, after all, and most of the time he was able to focus on his duties, but there were more difficult moments. Like right now, as Stella had asked for twelve entire days off in a row. He didn't know what were her plans, but he knew who she was with and it was enough to drive him crazy.  
He never asked about Danse and he never asked about Shaun, but it was easy to assume that whatever she did outside the airport, she did it with them.

Arthur nervously looked at the clock in his quarters. It was past 11:00 now, and her vertibird had been expected at 10:30 PM. He stared at the terminal in front of him and read some of the report he'd been typing only to realize most of it didn't make sense. No. He couldn't put his mind on that just now, so he took his glasses off and got up. The Elder put on his coat and boots before exiting his quarters and made himself casually walk to the mess hall, but nobody was there.  
He turned back and went directly to the command center but it was empty too. Of course, it was past curfew and there was no need to have anyone in here really, but he paced around and looked at monitors while he waited.

When he heard the familiar sound of a vertibird outside, he made his way to the flight deck and watched Stella and the pilot climb down. When she saw him, she flashed a smile and quickly went to him, holding her bag. They patiently waited until the pilot was gone before he kissed her. He immediately felt a something awakening down his belly.  
“Sorry I'm late,” she said between two kisses. “It took long because of the snow.”  
Arthur looked down to find out it was snowing heavily. “I'm glad you've come back safely,” he replied. “Do you want to walk with me? I've been sitting for at least two hours.”  
“Sure, just let me go put that in my room, I'll be right back.” She went back into the ship with her bag and he waited for her. When she came back, she was wearing a woollen hat and some gloves. He piloted a vertibird down the ship himself, and they walked.

“How did it go?” she asked when they were a little away from the people working night shifts. “Any word from your aunt?”  
“Kind of. Last vertibird said she probably only had a few hours left,” he said. Arthur looked around and when he was sure no one could see them, he took her hand in his, wishing she wasn't wearing a glove so he could feel her skin. “She might be dead as we’re speaking. I have a bag ready in my quarters for when I leave. I’ll miss you. You’re so beautiful.”  
She looked down but he could still see her smiling. The sky was amazing tonight, with half of the moon and all the stars shining. They walked in silence for a few minutes, because he wouldn't dare asking _her_ how things had been. He didn't really want to know and she didn't want him to know, so he never asked. If she had something to say, she just said it, and it worked out well like that.  
“When you'll have to go and become High Elder,” she started. “How long will you be gone?”  
“I don't know exactly.” They stopped walking and stood in front of each other. “Not too long, I hope.”  
“But you'll come back?”  
“I will come back.”  
She nodded and buried her chin and mouth in the collar of her jacket. He leaned against the building behind him—it was still empty but it had been thoroughly cleaned and would be used in the upcoming months as a storage facility.  
There was very little lighting here, but he could see snowflakes in her tangled hair and on her hat. He reached for his pocket where he let his fingers touch the cold metal of the ring, then with the same hand he touched Stella's cheek.

“You've ever made a snow angel, Arthur?” she asked, looking around.  
“A _what_?” He wished he could say he had already heard this term, but he hadn't.  
“A snow angel. Are you serious? You haven't? You post-war people truly are no fun. Watch me.”  
She walked two feet away and faced him again. She raised both arms at shoulder height, then let herself fall in the snow. Then she moved her arms up and down and her legs left and right and carefully got back up.  
“Look down now!” she told him. Do you see it? The angel?  
Arthur stared at the ground where she'd been a few seconds earlier. There was definitely something there, just not what she claimed.  
“I don't see an angel,” he admitted.  
“Just try. It's fun. Give me your coat though, or it'll ruin the shape.”  
“There is no shape,” he insisted, but still lied down in the cold snow with no coat on and did the same thing she had done. She was doing it again on the other side of him, but when she went to get up, he caught her wrist and pulled her against him.  
“We'll just get hypothermia here,” she pointed out, but didn't try to leave. “And you’ve just ruined both of our snow angels.”  
“We have to talk, Stella,” he said.  
She rose on her shoulder and looked at him, concerned. Her hat had fallen somewhere, revealing her long, wavy hair. “Is it bad?”  
Arthur realized he was nervous. He breathed deeply and gestured to his coat, which she had left just on her right. “Get the left inside pocket,” he told her.

She immediately went for the coat and fumbled around it until she found the pocket. Then she stopped moving. Seeing she wasn't going to face him again, he sat in the snow and put his hand on her shoulder to make her look at him.  
“Stella,” he whispered.  
She finally looked up at him, her small hand closed in a fist. He took it in his and made her release the ring. It stayed in her palm.  
“I know this must seem very _fast_ to you,” he started. “From what I know of the old world, people didn't get married as early, but now... who can tell how long we still have? You know? And I've told you before, there's no one but you I want for this (he vaguely gestured towards the Prydwen, but she didn't even look). I just... I know that if it ever ends, you and I, I'll never go with someone else. I just know that it's you, Stella.”  
He took the ring from her hand and showed her the other ring she was already wearing. The one from her first wedding.  
“You have to know I'll never make you take this one off,” he went on. “Ever. And you still wouldn’t have to forgive me for what I’ve done. You could still hate me if you want.”  
When Stella started sobbing, Arthur figured he had fucked up royally. Because she never cried, at least not in front of him. Kells had told him it might be a little early for it because she was used to old world customs, and even if nowadays it wasn’t uncommon to see couples getting married after knowing each other for less than two months, Kells had feared it might unsettle Stella. He’d been right.

Arthur regretted his move now. He was so embarrassed and abashed he didn’t even feel the cold snow anymore. He was just hoping Stella would still want him after that.  
She cried a lot, staring at her hand first, then at the sky. He knew better than to interrupt her when she was upset, so he just let it happen.  
Actually, Arthur was starting to wonder if he shouldn’t just go and leave her alone.  
Maybe he should have left her alone from the start. Maybe he should have known it was a bad idea from the very first time he had started feeling attraction for her. He remembered so well seeing her coming back from an assignment once, a long time ago when she was still just a Knight on the synth’s team, and as soon as she’d been down the vertibird she’d started taking off her armor because it was covered in feral blood. Arthur had been sensible to the way women looked before, but not like this, and from this very day, Stella had been on his mind.  
Pure physical attraction had grown into something much more important, but he had never imagined he would cause her so much pain.  
Because that’s exactly what he had been doing the whole time. Her son, the synth, her synth son. Everything.  
But he loved her. He didn’t deserve her, but he loved her.

Yeah. Maybe he ought to go elsewhere.  
Arthur went to push himself up, but she stopped him by putting her arms around him. Relief submerged him as he held her tightly against his chest. She looked into his eyes, her face wet with tears but her cries stopped. Her delicate fingers reached for the scar on his cheek. As his eyes were getting used to the dark, he was able to make out snowflakes resting on her long eyelashes. Every single thing about this woman had made him a different person. A better person. And with her by his side, he wouldn’t fear becoming High Elder. Hell, he would embrace it.  
“I love you,” he mouthed. It was the first time he told her that.  
She had a faint smile and touched his lips with her thumb. He noticed her skin wasn’t as soft as it used to be, but she was still the best thing he had ever touched.  
“I love you too,” she replied before they kissed. He pulled her on top of him so she could sit with her legs around him, and after that she kissed him deeper. She was fumbling with her hands—she took her gloves off, and he looked down.  
She stared at her left hand for a long, long time. Arthur watched her take off the ring she had been wearing and switch it to the other hand.

He slowly slipped on the ring he had made for her around her finger. It wasn’t as shiny as her other one, but he had made sure flowers were engraved on it. Not because Stella was all about flowers, she didn’t hate them but she wasn’t obsessed with them either. No, it was because she reminded Arthur of a flower. Delicate looking, and pretty with a lovely perfume, but also resilient. When a flower gets stepped on, it holds on, and it might be a little crushed but it will still be beautiful and soft and it will still smell good. And that’s exactly how he perceived Stella.  
“Say it again,” she demanded in a low voice. He knew what she meant. He started undoing the buttons of her jacket with his cold fingers, and when he was done, he slid his hands under her shirt, making her shiver.  
“I love you Stella,” he repeated in her ear, her hair in his mouth. She was warm. He cupped her breasts, teasing her nipples. She looked at him straight in the eyes.  
Arthur kissed her again and she began rolling her hips to brush her crotch on his. “Let’s go back up,” he said.  
“No.” She kissed him, taking his face in her hands, the metal of the ring cold on his skin. “You’re going to fuck me in there.” She showed him the facility behind them.  
Her controlling tone convinced him that yes, this abandoned building was the best place to fuck her just now. He loved it when she used that voice to give out orders to soldiers, but he especially liked it when she ordered _him_ to do something. And Arthur was not the kind of man who liked receiving orders, so it meant a lot.  
They got up and he quickly grabbed his coat as she ran in front of him to find the nearest entrance. The door was locked, but he leaned and pushed it with a solid hit. The door gave in. Stella followed him inside.  
It was dark here, but at least there was no wind. As soon as they were in, she kissed him again, unzipping his armor and taking it off him. She struggled when it reached his feet, so he took off his boots too. Even if they were in here, it was cold, and he hadn’t been able to close the door after breaking in. It would do.

Arthur watched Stella take off her clothes. Some moonlight filtered through the large, dirty window near them, making her look ethereal. And she didn’t keep anything on. She stood before him, completely naked, her body so drastically different from when she had arrived to him as a recruit and yet always more beautiful. This woman he looked at, with round breasts and a deathclaw scar on her left side—she was going to be his wife.  
That thought only made Arthur’s cock harden. Stella took one step to get closer and her cold fingers touched his abdomen, tickling him. She felt his muscles, slightly biting her lip. She used her other hand to push her hair behind, showing her face better.  
Then Stella dropped on her knees and kissed his navel. Arthur shivered and looked down to watch her pull down his underpants, freeing his erection. She didn’t suck him off just yet, instead she took him in her small hand and gave a few strokes, just to tease him, squeezing a little and letting go.  
He had allowed his eyes to close, abandoning himself to all that pleasure, but when she stopped he opened them again, just in time to see his cock disappear in Stella’s hungry mouth. In the cold air, her mouth felt hotter than usual. She was a beautiful sight. Her hand still working on him and her mouth sucking and moving around the tip of his shaft. He was _so_ hard. It was like he was going to explode. Shit, he had missed her so much. And it hadn’t even been two weeks. What would it be like when he’d have to leave for possibly over two months?

There was no need to worry about that right now, not as she was giving him an amazing gift like that. She took her time, often stopping completely to let just her tongue do the work. And fuck, did it delivered.  
Arthur stopped her before he came. He knew he was getting close and he wanted her to get off first. He kneeled down too, kissing her, tasting himself in her mouth. Metal. Salt. She helped him putting his coat on the floor for additional comfort, but when he went to have her lie down on it, she didn’t. Instead, she rolled on her hands and knees, showing him her back and her beautiful ass. Didn’t take Arthur more than a second to understand what she wanted. By now he knew it drove her crazy when he fucked her from behind. He took his own cock in his hand and guided himself inside her. She was already slick so he put his hands on her hips and gave a few thrusts.  
“Arthur,” Stella breathed. Then she moaned. Noisily. So he began pushing in his cock and pulling it out completely. It was how she liked it the best. He knew her now. He knew what she liked, when she liked it. He loved the feeling of her pussy around his cock. As familiar as it was by then, he was far from getting tired of it. In fact, Arthur never had enough.  
He put one hand on her back and, still fucking her hard, decided to give her a good reason to scream at the top of her lungs.  
Using just two fingers—he didn’t need more than that—he worked circular motions on her clit. He liked doing that because with his hand in this position, he could feel himself fucking her. As predicted, she could no longer hold back the moans, and her voice echoed in the empty room. Someone would hear them. There were patrols all over the airport.  
He pushed on her spine to put her face down. His coat muffled some of the sound, but overall didn’t make much of a difference. From this angle, however, he could fuck her even deeper, and he soon felt her tighten around him. She went stiff as she came, screaming his name repeatedly, then went completely limp. As soon as she was done, Arthur had her on her back. He spread her legs using his own and buried his cock in her pussy. It was filled with her juices. Every thrust he gave made a loud, wet noise. He kissed her and Stella bit his lip. He tasted blood, but her tongue stirred in his mouth.  
“Are you going to come inside me?” she asked between two cries of pleasure. “Please.”  
He slowed a little. “But—”  
“Just do it. Arthur. Please.” She _wanted_ it so bad. The second he regained his speed, she wrapped her legs around him.  
Stella was moaning again, not as loud, but still sensitive and enjoying herself. Arthur was almost sure he had heard something from outside. He was about to finish and wasn’t gonna stop now, so he put his hand over her mouth and kept hitting her insides with his cock. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head, and she got very tight and once more he was suddenly fucking an ocean. He felt himself twitch and immediately came, shooting twice. Arthur finally let go of her mouth and Stella pulled him in for a long, passionate kiss.

The patrol walked past their building but didn’t stop, and Arthur’s shoulders relaxed instantly. He wasn’t ashamed of being in a relationship with Stella—far from that—but he was still the Elder and simply couldn’t be caught having sex with her, or with anyone.  
Their lips parted and Arthur looked down on Stella’s face. He was happy. He was content. She had been able to say goodbye to her past and now they would have a future together.  
As they were putting their clothes back on, Arthur couldn’t help thinking about her other life. What would the synth think of that? What would he say about their union? Could synths have emotions at all?  
He wasn’t going to ask Stella that—she’d spit in his face and throw his ring back at him. And then he’d probably never see her again.

As they were returning to the Prydwen, several people stopped them and mentioned that Proctor Quinlan and Captain Kells had been looking for him.  
“We better hurry,” Stella pointed out, and they jogged their way to a vertibird that took them on the ship.  
The ship was silent at this time of the night, so he heard the voices clearly in the command center. Then Arthur knew. He had been expecting it for a little while now.  
The expression on Kells and Quinlan’s faces confirmed his thoughts. But with Stella by his side, he managed to look not too overwhelmed.  
“Is it over?” he asked them.  
Kells didn’t answer, instead he grabbed the holotape Quinlan was holding and inserted it in a player. Arthur heard his aunt’s voice. It was frail and unsteady, but it was Grace, there was no denying that.  
“Grace Maxson speaking,” she was saying, taking deep, painful breaths between each words. “As life is slowly leaving my body for good, I shall speak my last commands and instructions. The person replacing me must be Arthur Maxson, currently Elder of the Eastern chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel. No one but the son of Jonathan and Jessica Maxson would deserve this rank more than he does.” Then there was a long pause, and Grace breathed some more, but it just sounded like she was gasping for air. “Arthur, my boy,” she said just for him. “Make your family proud.”  
The holotape clicked and it was over. To his left, Stella had a hand over her mouth and she was as silent as he was.

Fifteen minutes earlier he had been fucking his future wife to be and now he had to leave the Commonwealth to accept the rank of High Elder. Arthur needed a drink.  
“Sir, I’ve arranged a vertibird for your departure,” Kells said after clearing his throat. “Whenever you’re ready.”  
“Wait,” Quinlan interrupted, looking at Stella’s hand. “Sir, have you—is it done?”  
Arthur’s head was spinning around a thousand thoughts at once, but if there was something he could still hang onto, it was that. The ring on that woman’s finger. He nodded. He had told both Quinlan and Kells his plans about marrying Stella.  
“Do you wish to perform the ceremony before leaving, Sir?” Kells asked. He was going to be the one to do it.

Stella turned to him, startled. He saw in her eyes that it was all too fast for her. But he was going to be away for a long time and, hell, he wanted it. The snow in her hair was all melted by now, leaving wet strands of hair here and there, making it frizzy and messy. God, she was beautiful.  
But as they were staring in each other’s eyes, her expression changed. From surprise, it turned into resolve, then something that might have been contentment.  
Arthur knew it was because she wanted to tell them… the synths. Maybe she wanted her synth son to know about her marriage before it actually happened. But they didn’t have time for that.  
“Okay, Elder,” she told him. “Do you have a ring for yourself?”  
“I have it,” Kells said, giving it to her. Then she took off her own ring and gave it to Arthur.  
He was still stunned by all the events happening tonight, but he would leave the Commonwealth feeling more secure if they were officially together.  
The ceremony was short. Quinlan served as witness for their union. Kells spoke of duty, and how it had made two souls fall for each other. The Captain wasn’t bad with words, not at all.  
There were a few tears in Stella’s eyes but she smiled.  
“Sentinel Stella Austin,” Kells finally said, “will you spend the rest of your life by your husband’s side, advise him, and love him the best you can?”  
Stella’s lips were trembling, as were her hands. She took Arthur’s hand and put the ring to his finger. It felt good, as if it belonged there.  
“I will,” she replied, looking into his eyes. Arthur’s heart was pumping.  
“Elder Arthur Maxson—soon to be High Elder Maxson—,” Kells went on, “will you spend the rest of your life by your wife’s side, advise her and love her the best you can?”  
“I will.” There was no hesitation. He slipped the ring to her finger.  
A long silence followed his declaration. “You may kiss the bride, Elder,” Kells announced, a smile in his voice.  
Arthur delicately took Stella’s face in his hands, brushing her cheeks with his rough thumbs. Then they kissed. Deeply. Her tongue was everywhere in his mouth, wanting, pushing.

But while the soldiers aboard the Prydwen were being announced the news, Arthur was outside, climbing into a vertibird that would take him to a place where they would burden him with more duties, more responsibilities. His wife stayed on the deck, observing him. It looked like she was cold.  
“Stella,” he said as the crew was working around them. “Take this.” He took off his coat. He wanted her to have it. At least while he’d be gone. She grabbed it and passed it on her shoulders. It was big on her, but anything looked good when she was wearing it.  
“Promise me you’ll come back,” she said. “Please.”  
“I promise,” Arthur replied, leaning over the railing to reach her. They kissed a long time, and he wished he could have fucked her again before leaving but it was too late now. “I love you.”  
“I love you too,” she mouthed in his ear, her voice gone. “Please come back. I can’t lose you too.”  
That hit him more than anything. She was right—she was so right. As strong as she was, Stella couldn’t afford losing another husband.  
The vertibird was already moving around to detach itself from the ship. Arthur stared at Stella as long as he could see her, but very soon she was gone. And he was on his way to become High Elder—the rank that had been promised to him as soon as he had been born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big thanks to the people sticking with this! you're the best. xxxxx


	16. Elder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rhys is a savage little shit honestly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i totally mean to be writing more BUt daredevil season 2 came out, and tomorrow is new fallout DLC and i work and uughh SO much content to consume everywhere oh my god i am overwhelmed. 
> 
> this is a short chapter but i'll post another one v soon 
> 
> but anyway!! thanks guys :)

 

Stella

 

 

 

As difficult as it was be without Arthur, the hardest part of him being gone was taking his place as commander of the Prydwen. Because Stella couldn’t take as many days off as she did before. Instead of leaving for a week and coming back to work, she’d work two weeks, go spend a day in Sanctuary, and come back aboard the Prydwen the same night. She missed Shaun. She missed Danse. And she missed Arthur.   
She also missed Nate, and she missed her friends too. She missed her parents and her sister.   
Shaun had actually taken the news of her second marriage pretty well. He was always excited about everything. Stella was pretty sure he was aware of Arthur’s feelings towards synths, but Shaun said as long as she was happy, he would be happy.   
But Danse.   
She had never seen him this way. At first, he had remained silent as everyone in Sanctuary gathered around her to look at the ring and ask for details. Danse had just left for the woods outside the fence. She’d gone after him, only to find her friend punching a tree, his hands injured and bloody.   
Danse wasn’t mad at _her_. He was mad because he hadn’t been there to witness the wedding of the man that was once not only his leader, but his friend. That night, she had held him until the sobs had stopped and he had fallen asleep. That was one of the moments when Stella wished she had fallen in love with Danse and not Maxson—it was too late now.

Stella was preoccupied with that, for sure, but all the responsibilities of the ship couldn’t escape her mind either. She barely slept at night, didn’t eat a lot either. Cade was pressuring her into having healthier life habits but she just couldn’t do it. Once, just to make him shut up, she ate the whole plate he had brought her. A large brahmin steak with a ton of vegetables, some soup too, and dessert; fruits and a shitty post-war pastry. Anyway. Stella threw it up. After that, Cade had stopped insisting.   
One day, she heard Kells calling for her over the speakers. She was in Arthur’s quarters—although they were also hers now—but she ignored the call. It was always something stupid like authorizing a vertibird for something or giving her opinion on another thing.   
“Sentinel Austin,” Kells repeated. “It’s very urgent. _Please_.” Stella sighed and pushed the chair she was sitting on. She stood up, exhausted, put Arthur’s coat on her shoulders and went out. It was the end of the day and most people were probably out having dinner at the airport. It reminded her she should probably have dinner, too.   
She made her way to the command deck, and when she opened the door, she almost (and it came very close) fainted.

Her friends were kneeling on the floor, hands tied in their backs. Nick Valentine. Curie. Hancock. Stella’s heart started pumping furiously as her knees could barely hold her weight. Holding on to the wall, she scanned the room, trying to understand what she was seeing.   
_Shaun_. Shaun. Shaun. What—what was it that she was seeing? Where was Shaun?   
“What the hell is this?” she barked at the small crowd in the room.  
She noticed Rhys’ presence. _Sergeant_ Rhys now. He was obviously having trouble containing a large grin, but appeared to have been shot with a laser weapon on his right shoulder. She just noticed he was with two soldiers from his team. Stella immediately dismissed them, and Rhys knew better than to protest.  
“Is someone going to tell me what the fuck is going on?” she went, standing in front of Curie. The small woman was trembling and her lip was bleeding. Someone had hit her.   
“Did you hurt her?”  
“She resisted her arrest,” Rhys explained.   
“I seriously doubt that,” Stella said, cutting him off. “You tell me what you did, Rhys. Now.”  
Kells was standing behind everyone, leaning on a console, watching the scene. He didn’t like synths or ghouls, but he also knew she was his commandant—for now at least. He was holding a piece of paper.

Rhys cleared his throat and made a few steps to meet with her. He was taller than she was, but Stella wasn’t afraid of him.   
“Ma’am, what happened is very simple,” he said. “We were on a scouting mission up north, near Concord, and I believe I saw an enemy. In the place you call home. I believe saw Danse, so we landed a vertibird and—”  
“You _what_? Elder Maxson himself ordered not to land any vertibird near Sanctuary.”   
“Unless we have to,” Rhys specified. “And I had to investigate. We couldn’t find Danse, he probably escaped, but I found _those_. I can take them to their cells.”  
Danse. _Shaun_. She had to know where Shaun was. Rhys hadn’t even mentioned him. That could mean both good or bad news, but she wasn’t going to risk speaking of him right now.   
“They’re not going anywhere,” Stella replied. “Stand down, Rhys. You’re dismissed. I’ll take it from here.”   
“ _What_?”   
Rhys was looking at her like she was some kind of freak. She looked back, her face unimpressed. She couldn’t show him that she was losing her shit.   
“You heard me. Get the fuck out of here.”   
“No. Kells, send word to the High Elder, she has no right to—”   
Stella pushed Rhys against the wall and held him against it. He tried to shove her away but she blocked him.   
“Sergeant Rhys, I can’t do what you ask me to,” Kells said. “She is in the right.”

Stella let him go because Kells was walking towards her. He gave her the piece of paper he had been holding. It was a note written in a familiar handwriting. Small, square letters. Arthur.   
It just said:   
_I give the rank of Elder of the East Coast chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel to Stella Austin, currently occupying the rank of Sentinel. She will choose a replacement for the role of Sentinel as she wishes. Effective immediately. Arthur Maxson, High Elder_   
A thought wandered in Stella’s mind—she could just pardon every synth now, pardon Danse and Shaun, she could actually do it.   
But she also couldn’t. Because at the end of the day, Arthur was still a rank higher than she was and he would not let that happen.   
What she could do though, was make Rhys pay for what he had done.   
Rhys must have been reading over her shoulder, because he looked like he had just seen a ghost. A cruel smirk appeared on Stella’s face.  
“Kells, please make sure Rhys is locked into a cell until I decide what I will do with him. I’m taking these three prisoners back where they _live_.” Kells nodded and pushed Rhys to the door. When they were both gone, Stella quickly untied her friends and helped Curie up.

“Where’s Shaun?” she asked. “What the fuck happened? Shit. Never mind, we can’t talk here. Follow me.”   
She made them follow her to the flight deck and called for a vertibird. Even though the pilot didn’t seem too sure about it, they all climbed into it and flew to Sanctuary. It had to be the longest flight Stella had ever done. Nick was trying to gesture her something, but she couldn’t understand.   
The vertibird left them at the nearby Red Rocket Station, and Stella ran the whole way to Sanctuary. Everyone seemed to be gathered in one house, but she wasn’t seeing who she wanted to see.   
“Stella,” Preston called. “Stella listen, Shaun is alright.”  
“Where is he? Where’s Shaun?” She was shaking. “Can someone tell me what happened?”   
“They came in a vertibird,” Nick explained. “Danse said he knew one of those men and they must have been here for him. They saw him with Shaun. He took the kid and ran while they were busy arresting me and the others.”   
_He took the kid and ran_.   
“He—Danse said they’d be back later. He said he was going to leave the ‘Wealth with Shaun,”   
MacCready added. “For a few weeks maybe. He didn’t know what was going on. Shaun was scared too, but he said Danse could protect him. He asked me to tell you that he loves you, and he’ll be back, and to go look at the third tree behind Preston’s house.”   
“He was probably right,” Hancock pointed out. “If someone can make him stay alive in this goddamn world, it’s Danse.”   
The world was spinning around Stella. Most of her wanted to lie flat on the ground and maybe cry, but the little energy she still had made her go to Preston’s house.

Shaun was gone. She had been allowed so little time with him and he was just gone. She knew that Danse had made the right move—if Rhys had ended up here today, who knew what would happen the next time a similar event took place? Because if it happened once, it would happen again. Rhys had seen Danse. He knew he was here.   
Danse wasn’t safe here, and if Danse wasn’t safe here, neither was Shaun.   
She felt so alone just then. No Shaun, no Danse. No Arthur.   
The sun was falling down but she found which tree Shaun had been talking about. It had marks on it, all at Shaun’s height or so. Bars that had been painted on it. The lowest bar had the note ‘Shaun – Summer’ on it. The one above said ‘Shaun – Fall’. The last one was considerably higher. ‘Shaun – Winter’.   
Shaun was growing up.   
That was what this tree was telling her. It was telling her that Shaun had been secretly marking his height because he wanted to see if he was a normal kid, if he’d ever be tall, if he’d ever fit into a power armor. And yes he did. Her son would someday be a full grown adult.   
If he made it alive until he had a chance to.   
Stella sat under the dead tree and cried. She heard people coming near but they left her alone. She just needed to cry it out. Fuck. She’d looked for her son all this goddamn time and he was gone.

She was the Elder now. And she would make goddamn sure that her son would be safe once he got back. Because he deserved to grow up in a world that didn’t hate him for existing. It would take all the time needed, but she’d do it.


	17. The lump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stella is overwhelmed by all the changes in her new life

 

Stella

 

 

 

Stella woke up one morning from a nightmare she forgot the moment her eyes flew open, but a scream was still echoing in her throat. She closed her hand in a fist and bit it hard—a gesture she hadn’t done in a long time. She looked around, startled, and saw nothing but darkness. She reached for the table next to Arthur’s bed, felt her pip-boy, but tossed it away to get to the lamp. Her fingers found the switch and she turned it on.  
As she regained her composure and breathed deeply, she tried remembering the nightmare. She closed her eyes and ran after the bits of memories she could have of it. She was in Sanctuary, and there was snow on the ground and—and the snow had blood on it.

When her dream came back to her, she panicked and swallowed another scream. Shaun. Dead. Not just dead. _Slaughtered_. His small body was hanging from one of the branches of a tree, the same tree where he had marked his height. He was hanging by his neck, but his belly had been ripped open and his insides were slipping out of him. Next to that, Danse, dead on the ground, with his throat cut open and blood all over his face.  
And Arthur. Arthur was standing in the middle of this, beautiful and dangerous, cleaning the blood on a sharp blade, ignoring her.  
The clear image of Shaun’s butchered body wouldn’t get out of her mind. Stella retched and her body started quivering with revulsion, nausea and sobs. She made her way to the Elder’s private bathroom, losing her balance, ending up walking with her back against the wall so she wouldn’t fall down. She dropped down and put her hands on the cold ceramic of the toilet, but even if she kept seeing Shaun’s body, she found herself unable to vomit.  
Probably because she hadn’t been able to eat in days now. Cade kept her on a liquid diet because he didn’t know what else to do.

Stella breathed in and walked back to her quarters where she found her pip-boy. It said it was eight in the morning already. She should have been up forever ago, but it didn’t matter. She put her armor on but found it was uncomfortable. Because it was an armor for people who killed innocents. She was the leader of a group who killed innocents.  
That morning, she didn’t put Maxson’s coat on. She got out of her room and entered the command deck only to find Kells drinking his morning hubflower tea.  
“Good morning, Elder,” he said. He was almost convincing and it almost didn’t show that he heard her scream. There wasn’t much privacy on the Prydwen.  
“Good morning, Kells.” Her voice was husky and low. Stella wasn’t used to that. She missed her clear, loud voice. “Anything up?”  
“Nothing so far.” He drank some tea. “You know, if you’d like to rest today, I can—I can take the reins for a bit. You look tired.”  
Stella wouldn’t know what she looked like because she avoided mirrors at all costs. All they showed her was a woman dangerously thin with large, dark circles under her bloodshot eyes and a mouth that never smiled.  
“I’m fine,” she lied. “Have you seen Ingram?”  
“I believe Ingram and Cade were down there working on something, but I don’t know what exactly. Some medical equipment for Cade’s new clinic. I can call them in.”  
“Don’t,” Stella said. “I’m going down. Call me if there’s anything.”

Stella took a vertibird down and walked around the airport a little. The air was fresh, but most of the snow had melted by now. It would be her birthday soon.  
She entered the main building where she passed the area they used as prison. It was mostly empty, but Rhys and Jones were both still in there. She’d probably release them and ban them from the airport and Brotherhood altogether, but she secretly wished she could offer them to a dozen deathclaws and watch the show.  
She found the clinic. She hadn’t been in there yet, but it looked good. Nothing compared to pre-war medical facilities, but it had beds and it was actually clean. She located Ingram in a back room, working on the equipment Kells had mentioned.  
“Ingram,” she said. She just needed someone friendly to be with right now. “Do you want to go around and walk?”  
“I can’t, unless you order me to,” Ingram said with a sigh. “Cade has me working on this thing and it’s apparently really important. And really secret. I’m not supposed to talk about it. Not even to you.”  
“He can’t keep secrets from me.”  
“Too late, darling.”  
Stella took a better look at the machine. It had a large screen that might have been a television before.

“Elder Maxson?” Cade’s voice said. Stella didn’t react immediately. She wasn’t used to being called neither Elder or Maxson, and definitely not both of those things at once. But she _was_ Elder Maxson now, as strange and foreign as it seemed.  
“What—what are you doing here?”  
“I could ask the same,” Stella replied with her Elder voice. It wasn’t really convincing but it was the best she had this morning. “You hiding something, Cade?”  
Cade was holding folders. He put them down on a nearby desk and sat down on a metallic chair, sighing.  
“Maybe it’s best if Proctor Ingram leaves us—” the doctor started.  
“She’s not going anywhere. So what is it, Cade? A machine that detects synths? So you can arrest them more easily?” It looked like it could be something like that. Maybe Arthur had given him orders before he left. Or maybe it was Cade’s idea. Didn’t matter. She wouldn’t tolerate that.  
Cade shook his head. The metal sounds Ingram had been doing had stopped—the Proctor was also listening.  
“I had to gather parts from Old World hospitals and—well,” Cade muttered. “I’ve been worried. About you. Lady Maxson, it’s an ultrasound machine. I have good reasons to believe you—”

The world went upside down, in just a second. Stella didn’t feel her knees hurt the floor. She didn’t quite fall, she slid down and stayed there. Her mind was empty. She knew Cade was talking to her but it was as if she couldn’t hear him, or couldn’t feel Ingram’s hand on her back. Whatever she hadn’t been able to vomit earlier suddenly seemed eager to get out of her body, but her throat was too tightly shut. Air. She’d forgotten to breathe. Her ears were ringing, her head was spinning.  
Stella felt like a fool for not seeing it earlier. Of course. It wasn’t a big surprise, her brain had simply put that thought well behind everything else. And was that not what she’d silently agreed to when she’d married Arthur? Right?  
But—now? Right _now_? Was about the worst timing she could have imagined.  
She breathed in and out, and in and out. _I am pregnant_ , she told herself. Then she thought the same words a dozen more times until they printed in her mind for good.  
Only then the world went back to normal, or at least almost normal. She had to regain her composure. She couldn’t let Cade see her like that. Later. She’d cry later. She’d lock herself in her quarters and cry, and relive her first pregnancy and miss Nate and miss Shaun.

Stella cleared her throat, looking around. Cade was looking at her, livid. He helped her up and invited her to sit down on a nearby bed. Ingram was pale too and looked like she couldn’t talk at all.  
“Ma’am,” Cade said. “I know this is a big surprise, but I must ask—when was the last time you had bleedings?”  
Stella locked her eyes on the doctor. She had to trust him. After all, he’d saved her life when that deathclaw ripped her open. On Arthur’s orders, but still.  
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It had to be before Arthur left, of course. But I don’t know for sure. I’ve never had regular periods, Cade. So I don’t keep track. But it’s been a while to say the least.”  
He nodded and turned to Ingram. They exchanged a few words but the ringing in Stella’s ears was too loud and she couldn’t follow. She only paid attention when Ingram tinkered a little bit more on Cade’s machine and he actually turned it on. It made the two lamps in the room flash on and off for a few seconds, but it seemed to be running well otherwise.  
“Uh, still need to work on that,” Ingram told her, trying to make her smile. Stella tried, but it her face wouldn’t make that smile happen.  
Cade delicately put his hands on Stella’s shoulders and made her lie down. He unzipped her armor and freed her abdomen before leaving the room.  
It wasn’t the same level of technology as the ultrasounds they’d used on her when she was pregnant with Shaun, but Cade and Ingram had done a great job with what they had. Not that it was surprising coming from Ingram—she always managed miracles.  
When Cade came back, he had a small bowl in his hand. “Oil,” he said. “May I?”  
Stella nodded and watched him as he proceeded to rub her belly with the oil. How had she not seen it before, especially with all the weight she’d lost since coming out of Vault 111? It wasn’t big and round, but there was no unseeing it now—the lump. Small. But it was definitely there. She was mostly trying not to think about Shaun too much, but it was extremely difficult. She wasn’t thinking about her first pregnancy that much—she was thinking that she’d lost the same child several times. As an infant, then as an adult, then as a synth. Life was ironic. Life was unfair. As she lost Shaun this last time, she found out there was life inside her.

“High Elder Maxson left about four months ago now,” Cade said, sliding the cold ultrasound probe on her skin. “So we should be able to see… yes. Yes there it is… no, a little more… Ingram, get the lights, will you?”  
Stella was lying down with her eyes closed. She heard the light switch, and Ingram’s heavy metallic footsteps, and a long silence.  
“Pardon me Elder,” Cade said in a low voice. “I’ve never performed an ultrasound before.”  
“Stella, don’t you—don’t you want to see?” Ingram asked. “You should look before we run out of juice.”  
Yes, probably. But Stella knew that she’d fall in love with this child the second her eyes would set on the screen, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that.  
Would Shaun forgive her if he ever came back? Would Danse forgive her? She was not even close to forget the way Danse had spent an entire night crying in her arms after her hurried wedding. What would he think of that? Would he leave forever, then? Stella didn’t think she could live without her friend.

“I’m almost certain… with at least eighteen weeks…” Cade started. “From what I can see—or rather, can’t see—yes, see, Proctor? That’s a girl.”  
Stella’s eyelids flew open and she sharply turned to the screen. There she was. Her baby. Her daughter. What she was seeing looked like an actual baby, but the image would blur several seconds before going back to normal. She was beautiful. And so small. And she was right there, in that lump Stella hadn’t seen, or had ignored, or maybe a little bit of both. She couldn’t quite hold back her tears anymore and a few of them were rolling on her stunned face.  
The screen went flashing several times and Cade turned the machine off. “It still needs some adjustments,” he apologized.  
Stella was still staring at the black monitor. _Turn it on again_ , she almost commanded. But she didn’t. She didn’t need it to explode all over the three—the four—of them.  
“Don’t tell anyone,” Stella whispered, turning to them. “Not. Anybody. That’s an order. _I_ will tell Arthur when he comes back, and then we’ll see. For now, we keep it secret.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another thank you note! i'm sorry if this is annoying but i'm so thankful for every single person who gives feedback, either here or on tumblr. <3 i've met new people and it's amazing! love you all xxx


	18. Heroes and Villains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> arthur and stella missed each other  
> a  
> lot

 

Stella

 

 

 

The last few days had mostly been about forcing food down her throat. With the help of Cade, she’d started with fruit, then vegetables, then razorgrain, then meat. She did vomit the first time she had meat, but after that it wasn’t so bad.  
Her main objective now was to put on some of the weight she’d lost. Now that he knew for sure she was pregnant, Cade kept telling her how bad it was to lose weight, but Stella already knew that. So she was doing her best to stay healthy, and she was almost sure she had managed to gain a few pounds already.

Her day was just starting and Stella was relieved not to feel nausea. She stretched and put on some casual clothes before beginning her usual shower routine. Vertibird. Airport. Long, warm shower. Vertibird. Prydwen. Her quarters.  
Everything was the same now. Then, she’d go to the command center, stand next to Kells but not talk to him that much, she’d get breakfast with Ingram but not talk much to her either, and then debrief. Where she would listen to people talk and not talk back.  
Stella still had her voice, but every time she used it, it just felt wrong. It just felt like there was a knot in her throat, like she wasn’t supposed to speak.  
Debrief was always difficult because of Recon Squad Gladius. It had lost Danse, then Rhys, and Haylen had never set foot on the Prydwen after Arthur’s orders to kill Danse. But Stella couldn’t forget the golden days of Danse’s team, when she was still part of it, how efficient they were—and how they were friends before soldiers. Now, the people on that team were strangers. Paladin Brandis didn’t want to take its lead, and Cade advised not to force him—the Paladin was still struggling with the loss of his own team. Stella would give Recon Squad Gladius to Haylen soon, and that would be a start. Make her a Paladin, too. Stella also needed to find a Sentinel.

As she was thinking about that, Ingram knocked on her door and entered. Stella was finishing putting on her armor, and the Proctor watched her slip into Arthur’s battlecoat. “This thing suits you, darling,” Ingram said, leaving their breakfast on the desk. “At least while you’re not too fat.”  
“Wow. _Wow_. Rude.” Stella shook her head and smiled. There was a reason why she hung out with Ingram so much—it was because she was funny, and always tried to make Stella feel better.  
She sat on a chair while Ingram stood up. With her power armor, she couldn’t really sit in chairs. She had brought a plate of fruit for Stella, brahmin cheese, brahmin milk and two eggs.  
“Argh,” Stella muttered. “Did Cade give you this?”  
“Yes. You need to eat that.”  
“He knows I hate this thing you post-war people call cheese. I hate this milk. I didn’t throw up this morning, but I have a feeling it’s about to change.”  
Ingram cut a piece of her deathclaw steak and swapped it for some of Stella’s cheese. That wasn’t much, but it was a little better.

“Ingram, I have a favor to ask from you,” Stella said after a few minutes of silence during which they’d been eating. “And it’s a big one.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Kells said Arthur would be back within the next days. And I needed to find a Sentinel like… yesterday. Or last month. You know.”  
Ingram let her fork fall back into her plate and she sighed, her eyes closed. She drank some lemon water from her glass and pushed her breakfast away.  
“You know I don’t want this,” Ingram pointed out. “I already said no to your dear husband.”  
“I know! But who else? It’d have to be... _Cade_?”  
Ingram looked at Stella right in the eyes. “It should be Danse. Anybody who will be given this rank who isn’t Danse doesn’t deserve it. I know it. You know it. Man, Maxson knows it too.”

That hit Stella. She tried swallowing the piece of steak she’d been chewing but it got caught in her throat and she actually had to spit it out in the cloth on her breakfast tray. It was like air was exiting her lungs but wouldn’t get back in. Her eyes burned and her hands were shaking.  
Stella closed her eyes and waited until she could breathe again. It took a few minutes, and Ingram waited too.  
“I don’t belong here, do I?” Stella’s voice was low. “How did I get here, Ingram?”  
That happened sometimes—more often now. Stella just didn’t know anymore. She was searching for a meaning in all of this, and most of the time, she couldn’t find it.  
“Oh, Stella,” Ingram began. And it was good to hear someone call her by her first name, not her rank or her new last name. Stella. The name her mother had chosen for her because she was in love not with just one star, but all of them. “The rational answer is: you answered an emergency call, enrolled in the Brotherhood, fought a war, won it at a terrible price and fell in love with your commander. That’s what happened.”  
“And the less rational answer?”  
“You got here because you do anything you can to help the people around you. Because you’ve been blessed with kindness. And now there’s a baby in your belly and you need to stay strong for her—she’ll need to be taught about kindness.”  
Stella buried her face in her hands and wept silently. It might have been her hormones, or exhaustion, or maybe Stella just needed a fucking break.

Every minute that passed, she was waiting for either Piper or MacCready to request entrance on the airport and tell her Shaun and Danse were back. It had been so long now since she had held her son or run her hand in Danse’s thick hair. Where were they and what were they up to? Could a child survive such adventure?  
“I changed my mind,” Ingram said suddenly. “I’ll be Sentinel. At least until you convince Haylen to take the job. Does that mean I get one of those shiny new bedrooms?”  
Stella knew Ingram didn’t give a shit about her quarters right now, but she admired her friend’s ability to make her smile even in a moment like this.  
“Thank God I can get off this ship,” Ingram went on. “I won’t have to listen to you and Mister High Elder Husband going at it every night. You do know we can hear the bed squeak, right?”  
Stella burst into laughter but blushed a little. But she promised to herself that one day—and it could take thirty years that it wouldn’t matter—Danse would be her Sentinel.

A week after that, Stella was in Quinlan’s office discussing various problems he had with the database when Kells came in person to get her.  
“Elder, you have to come.” He was smiling, which was extremely unusual. Intrigued, she followed him into the command center and he showed the window to her. She didn’t see anything at first, until he gently pushed her forward and she turned her head to the left.  
There was an aircraft incoming. It looked like a vertibird, except a little bigger. Stella’s heart came to a stop for a whole five seconds before pumping harder than ever.  
Arthur.

She turned to Kells who still had a smile on his face.  
“You’ll have to pledge allegiance, remember?” he asked.  
“Yeah, sure.” She remembered the short custom he had explained a few weeks ago.  
She radioed Ingram. As Sentinel, she would have to be there.  
Stella stood on the flight deck with her and Kells, waiting for the High Elder. The big vertibird attached itself onto the Prydwen. It was impressive, but Stella just couldn’t give a shit about it right now.  
A side door opened, but it wasn’t Arthur behind it. It was a man who appeared to be the pilot.  
“Elder, Captain, requesting permission to enter the Boston airport in the name of High Elder Arthur Maxson,” he announced with an official voice.  
Normally, Kells would be the one to say it, but he briefly turned to Stella and nodded. She raised her chin and straightened her shoulders and back—although her back was hurting like hell today.  
“Permission granted, Sergeant,” she said with a voice she was trying to be convincing.  
The pilot withdrew and Ingram put her hand on Stella’s back, just a second, just to show her some support.

Then he was there. Arthur. He looked the same, except maybe more imposing than before. He was a little more cleanly shaven and had what was probably High Elder armor—it looked like the Elder one, except a higher collar and more steel on its black fabric. Over that, he wore a new coat, not unlike the one she was wearing at this moment because it was long and seemed to be armored, but it was darker and a little less loose around his body.  
He was handsome.  
And all that Stella wanted to do was run and jump into his arms, smell him again, kiss him.  
But, no.  
She was the Elder, he was the High Elder, and all around them now were high ranked officers, and there was probably a crowd watching from the airport, too.  
She cleared her throat, bit her lip noticing Arthur’s repressed smile, and walked forwards to meet him in between. The wind was strong today.

“Welcome back,” she said, “to the Prydwen, home of the Eastern chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel. As the Elder, I pledge allegiance to you, High Elder, and promise the faithfulness and devotion of my chapter to your command.”  
She knelt before him—not without pain, but she shut her mouth tight and didn’t let a sound escape it. And after all, she had dropped on her knees in front of him several times before, only in more private moments.  
Arthur’s hand touched her shoulder, then grabbed her arm and helped her up. He smiled, a real smile.  
“Stella.” He didn’t say anything else for several seconds. Then he took her face in his big, rough hands and kissed her. She knew they shouldn’t be doing this, but Stella wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Their lips parted and their tongues met again. His mouth tasted sweet, fruity, but nothing she could name precisely. Something foreign.  
When she pressed herself against him and his hand went into her hair, somebody coughed loudly behind, bringing them both back to reality. But the heat between Stella’s legs wouldn’t be easy to ignore.  
She pulled herself away from him, but he locked his arm around her waist.  
“Ingram,” he said. “That paint on your power armor…”  
“Yes, High Elder,” Ingram replied with a grin. “Your wife can be very persuasive.”  
The small group around them laughed. Arthur saluted his other high ranked soldiers, but gave them a friendly clap in the back after. He was… so different.

Stella had expected for him to come back colder, his head filled with the new responsibilities he had.  
“It’s an honor to have you back aboard,” Kells said. “Sir, as soon as I saw your aircraft, I ordered for a great cookout to be done. Down, at the airport.”  
“Perfect, I was starving.” Arthur smiled as they all moved to get onto a vertibird that would take them down. He let everyone go first so he could stay behind with her, holding her hand. “You’re gorgeous,” he whispered after kissing her briefly. “I missed you.”  
“I missed you too.” Stella’s voice broke, revealing her concealed restlessness. “Can we talk?”  
“After we eat, beautiful. It’s the customs, okay?”  
“I know.” She was just muttering at this point, but she followed him into an already crowded vertibird. Stella was impatient. After all, there was a secret inside her—literally. And she couldn’t wait to share it with her husband.

The airport smelled delicious. It’d been a long time since Stella actually craved for meat—Arthur, chivalrous, gave her the first steak. They sat at a table in the cafeteria and enjoyed their food while several people came to Arthur, congratulating him, shaking his hand. He seemed humble. Actually, he was being the most humble she had ever seen him, and that made her want him more.  
It still took a solid hour and a half before they were left alone, kind of. There were still people all around, but Stella pushed her plate away and slipped her hand under the table, brushing it on Arthur’s thigh. He stiffened, his cheeks pink, and shook his head.  
“Stella,” he mouthed. She couldn’t hear his voice with all the drunken singing around, but she recognized her name on his lips.  
“Am I not allowed a private meeting with my High Elder?” she asked, her hand well between his legs, cupping his growing erection.  
“Of course.” He looked around. “Let’s go.”

They got up and tried to leave the cafeteria with as much stealth as they could, but Stella saw Teagan and Ingram watching them from the other side of the room, and Ingram gave Stella the thumbs up.  
Neither of them spoke before they were on the empty ship. They stopped for a second on the command deck, remembering the first night they’d spent together here, then she hurried him into their quarters and locked the door behind her.  
When she faced Arthur again, he was taking off his coat and hanging it on a chair. He looked at her and frowned.  
“I didn’t want to talk about that in front of everybody,” he started. “But you look sick, Stella.”  
“I’m not sick.” Not really, at least. The idea of losing her son again was eating her alive, but she was fighting. Except, she couldn’t talk about Shaun. Not to Arthur.  
She kept the coat on.  
“We need to—you need to get checked up by Cade,” Arthur went on. She looked at his face, noticing wrinkles around his eyes and on his forehead that weren’t there when he left. She touched them, softly.  
“Cade has already been looking into it,” Stella said with a hushed voice. “I’m okay, Arthur.”

He kissed her hard. Stella moaned into his mouth, her hands already playing with the zipper of his armor. But she made herself stop and walk back. When he tried to kiss her again, she shook her head and turned away.  
“Close your eyes,” she said.  
He looked at her, puzzled, but eventually complied to that order.

 

 

Maxson

 

 

With his eyes closed, it seemed he was more aware of everything around him. Of how his quarters smelled like Stella now, a nice, feminine smell. He was also extremely aware of how hard he was already—he had missed fucking her. All those months alone had left him hungry and longing.  
He heard clothes being moved around. Hers, no doubt. Stella was undressing for him. He bit his lip with anticipation.  
“Arthur,” Stella said when the silence came back. “Do you think—do you think we’re the villains?”  
Arthur hadn’t seen movies like she had, and Stella talked about those all the time. But he had read books, novels, and he knew the concept of villains, but he had never even thought about being anything other than the hero of a story. Although it was difficult focusing on the conversation and not on his crotch, he answered. He kept his eyes closed.  
“How can we be the villains? I don’t get it.”  
“We killed so many people, Arthur.”  
“It was all for the greater good. Stella, shit. Are you sure you’re okay?”  
“I just keep asking myself if there’s anything I could ever do to redeem myself.” She was barely whispering, but he could hear her very clearly in the complete silence of the empty vessel. “I wonder what my legacy will be.”  
“Stella. Look around you. I know you haven’t been out of the Commonwealth, but everywhere you will go, you’ll see cruelty and betrayal and death. We don’t live in the same world as the one in which you’re born. The line between hero and villain—it’s very thin.”  
She didn’t reply. Not yet. He listened to her breath, heavy and fast.  
“You can look, now.”

He opened his eyes. She had turned her back, so he was seeing her round, stunning ass. She was completely naked, and so, so much slimmer than when he had left. She was sick, there was no denying of that.  
But then she turned around. He looked at her breasts first, pink and beautiful, but then… There was something different. Her whole body was different, of course, because she had been obviously sick and malnourished, but—.  
She stood, waiting, her arms on either side of her.  
Could it be...  
“Arthur. I’m pregnant,” Stella with a low voice.  
It felt as if a deathclaw hit him in the chest. Arthur’s legs failed him and he found himself with his knees to the floor. What he had hoped in his wildest dreams was actually real. His wife, Stella, was pregnant. She was—there was their baby inside her. Right now.  
She walked to him, trying to get him up, but Arthur didn’t move. He put his head against the lump on her belly, letting a few tears run down his face.  
He would not be the last Maxson anymore.  
“It’s a girl,” she added. “She’s… she’s perfectly healthy as far as we know.”  
He kissed the lump, tenderly, lovingly.  
“Thank you,” he whispered. “Stella, I love you.”  
She was crying too, he heard it in her voice. “I love you too.”  
His hands were on her thighs. He kissed the lump again, then slid down a few inches. When he put his lips on her sex, she moaned, raising her leg and putting it over his shoulder. Arthur didn’t wait—he had waited months for this. He buried his face between her legs, eating her out, drinking her. She was wet. He licked her hole, gently at first, then moved up to find her clit. She let out a cry and he smiled. As loud as she’d ever been.  
Exactly how he loved her.  
But as Stella was rolling her hips to meet with his tongue, Arthur figured it might be dangerous for her to stand. What if she fell down? He would not allow that. Could not allow that.  
He got on his feet and lifted her easily, then softly lied her in their bed. She spread her legs open and he watched her finger herself as he was undressing. When she saw his cock, her toes curled and her free hand clutched the sheets firmly.

It had been so long. Arthur didn’t wait and knelt on the bed. She stopped fingering herself and he grabbed her hand to lick her fingers, tasting her again. His cock was throbbing.  
Careful not to put his weight on her, he guided himself inside her, rubbing the head of his shaft on her clit before thrusting inside. She moaned his name, rolling her hips again, and Arthur felt the pressure building for both of them. They had missed each other.  
He fucked her slow, making sure not to go too deep, but Stella was always arching her back to amplify his moves.  
“Don’t we have to be careful?” he asked her, his hand on the lump that was their baby.  
“Arthur, it’s okay. You’re not going to hurt her.” She wrapped her legs around his hips, and he went as deep as he could.

Stella’s eyes were rolling at the back of her head. Arthur kissed her and she bit his lip.  
He kissed her breast and sucked on her nipple, but it didn’t take long before she grabbed his head to kiss him again. “My tits are sore as hell,” she moaned into his mouth.  
Someday, he would get to sit and watch his wife breastfeed their child.

That vision he had—Stella breastfeeding—it made Arthur lose control of what he was doing. He forgot himself a little and lifted Stella’s hips, fucking her more urgently. He was back here, back in the Commonwealth, a place he considered like home now, and he had a hell of a reason to do so. That reason was now his wife, and the mother of his future child, and—fuck—her pussy was shockingly wet, and tight, and good. And she was getting louder with every thrust he gave, and that’s the only thing that brought him back to reality. Arthur slowly came to a stop, but Stella’s hips went on. She grunted, looking almost offended, and Arthur felt a wave of euphoria flooding him. How did this happen? How did he get here? How did he get to deserve to fuck this woman after he made her wipe out her own son? Not to mention the two synths she loved so much. How was she here, in his bed, bearing his child?

Arthur had taken a few seconds to ponder on all those things, and Stella, frustrated, gave a push with her leg and shoved him on the side, then had him lie down. He was always surprised when she showed that much strength but made sure she never knew that.  
It wasn’t because she was a woman, but she was so small and he definitely wasn’t.  
He was on his back. Stella was kneeling over him now, grinding on his thigh. She was so goddamn wet.  
Stella leaned over his face and kissed him hard, only for a few seconds before she took his cock in her hands, guided him inside her and sank onto him. Without skipping a beat, she rolled her hips, riding him urgently, her head tilted back. Every thrust brought Arthur closer to climax, but he was determined to see her get her release first. And she did.

When she came, she screamed his name, her juices flowing on his cock. He came too, just after, while she was still tight around him, the spasms too good for him to last any longer. His cum filled her up and she sighed, lying on top of him, keeping him inside her.  
“Pre-war people believed in heaven, didn’t they?” Arthur asked, wrapping his arms around her.  
“Mhmm.” Her eyes were closed. She lazily rose her hips, finally letting go of his cock. He might have been up to fuck again, but she was obviously tired. And, actually, he was as well. “Are you gonna tell me my pussy is heaven or something?” Stella rested her head on his chest.  
“Uh, something like that,” Arthur admitted. “I missed you, Stella.”  
“You missed me, or my pussy?”  
“Both.” 

She laughed lightly, her eyes still closed. Her wetness had scattered on his lower stomach now, sticky and lukewarm and they were both covered in sweat, but Arthur couldn’t remember a time in his life when he had been happier.  
“I love you,” he said into her ear.  
“I love you too, High Elder,” she muttered, adjusting her head inside his neck. “And if you must to know, I missed your cock, too.”  
They laughed together, but Stella fell asleep almost as soon as he started tracing random lines in her back. For a second, only for a second, Arthur considered getting up, clean up a little and join his soldiers again but—no. Tonight he would stay with his wife, her body pressed against his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! thank you sooo much to everybody for all the feedback. i'm so happy. <3 heart you! xxx


	19. F. Sergeant Rhys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> arthur has to deal with everything that happened while he was out of the commonwealth. but he's growing up and all. mister high elder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's coming to an end! just a few chapters left!! i keep the end in mind because the reason i'm writing ALL of that is because of ONE post i made on tumblr describing an endgame i imagined and a lot of people told me to write the story SO I DID IT. 
> 
> but i want to say a big thank you to everyone who's still reading this somehow?? y'all amazing. i love you!! <3 <3 <3

 

Arthur

 

 

 

Arthur turned off the water, wrapped a towel around his waist and left the small shower cabin for the the larger changing room. He could only hear one other shower being used, and at this hour in the morning, there was no doubt it was occupied by Captain Kells. Arthur dried himself quickly and put on some clothes—his new armor and his new coat—before throwing the used towel and the clothes he’d been wearing before on his shoulder.  
“See you later for debrief, Captain,” he called into the empty room.  
“See you, High Elder,” Kells replied from his shower cabin.

Arthur returned to the main part of the facilities building, hesitated for a few seconds and entered the cafeteria when he got near it. The cafeteria officers saluted him formally, but he talked with them a little. A young boy and a young girl, both relatively new into the organization, but happy to be doing what they were doing. He encouraged them to keep up the good work and grabbed some food for himself. He asked for some breakfast to be brought to Stella in about half an hour, when she’d be up, and the young woman behind the counter offered him a sorry smile.  
“Sir,” she said. “We—we deliver breakfast to your wife every morning, on Knight-Captain Cade’s orders.”  
“Oh, pardon me. It _will_ take some time for me to adjust. Thank you for your good service.” Arthur nodded to both of them, and soon was on his way up to the ship again. He talked some more with the pilot who attached the vertibird to the Prydwen, then to almost everyone he met in the hallway.

It felt good to be here. It felt good to have conversations with his soldiers.  
He considered the door to his quarters, but decided otherwise. He wanted to read some of the reports that had been written while he was gone—there were hundreds of them, but Kells and Quinlan had conveniently compiled the most important ones on a series of holotapes. He only needed a terminal. He figured he might just use the one that was in Stella’s old room.  
He sat at that desk five minutes later, after quickly finishing his breakfast and getting the holotapes from Quinlan’s office. He also made a quick trip into his own quarters, where Stella was still asleep, to get his reading glasses.

There were at least 50 of those holotapes, each surely containing dozens of pages. This would take a long, long time.  
Arthur sighed, and proceeded to look through the box. Most of the holotapes had been marked with either dates, names, or short descriptions. Even without actually reading the reports, Arthur learned Teagan had been gotten into a fight, Cade had forgotten to wake up one morning and several confrontations with raiders had happened. One holotape, however, grabbed his attention, however. On it, in Kells’ handwriting, was written “F. Sergeant Rhys”. F. Sergeant Rhys? What did that mean?  
Arthur loaded the holotape into the terminal and opened the report. It had been redacted by Kells a few weeks ago.

> Today, former Sergeant Rhys and his team came back to the ship from a simple recon mission around Concord with three prisoners. Former Sergeant Rhys was flying in a vertibird over Concord when he thought he saw Former Paladin Danse in the nearby small settlement called Sanctuary Hills. In spite of the direct order never to fly over it, let alone land there, Rhys brought his team to the settlement and attacked.  
>  He came back without Former Paladin Danse, claiming he had seen him flee with a young child of the age from 8 to 12. The three prisoners weren’t hostile. Two synths and a ghoul. Elder Stella Maxson reminded Rhys of his insubordination, but Rhys insisted he was in the right. Elder Maxson decided to lock Rhys in a cell and take his rank from him. She returned the three prisoners to Sanctuary herself.  
>  UPDATE  
>  I personally sent a recon team in the surroundings following those events. No one has seen a man that might look like Former Paladin Danse, or even a child. Either Rhys was right and these people are gone, or he lied altogether. Elder Maxson eventually approved of sending a soldier to question the inhabitants of the settlement, but they insisted Danse had never been there, and that there was no child there either.  
>  UPDATE  
>  Case is closed. If Danse was ever in Sanctuary, he is gone. The child is gone too.

Arthur stared at the screen for several minutes after he was done reading. He absentmindedly removed his glasses and left them on the desk, his mind numb and blurred.  
Gone.  
So many thoughts rushed into his head at once that he couldn’t make out anything at first. He felt everything from pity, sorrow and relief. With Danse and the synth child officially gone, he, Arthur, had Stella for himself. She had no reason to ever leave that airport and spend several days away from him.  
But, coming from a man who had left her for four months while she was pregnant with his child, that was excessively selfish. And he knew it.  
Arthur buried his face into his hands, feeling the roughness of his beard on his skin.  
Stella loved that. She loved feeling that on her thighs. How many times had she told him that?

He wondered if she still hated him, like she had promised to. There was no way she had forgiven him, and he knew she loved him, but—what were her deepest feelings? She had taken his name without hesitation, and was now fulfilling his duties remarkably well, but—fuck. _What had he done?_  
Part of him wanted to jump out of this chair and get back into bed with Stella, and just hold her. Smell her. Kiss her soft lips, even though they weren’t as soft as they had been. But instead of doing that, he slowly rose from his seat, pushed the chair back under the desk, took his glasses off and delicately put away the box of holotapes in a drawer, then he left the room.

The ship was way more busy at this time of the day. Lots of soldiers either getting to the showers or returning from them, preparing for their daily assignments. Quinlan approached him, asking if he’d seen some of the reports but Arthur shook his head and didn’t even stop for one second to talk to him.  
He made his way to the airport, then the main building, the one that had the prison cells. It was in much better shape than when he’d left, and soon he should take time to look at it more closely, but not this morning.

Paladin Brandis was guarding the entrance and saluted him. Arthur gave him a nod and looked over the Paladin’s shoulder to look at the empty hallway behind him.  
“Good morning, Sir,” Brandis said. “What can I do to help?”  
“I’m here to see Rhys,” Arthur replied.  
“Ah. Yes. Follow me, Sir.”  
Brandis pivoted and led him through the hallway. They came to a stop a few doors down. Arthur waited while Brandis was looking for the right key and unlocked the door.  
“Need me to stay around, High Elder?” he asked, a hand on his laser pistol.  
“No. Thank you, Paladin.”  
Brandis nodded and walked back. Arthur took a deep breath and entered the cell.

It was a small room, with concrete walls and floor, and only a small window high in the left wall. It didn’t let much light in, but there was a small lamp on a shitty desk that was on, and Arthur found Rhys skinnier looking. The former Sergeant was sitting on his bed, a book in his hands, his face stripped from the smug expression Arthur had always known him with. When he saw him, Rhys put the book down and stood immediately, offering a shaky salute.  
“Elder,” he said. “High Elder,” Rhys corrected himself just after.  
“You don’t have to salute me,” Arthur pointed out. “You are no longer a soldier, after all.”  
Rhys opened his mouth but relaxed his shoulders. He lazily let himself fall back into bed, where he sat comfortably.  
“I know why you’re here, Maxson,” Rhys said. He seemed to be enjoying not calling him by his title—not surprising coming from Rhys. “You’re here for the synth, and your wife’s synth son.”  
“You’re here because of the same reason, aren’t you?” Arthur snapped back. “You deserve your punishment. I left a clear order not to approach Sanctuary. You disobeyed. I will have you banned from the whole Commonwealth.”  
“Sure, whatever. I don’t care. If I ever come across the synth, I’ll kill him though. Strange how you swore he was dead. Right, Maxson? Isn’t it just _strange_? Or maybe—maybe you lied to defend the synth lover that your wife is.”  
Arthur pushed the chair in front of him aside and went for Rhys. He grabbed his collar and effortlessly lifted him until he was standing, then pushed him against the wall.  
“I could kill you,” Arthur muttered.  
“You could. But you must know by now that people are already talking, right? Covering over and over, making arrangements, all in the sake of your wife’s synth friends. People are talking, Maxson. They know what is up. They know. Even from here, I hear the whispers. Are you sure that baby inside her is yours, Maxson? Or is it the synth’s—assuming his balls are up for that?”  
Arthur had too often thought of Danse lying over Stella, fucking her deeply, and Rhys’ words resonated through him like thunder. He raised his fist and punched the former Sergeant right in the face. Rhys spit some blood on Arthur’s face, infuriating him even more, and he tried to hit back but Arthur was stronger than he was.

He knew that Stella and Danse had never been together. He was still jealous of him. Crazy jealous. Because she cared for him in a way he had never seen. In a way she would never care for him. Arthur knew the child Stella was bearing was his and not Danse’s, but he couldn’t let Rhys talk to him like that. Talk about Stella like that.

“Okay, okay, I see,” Rhys said with a laugh, his face bloody. “Are you going to kill me, Maxson, or do you want to hear what I have to say?”  
“Say about what? All you seem good at, Rhys, is insulting either me or my wife—or my unborn child.”  
“I don’t know what you’ve heard, but if you’ve heard Kells’ version of the events, you’re missing a large piece of the puzzle. I’m just saying. I’ll tell you everything if you let me and Jones out, and allowing us to stay in the ‘Wealth. Deal?”  
Arthur let go of Rhys even though he strongly wanted to straight up beat the life out of him. He stared into his eyes. He’d hear what he had to say and if he wasn’t satisfied, he could still ban both him and Jones. Or kill them. It wouldn’t be a great loss.  
“Speak,” Arthur urged. “Now.”

“When we were there. At Sanctuary. I was following the synth—I’d just seen him pick up the kid and run. I found them in a house, quickly gathering items and clothes, and water. I watched them without them seeing me, and Danse told the kid they were heading for the Mojave. Said he knew a few spots where they might be safe. The kid was crying. Said he couldn’t leave his mom. He only followed the synth when Danse told him she might just get hanged for treason if either of them were found. Gotta say, the synth was right about that. So I shot at Danse, just in the leg because I wanted to catch him alive. I missed. He shot back and got me at the shoulder. They outran me.”  
It took a few seconds for Arthur’s brain to process that information. The Mojave was a long, long way from here. Even with Danse, there was no way Shaun had survived that journey on foot.

Arthur thought of Stella, and how she would most likely never hold her son again. He didn’t feel any pain, not directly at least. How would she react? Should he tell her at all? _No_ , he thought. He had no reason to reveal any detail. At least not while she was pregnant. Maybe, in a few months, or years, he would tell her that his son had been headed for the Mojave Wasteland. It wouldn’t change anything, but it might soothe her to know what he had intended to do. After all, it wasn’t Stella’s fault if her real son had created this fake version of himself and thrown it at her face. Of course she was going to love it. Or him, whatever. Even if the child wasn’t real. Even if his emotions weren’t actual emotions, just… lines of codes that someone at the Institute had carefully programmed and implanted in its head. It wasn’t Stella’s fault. And Arthur loved her.  
But he didn’t miss Danse, and he didn’t miss the synth child either.

Completely ignoring Rhys at this point, Arthur came out of the cell and said goodbye to Brandis as the Paladin locked the door, but he was very distracted. He was thinking of what Stella had told him just the day before. About how she thought they were the villains.  
And how she was married with a man she hated. And how he was the reason the people she loved had ran away.  
For a split second, High Elder Arthur Maxson hated himself. For bringing so much pain to the woman he loved. But it really only lasted a split second before he regained his composure and was fully himself again.  
He couldn’t afford feeling like that. He couldn’t even afford thinking about that. Because, it didn’t matter. Those synths didn’t matter. Arthur had to focus on what was really important: the Brotherhood, and his family.  
He just hoped that Stella would be happy even if it was very possible that she would never see her son again.


	20. She gets to say goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stella is becoming more comfortable and confident with her title, but a little less with her body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I HAVE NOT UPDATED THIS IN FOREVER...  
> i am...... so sorry... i let my modern au take over me and..... wow... i apologize............... 
> 
> you dont have to forgive me....

 

Stella

 

 

 

It just seemed to Stella that she weighed at least a ton by now. She didn’t fit in her armor anymore. Well, they did make it in other sizes and she had tried to put one on, but it was excessively uncomfortable. Her breasts just hurt so damn much. The armor was too tight, even in the larger size they made, so she just had just dressed herself with Arthur’s casual clothes for a while, until Ingram came back from a field mission one day with a pregnancy dress. Stella had owned one of those when she was pregnant with Shaun, and even if the one Ingram had brought her wasn’t in pristine condition, Stella loved it. It was yellow and pink, and Stella did not look too big.   
And it felt good.

She still walked around the Prydwen, giving out commands and maintaining order, and doing so in a loose dress that made her look like an actual doll was strangely satisfying. Even if her emotions were like a roller coaster, Stella managed to keep herself together.   
Most of the time, at least.

Stella sighed as the shower stopped by itself after five minutes. When showers had been installed, soldiers had been trusted to use them carefully for about five to seven minutes at a time. But of course, that rule wasn’t respected most of the time. So Stella had no other choice but to have Ingram and her team install timers. And it was awful. It was terrible. They were also building custom quarters for the High Elder, the Elder and their future child, and Stella was more excited about this than she let it show. It would be nice to live at ground level again, and not live in the fear of the Prydwen killing her, her family and its entire crew.

With her Elder password she might have been able to overrule the five minutes timer on the terminal—and with Arthur’s, which she knew, there was no doubt she could have done it, but Stella also wanted to give a good example, so she wrapped her gigantic body in a towel that was too small for her and stepped out of the shower.   
The changing room wasn’t too packed with people, but a few soldiers still side-eyed Stella as she let the towel fall down to her ankles. She knew that those young women hadn’t seen pregnant women very often in their life—chances to become pregnant were very thin in the Commonwealth. Some were probably impressed, others disgusted, and some were jealous, there was no doubt about that. Jealous because Stella was pregnant, and with Arthur’s baby specifically—his looks didn’t go unnoticed. It was even worse now that he was High Elder. And Stella had to admit he was looking great lately. Trimmed his beard with more concern, worked out a lot. And he was glowing. He was so happy. So content.

And Stella wasn’t dumb—she knew Arthur wasn’t so happy just because he was going to be a father, or because he was High Elder—it was because Danse and Shaun were gone.   
Thinking about them so early in the morning made her dizzy. She didn’t need to cry right now, she could not cry in front of her soldiers.   
She realized she had dropped the white shorts she wore as underwear, but before she could even bend down to grab it, someone had jumped in front of her to help.   
It was a young woman with strawberry blonde hair, and big, blue eyes.

“Haylen?” Stella gasped, passing the dress over her head to put it on. “What are you doing here?”   
Ever since Danse had been revealed a synth, Haylen had been in the airport no more than two or three times. She was now a Sergeant at the head of Recon Squad Gladius, after Rhys had been imprisoned, but it was a total surprise to see her today.   
“I’ve been asked by the High Elder himself to come for a visit,” Haylen replied. She had a soft smile, and Stella hadn’t seen her smile for a very long time. “I must say, Elder, you’re very… pregnant.” Haylen chuckled.   
Stella laughed too, sitting down to put on her underwear and socks. While she wore that light, cute dress, she still wore her combat boots. It gave her a very unusual look, to say the least. But it wasn’t like she had a choice and could go shopping for shoes. “About six months in now,” Stella said.   
On top of that, Stella put on Maxson’s coat. Haylen stared at her and shook her head, laughing with her. “You look amazing, Elder” she said jokingly.

They left the building. It was a bright, beautiful day, with not a single cloud in the sky. Stella breathed in. The air didn’t smell the same as it had before Vault 111, but she was getting used to it now. To her left, a team was taking care of minor fixes on Liberty Prime. Ingram, sitting on top of the robot’s head, waved at them.   
“How is she doing?” Haylen asked. “As Sentinel?”   
“It annoys the hell out of her,” Stella sighed. “Takes too much of her time. Arthur and I agree that we need to find someone else, especially now that we’re going to be parents. This baby will take a lot of our time, and we need people we can trust on the field and in command of the ship.”   
“Then that must be why I’m here,” Haylen pointed out.   
“Most likely,” Stella admitted as they stepped into a vertibird to get to the ship. “Arthur trusts you. And so do I.”   
Haylen’s expression hardened and she looked away as the vertibird was taking off. “I don’t know how you do it, Elder.”   
“Do what?” Stella had asked, but she knew exactly what Haylen meant to say.   
“Be with him. Trust him. Love him.” Haylen’s voice was low, even though there was no way the pilot could have heard what they were saying. “He wanted to kill Danse.”   
Stella wanted to reply something to Haylen, only she didn’t know what. She waited until the vertibird was safely attached to the Prydwen and she climbed off, followed by Haylen. Both of them received formal salutations, but instead of heading into the ship, Stella went the other way and leaned over the railing of a deserted section of the flight deck. Haylen sat on a nearby wooden crate and touched the fabric of Stella’s dress as it flew in the hard wind.

The flight deck was—surprisingly—the best place to have a secret conversation in the whole Boston airport. While it was almost impossible not to be seen, it was the best place not to be heard. With the wind that always blew strongly and the many vertibirds that came and went—there was no other spot that offered so much privacy, not even the High Elder’s quarters.   
“Every day,” Stella explained, “every hour, every minute and every second, I think about that. I think about how much of a hypocrite I am, how much I never deserved Danse’s friendship and Shaun’s love. And how all of that means I don’t deserve the little girl who’s growing inside me.”   
Haylen, who had been staring at the horizon, was now looking at her, a sad look on her face. Stella put her hands on her round stomach, and almost as if she wanted to respond, her baby moved inside her. It wasn’t a proper kick, it felt more like a flutter, a tickle, and it made Stella smile for a brief moment.   
“But you love him,” Haylen retorted.   
“Arthur is cruel, and merciless, and I would lie if I said I don’t often think about just leaving—not only this ship, the Commonwealth I mean—but I do love him. The reason I’m still here, and the reason why his daughter is growing inside me is because…” Stella couldn’t find the right words. She breathed deeply, looking down at the water shining under the bright sun. She remembered the flowers Arthur had given her a long time ago, when he was trying so desperately to win her heart—or rather, to make her hate him a little less. Well it had worked, hadn’t it?   
“We don’t have to talk about this, Elder,” Haylen said hurriedly. “We really don’t.”  
“We have to, and call me Stella.” Stella turned to her, regretting a little using her commanding voice on Haylen. “I will not have you thinking I’m blind to Arthur’s flaws. And, God, he has so many. And every day I’m scared he will teach them to our child. But Arthur’s biggest flaw is his last name, Haylen, and he can’t help that. He can’t help the upbringing he received. It still doesn’t excuse just how _brutal_ he can be, yet I believe he’s changing. But if you gave him another family name, he would be a totally different person. He was raised to think he’s a savior. Is he an asshole? Of course he is. You know that, Haylen, and I know it too. Besides, I still haven’t forgiven him for treating Danse the way he did. I don’t think I ever will.”

Haylen breathed deeply and nervously stretched her neck.   
“I’m sorry, El—Stella,” she sighed, “for bringing this up. I just…”   
“I understand why you resent me, Haylen. I know how strongly you felt for Danse. But I can’t give you a better explanation than that. Arthur is flawed, I love him regardless, and I still struggle with my inner, secret hatred for him.”   
The Sergeant got up from her crate and stood in front of Stella, hesitating for a few seconds, but then embracing her. Just a quick hug, just to show her that she was maybe forgiving her a little.   
“Let’s go inside,” Haylen said. “There’s too much wind here, I don’t want you to get sick. Cade would probably kill me.”

Stella chuckled and she led the way inside. They were greeted by Kells, who was preparing for an informal walk around the airport to see if everything was okay. He informed them that Arthur was in the command center.

“Stella,” Arthur said with a smile when he saw her. “Sergeant Haylen, it’s a pleasure to have you on board,” he added.   
“High Elder,” Haylen replied stiffly, her eyes going from Arthur to Stella, wondering what she was supposed to say. Because, obviously, the pleasure wasn’t mutual. “Congratulations on your new rank, and, uh, becoming a parent.”   
Arthur smiled and gestured her to sit. He sat too, and Stella did the same. She was hungry though.   
“I know it must look like I asked you to be here so you would become Sentinel,” Arthur said. “But it’s not for that. I’m afraid the reason you’re here is not nearly as amusing. Today, I’m sending former Sergeants Rhys and Jones away—and banning them from the Commonwealth. I thought it would be courteous to allow you to speak to Rhys one last time, knowing that you two used to be close.”   
The color drained from Haylen’s face who opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out of it for at least ten seconds.   
“Sir,” she managed, her lips shaking. “May I be excused?”   
“Yes,” Arthur replied. “You can find him in his cell, surely someone can guide you there. You’ll have an hour. Then it will be time.”   
Haylen left the room, avoiding Stella’s eyes.

“Did she love him?” Arthur asked after a short while. A stupid question.   
“Probably,” Stella replied. She did not want to go into details, not right now, but there was no denying Haylen did have some kind of romantic feelings for Rhys—at least, before he was responsible for Danse’s complete disappearance from the Commonwealth. Haylen would never, ever forget Rhys for disobeying that very strict order and pushing Danse and Shaun out of the Commonwealth.   
“Was it a bad idea to ask her to come here today, then?”   
“No.” Stella swallowed her tears and avoided Arthur’s eyes. “Because she gets to say goodbye.”   
The silence in the room became so heavy Stella had trouble finding air. She breathed in and out, and ultimately turned her head to see her husband.   
He didn’t look apologetic, but she knew he was well aware of the message she had just sent to him.   
Arthur ‘tsked’, but not in annoyance. If he hadn’t been Arthur Maxson, Stella would have said he looked embarrassed, but he was Arthur Maxson, and she knew him too well to let herself be foolish enough and think that he cared at all about Shaun or Danse.   
“You can kill him,” Arthur said when the silence lingered for too long and became unbearable. “Rhys.”

Shit. In Arthur’s language that meant, Rhys was wrong, that meant, it shouldn’t have happened this way.   
Or did it?   
Because Arthur was in love with her and Stella knew it well. He loved her more than anything, and he would step over his pride for her. Well, he wouldn’t go as far as giving Danse his pardon and accepting him and Shaun in the Brotherhood, but if he thought Stella might find some kind of revenge, some peace, in the act of killing Rhys, he would let her do it even if it had been decided he was to be banned with Jones.   
Killing Rhys wouldn’t help. Killing Jones wouldn’t help. Hell, giving birth to her daughter wouldn’t help.   
None of this would bring Shaun back. None of this would bring Danse back.   
“No.” Stella closed her hand in a fist. With the other hand, she touched her gigantic stomach. “I’m not going to kill him, and neither will you. He’ll leave, and that will be all.”   
If she was true to herself, Stella would have shot the son of a bitch in the chest, or maybe in the knees and then in the chest, but she didn’t want Arthur to find any relief from that—and she knew he would. So she would let Rhys and Jones go, and she would go back at her daily routine: wait for Shaun, wait for Danse, be pregnant.

Later that day, a vertibird took her and Haylen to the southern border of the Commonwealth. Another vertibird landed just after theirs. Arthur came out of it first, followed by Rhys and Jones and two Sergeants keeping their rifles on the prisoners.   
Arthur asked the two Sergeants to retreat, which they did reluctantly, and the remaining party walked on the deserted highway just a few seconds.   
It was Arthur who undid the rope holding Rhys and Jones’ wrists.   
“If you do a move, I will end you,” he warned in a low voice.   
More silence. The sky was still blue.   
“Now what?” asked Jones.   
“Now you walk that way and never come back, or else you’ll be killed.”   
Haylen stood with her shoulders straight and her chin up, but Stella was slouching. Her back hurt.   
“Wait,” Stella interrupted. “I’ll have a word with them. Privately.”   
Arthur blinked several times. “Stella.”   
Stella sighed. She knew what Arthur was thinking—that if any of these two idiots decided to, they could give one good kick at the right place and that was it for their future child. Yes, she knew.   
“You two,” she said at the two prisoners. “Walk.” She took Arthur’s rifle from his belt and followed them, ignoring the expression on her husband’s face.   
Everybody knew that if he was the High Elder, he still didn’t have the spine to live up to it, or to his last name.

“I always knew you had it in you,” Jones said when they were out of earshot. “To control him.”   
“Shut up,” Stella hissed, hitting him in the back with Arthur’s weapon. “Now listen to me. Where are you two headed?”   
They looked at each other. They didn’t seem to know. It didn’t matter. “Whatever,” Stella went on hurriedly. “If you encounter Danse, or my son, can you please deliver a message?”   
“What?”   
“Tell them I’m waiting for them, and tell them they can come back now. I’ll handle Arthur.”   
Jones looked like he was going to joke about the many ways she did, indeed, handle the High Elder, but he didn’t. Rhys was deep in thought. He was squinting.   
“And what tells you we won’t just…” Rhys started, but instead of saying it, he mimed a gun with his fingers and pulled an invisible trigger.   
“Nothing.” Stella looked back at Arthur. Next to him, Haylen seemed so small. Was that how she looked, too? Like she was standing in the shadow of a king? “But if you have some humanity left, you’ll do it. Now just go.”   
She pushed them both towards their destination, but waited until they were several feet away before she walked back to the vertibirds. She watched the two walk away, at least until they appeared to small it was hard to differentiate them from rocks or trees.   
Haylen insisted on returning alone on a separate vertibird, so Stella climbed into the other one with her dear husband.

She knew him so well now. And she could see in his face that he wanted to ask her what exactly she had said to the two prisoners. But Arthur knew better, so he held her hand on the ride back to the airport, and remained silent. Maybe he didn’t want to hear another lie come out of her mouth.


	21. Jessica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst n fluff n stuff 
> 
> big things happening
> 
> maxson is fucked up lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am totally aware that i did not update this in forever. i'm very sorry. i got sick, and i have a lot of work and yeah...
> 
> this story is coming to an end and maybe it makes me sad a little!! but i knew my endgame for this since way before i wrote the first chapter, so it's just right.
> 
> i dont know how many chapters i have yet to write. maybe 2 or 3, i'm not sure.
> 
> anyway, thanks to those who stuck around even though i just didn't update! i love you. <3

 

Arthur

 

 

 

Arthur jumped on his seat, startled. He looked around, and during the next few seconds, he realized he had fallen asleep in front of his terminal. The screen was still showing the report he had been reading before passing out. It was a long, boring report written by a Sergeant about field missions in the west.   
As much as Arthur cared about the whole Brotherhood of Steel—he was High Elder and he loved his army dearly—he was very preoccupied by _here_ and _now_. He knew he ought to get out of the Commonwealth, visit other chapters of the Brotherhood, give a good example to his soldiers.   
But, he couldn’t. And he felt guilty about it, but when he heard voices on the other side of the door, he became aware he had an even better reason to stay, now.

When he had been reading the reports last night, it was late, and Stella was in their bed, asleep. He always wanted to use another terminal to do his work, but she insisted he stayed with her in the room, even if sometimes the keyboard was loud in the silent room, even if the noises of him shifting his weight on the chair woke her up, even if a wall was slowly building itself between them.   
There were so, so many silences. And lies, and pretends.   
Because of the synths. And not just the synths as a concept, because of two synths specifically.

Arthur remembered very well how he and Stella had ended up together. He remembered first time they had ever met, back when she was only an Initiate, freshly out of a vault. With Danse by her side, she had seemed tiny, and fragile.   
But she was not.   
The voices were loud whispers. Arthur looked at the clock on his desk and found out it was four in the morning.   
On the other side of the door, people were discussing Elder Maxson’s ongoing labor in Cade’s clinic, down the airport.   
Arthur’s heart missed a beat. Elder Maxson was his wife. It was happening. Now.

He stood, but in his hurry he almost fell down when he pushed the chair. He looked around the room, as if he was searching for something, but decided he didn’t have time to take his coat, or anything else for that matter. He left it with Stella’s, and stormed out of their quarters.   
At this time in the morning, the ship was mostly empty, except for a handful of people who looked at him when he passed them. Teagan was among the group.   
“She’s fine, High Elder,” he said. “We’re getting cigars and drinks for celebration.”   
“Thank you, Proctor,” Arthur replied, but he didn’t stop. He jogged to the flight deck, climbed into a vertibird and piloted it himself to the airport. When he landed it, he ran to the clinic.

Paladin Brandis was standing in front of the clinic door. It was closed, but Arthur could hear voices—Cade and Stella, but another feminine voice he associated with Haylen.   
Brandis did not move.   
“Sir,” he said. “Cade asked me to keep the door closed and not to let anyone in, not even you.”   
Arthur closed his fists and groaned. “Absurd. I am the High Elder. For fuck’s sake—I am the father of this child.”   
“Sir.” Brandis didn’t look happy about this situation. “Lady Maxson wanted it. She gave the order to keep it secret.”   
That sounded like Stella, and it also sounded like Cade to keep Arthur out of the clinic, and it infuriated Arthur.

He had waited for this moment for so long. For years. As soon as he realized what it meant to be the _last Maxson_ , he had been hoping for an heir. He had not known how it would eventually happen, but little, young Arthur had just figured one of his officers would arrange a wedding with another Elder, or a high rank officer. It had never been about love, or even family. It had been about the Maxson name, the Maxson blood, and quite literally, breeding to secure the Brotherhood of Steel.   
He had not known at the time that it would be about love. About going out early in the morning to pick flowers for a girl who hated him. About giving her jars of honey so he could see her smile, see her lips glistening with the sweet nectar. About shouting at each other because she still hated him.   
Now, Arthur knew it was about the respect they had for one another. She was Stella Maxson now, and she was everything he had ever dreamed of.

He tried sitting on a nearby bench but Arthur soon found out he couldn’t stay in place. So he walked around the large room, sometimes exchanging a few words with Brandis, but mostly listening to everything that was happening on the other side of the door.

Then there was the cry. Loud, it left Arthur in awe. It felt like a wave, like he was standing in a warm ocean.   
Brandis had a large grin on his face, and he happily stepped away from the door, but it opened before Arthur even reached it. It was Haylen, who was smiling too—something he had not seen in a long time—and she was using a cloth to wipe blood off her hands.   
“Sir.” The medic’s voice was trembling almost as much as Arthur’s hands were. “Come and meet your daughter. She’s beautiful.”   
And so Arthur entered the clinic. Haylen led him to a room in the left hallway.   
The first thing Arthur was was the blood. There was so much of it. On Haylen’s hands, on Cade’s forearms and coat.   
On Stella’s legs, too.   
She was lying on a bed, and the white sheets were stained with red, too, and holding a small baby in her arms. Cade was helping her cleaning the baby’s face and body. She was pink, and her tiny fists were up in the air, and she was screaming.   
His daughter. What Haylen had said was true—she was beautiful. She was more than that.

He stepped forward, silently, slowly. He had never held a baby before in his life.   
Stella was comfortable. She seemed tired, and her hair was sticking to the sweat on her face, but she was stunning. As she always were.  
“Your wife did great,” Cade said with a joyful voice. “As she told me, it was not her first rodeo. I have no idea what that means.”   
The four of them laughed, but Haylen and Cade retreated to another room, leaving them alone.   
The baby was crying. His baby. He sat on the bed, but he had the strange impression that it was all a dream and that he could wake up any minute. That he could lose her.  
A voice in his head screamed: “STELLA LOST HER SON. BECAUSE OF YOU.” Arthur ignored the voice.

“I love you,” Stella whispered. He barely heard her over the baby’s cries.   
“I love you too.” It always felt strange to say those words, but he meant them.  
“I think we should name her Jessica.”  
When Arthur thought of his mother, he only remembered soft, brown hair, and an even softer voice. He had her eyes, apparently. Jessica Maxson had been a brave and kind woman, and it only felt right to give her name to their firstborn.   
Stella straightened up on the bed, wincing in pain. Then she handed him their baby.  
He did not want to hold her. Well, he did. But his arms seemed too big and too strong to hold such a small, fragile thing.  
It took Stella’s detailed explanation on how to hold a baby, but eventually Jessica found her way in his arms. She weighed nothing. Her skin was pink and soft, and now that she was all cleaned up, he could see she had his hair color. Her eyes were closed, and he could not wait until she would open them.   
He loved her.

“She’s going to be a warrior someday,” he said, because if he didn’t say anything he would cry and Arthur did not want to cry. “She will be High Elder. She’ll be feared.”  
Stella chuckled and gestured him to give her back. He did, with regret.  
“Help me undo this,” Stella then said, moving her shoulder. She was wearing a medical robe. Arthur leaned to unbutton it, a gesture he had done many times now, but that had a whole other meaning to it today. He kissed Stella, then he kissed Jessica’s forehead.   
Then Arthur sat as he watched his wife breastfeed their daughter. She didn’t seem to cooperate at first, but Stella assured him it was normal.

Cade came by at some point, to listen to Jessica and Stella’s hearts, and add a layer to Jessica’s blankets. He left again, and some time after that, Jessica held on to Stella’s breast, and she calmed down, and so the nursing began. It was beautiful. Arthur could not remember seeing something so beautiful in his entire life.

Eventually, Jessica seemed full and she fell asleep. Arthur held her while Haylen was helping Stella clean up and change clothes. They moved her to a more comfortable room, and she fell in a deep slumber. Arthur sat on a couch in the room, holder their treasured daughter.   
He thought about Shaun.

Only now could he begin to understand what Stella had been through. The birth of her child, the lost of her spouse and her son, and then… the reunion. With a person who she wished wasn’t her son.   
The gift of a second chance. The synth son.   
He was gone, now. Danse was gone. All that Stella had now was Jessica, and him.  
And Arthur did not deserve her.

A few hours later, when things were more calm around the airport, and Jessica was comfortably installed in the crib Ingram had built for her, Arthur showered, dressed up in his official clothing and summoned Haylen not to the command deck, but to the quarters he shared with Stella.

The newly-ranked Sergeant entered the room with uncertainty on her face, but she closed the door behind her and stood in front of him with her shoulders and back straight, and her chin up, as Haylen always did.   
“Sir?” she asked.   
“How much do you like the Commonwealth, Sergeant?” Arthur asked her.   
She thought about if for a few seconds. “I can see its potential. Why?”   
“Because I need you to leave.” Haylen’s eyes became big and round, but she did not interrupt. He appreciated it. It was hard enough as it was. “Today. Or tomorrow. Soon. I need you to leave for a rescue mission.”

Arthur looked away. He was tired and the few hours of sleep he had gotten, still sitting at his desk, did not suffice. However, he wouldn’t sleep. After this awful conversation, he would return to the clinic and take care of his family.

“A rescue mission, sir?”   
“There is a person—actually, two people—I need you to go find and bring back to the Commonwealth. Do you understand where I am going, Sergeant?”   
Haylen blinked. “I do.”   
“These two people are considered enemies of the Brotherhood, therefore I am overstepping my own order by asking you this. We will not speak their names. Understood?”   
“Yes, sir.”   
“I am sure you will find a pilot that you can trust. You go with this person and no one else. And you only come back once you found what you’re looking for.”   
“I will, sir.” Haylen was biting her lip. She looked like she wanted to cry.   
“When you come back of that successful assignment, you will notify the Elder. Not me, not anyone else. Elder Maxson. You will take her to the place where the two people can be found so they can be reunited. And you will be made Sentinel, I can promise you that.”   
Haylen nodded. Arthur dismissed her, and he sat on the edge of the bed.

His mother had been a gentle, nice woman. Stella was a kind person, but she was as strong as steel.   
And maybe he wanted his daughter to be more like them than like him.


	22. The beginning of forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fourteen months after Jessica's birth, a lot of things have changed, and continue to change for the Maxsons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for the time jump... there will be at least another one, and i know they're annoying but it would be super inconvenient not to do them. i hope it's not too much of a problem. <3

 

Fourteen months later

 

 

Stella

 

 

Stella had kept her name after marrying Nate, not because she didn’t want to take his, but because Nate had never been particularly proud of his last name. Actually, he had never been very fond of his father. Or rather, his father had never been very fond of Nate.   
Anyway, Nate had insisted she kept her name. And on Shaun’s official papers, his last name had been Austin-Curtis, and they typically just used Austin.

Stella still thought of herself as Stella Austin, but every day people reminded her she was somebody else now. She was Stella Maxson. Elder Maxson. Or, the worst, Lady Maxson.   
Because she came from before the war, Stella couldn’t grasp the whole concept of the Maxson bloodline, but seeing how they treated her daughter, she figured Arthur was a king and Jessica was a princess.   
Well, to be fair, she’d known for a long time that Arthur was a king. They still joked about that, sometimes.

The thing that annoyed Stella the most was, definitely, how people thought about what Jessica could be instead of what she was right now. She was a baby. She was barely over a year old and yet, every person that laid eyes on her saw her as their future commander.   
She was a _baby_.

Jessica’s first word, a few months earlier, had been “dada”, and as soon as Arthur had realized she was talking to him using a real word, he had taken her all around the Prydwen to show everyone how his daughter was talking now. Everyone, literally.   
Jessica loved her father, but Stella feared to see her grow up and understand who Arthur Maxson really was. A man difficult to love. Maybe Jessica would be like Nate, maybe she would be ashamed of her last name.

Jessica had her father’s soft, dark brown hair, and his lips, but she had her eyes. Shaun’s eyes. She laughed a lot, cried a lot too, and she loved everybody she met. Everything was different now. If Arthur was the king, it made Stella the queen, and she had to admit the crown was often heavy on her head.

Stella looked through the window. They lived in the airport now, because it was safer than the Prydwen, and because they wanted Jess to have a normal bedroom, and maybe a normal childhood, but that seemed almost impossible.   
They had quarters here, with a kitchen and a bathroom and everything, but it didn’t feel like home. Not really.   
There was a lot of action near the landing pads, so Stella stretched her neck to catch a better glimpse of what was happening. She could see that a vertibird had landed, but she wondered why it was getting such a warm welcome. As far as she knew, they weren’t expecting anyone today.   
“What’s that?” she asked, turning to the living room. Arthur was sitting on the couch, Jess in his arms. “Literally everyone is gathering around a single vertibird.”   
Arthur looked up. Jess was holding onto his index finger. It seemed huge in her tiny hand. She did that a lot.  
“I don’t know,” he said with a frown.   
“Ingram is probably around, but I’ll go take a look.”   
He nodded distractingly. He was always distracted around Jess. Stella grabbed her coat, the one that used to be his, and leaned over to kiss his jaw. He turned his head to kiss her lips, deeply and lovingly. She brushed her hand over Jessica’s curls, and went out in the crisp November wind.   
When she approached the vertibird, she received salutes from all around. She smiled, something to which Brotherhood soldiers were still not used to.

It was Haylen. She was back. She was busy being hugged very tightly by Teagan, but when she saw Stella, her face lit up.   
“Elder,” she said.   
“Haylen,” Stella replied. “We missed you. We all did.”   
Haylen’s eyes were watery and her hands were trembling.   
“I missed you, too.”   
“I’m sure you could use some food, and maybe a shower,” Stella offered. “Come, we have quarters in the airport now.”   
Haylen followed her in silence. Stella showed her around—there were a few new things to see, and many improvements—but Haylen wasn’t saying a word.   
She only spoke when they entered the Elder quarters.   
“Oh my god!” Haylen cried. “Jessica!”   
She hadn’t even acknowledged Arthur, who was, after all, the one holding Jessica. And the supreme leader of their organization. He stood, a stern look on his face. Almost like he wasn’t happy to see Haylen again. It took him a few seconds to manage a smile, but it left Stella wondering.

“She is so beautiful,” Haylen sighed, cocking her head to look at the baby.   
“She has the Maxson looks, or so I’ve been told,” Stella stated.   
“I guess she does,” Haylen admitted. Then, she looked at Arthur, and Arthur looked at Haylen, but they did not speak.   
Stella frowned.   
“Is everything okay?” she asked.   
“Y-yeah,” Arthur stuttered. “I think you ought to go with Haylen.”   
“But go where? She just came back.”   
“I have something to show you, and I think you should bring Jessica as well,” Haylen explained.

Stella was confused, and she thought for several minutes about what exactly would Haylen want to show her. Arthur was getting their little girl ready, but he did not look happy about it. It was obvious seeing his face that he’d much rather keeping her with him.   
They took another vertibird. Jess loved that. She loved flying, and she also strangely loved it when her father showed her different kinds of firearms.   
Stella asked Haylen a few questions about her long trip, but when she realized she wasn’t getting any real answers, she gave up. That’s about when she became conscious of where they were headed.   
It was the usual North-West route she’d flown so many times, but not since a long time. She could see Concord now—it looked the same as before.

“No.” Stella tightened her grip around Jessica. “I’m not going back. Why are you taking me there?”   
“Please. Stella. You have to trust me.”   
When they landed just before the bridge leading to Sanctuary, Stella almost gave the order to take off again and bring them back to the airport. But instead, she climbed down, and watched as the vertibird went to wait them a little further.   
It was a lovely afternoon, and Sanctuary, as always, was far less windy than the airport.   
Jessica looked around with big, round eyes. She hadn’t been out much, and she had never been here.

Preston welcomed her. He kissed Jessica’s forehead and talked with Haylen while they made their way to the center of Sanctuary, where everyone was gathering around a fire. It smelled like food. There were laughs, and people speaking loud. Many people Stella didn’t know.

And there was Shaun, too.   
Stella’s knees went limp, and Haylen took Jessica from her arms just in time before Stella crashed on the ground. She felt pain in her knees, and it seemed like air just couldn’t get to her lungs anymore.   
It was Shaun. He turned to her and smiled, a large grin. He looked older and more mature, and he was so _tall_. He ran to her, and she held him. She was crying.   
It was Shaun. He didn’t smell like the Institute anymore, he smelled like someone who had been outside for too long. His skin was coarse, and his hair was much longer, but it was him.   
“Mom,” he said weakly, his face in her neck. “I love you so much, mom.”   
“Shaun.” Stella couldn’t talk, so she cried.   
“I’m alright, mom,” Shaun assured. “We’ve been careful.”

Sanctuary had turned silent as Stella was reunited with her son. She couldn’t control her tears, but no one pressured her, not even Shaun. He remained at her side, her arms wrapped around him, but they didn’t speak. Not that there was nothing to say, but because there was too much to say.

“Is that my sister?” Shaun asked after a while. People were talking again, celebrating it seemed.   
Stella turned to Haylen, who gave Jessica back. Shaun looked at her.   
“That’s Jessica,” Stella said.   
“And her father is Arthur Maxson?”   
It felt strange to hear Arthur’s name in Shaun’s mouth. He probably knew everything about High Elder Maxson now, and his hatred for synths. She felt guilty.   
“Yes.” There was no point in denying the truth. “Arthur and I are still married. Jessica is a little over a year old.”   
Shaun nodded and he smiled. “She’s pretty,” he pointed out. “You look happy, mom.”   
“Now I can say that I’m happy. Because I got you back.” She kissed his cheek.

Stella’s eyes found Danse when Shaun leaned to say hi to Jessica. During the few minutes where she had been reunited with Shaun, she hadn’t been thinking about him at all, but there he was. Unshaven, with tangled hair, wearing dark, anonymous clothes. He was staring at them from a distance.   
She stood up and took a deep breath.   
“You should go see him, mom,” Shaun whispered.   
Danse was standing near the house that used to be hers and Nate’s, and he didn’t look happy.

So she went to see him. Jessica was falling asleep in her arms—it was time for her afternoon nap.   
Danse’s eyes were dark and sad, and terribly watery.   
“Danse,” she said, her voice trembling.   
“Stella.” There wasn’t much to say. He looked down to Jess, then closed his eyes.   
As he closed his eyes, his arms opened, and Stella soon found her way against Danse’s chest. He was warm and smelled like Shaun, like the outside. But a different kind of outside. Between them, Jess was sleeping.   
“I’m sorry,” Stella whispered. She was crying, and her tears were rolling on her face and falling on Jessica’s clothes. “Danse, I’m so sorry.”   
He put his hand in her hair, and held her as tight as he could without hurting the baby.   
“I know you are,” he replied. “But there’s nothing to be sorry about.”   
It was so good to hear his voice again. It brought memories back, good ones and bad ones.

He let her go after kissing the top of her head. Stella wiped the tears off her face and breathed deeply. He gently touched Jessica’s face, and she grabbed his finger in her small hand. Danse smiled, and his shoulders raised and lowered a few times, but she didn’t hear him chuckle.   
“She looks so much like him,” he said in a low voice. His smile had vanished.   
Stella nodded. She knew that. Everyone said so. “I know. But I want to raise her to be kind, not cruel.”   
“Oh, I know you can shelter her from Arthur’s moral code.” It looked like saying Arthur’s name had physically hurt Danse, but he went on. “I know you have it in you. I’ve heard you’ve been a good Elder, Austin. You should be proud.”   
She smiled. “I do my best. For Shaun, and Jess.” She paused, touching Danse’s face with her free hand. “For you. Are you going to stay, now? Was it Haylen who found you?”   
He put his hand on top of hers. “She brought us back. On Arthur’s orders. Didn’t you know?”

It would have felt the same if Danse had hit her in the stomach. She shifted Jess in her arms—she was getting heavy—and allowed herself a few seconds to think about that.   
“We’re still not allowed anywhere around the airport,” Danse added. “I thought… I thought you knew. I thought you made him do that.”   
“I didn’t.”   
“If that’s so, I don’t think you were supposed to know about it. I don’t know.”   
“I don’t care. I’m just glad you guys are back.”

She kissed his cheek, and together they joined the others. Shaun fell asleep early, exhausted by all the traveling they’d done in the past days, so Danse picked him up effortlessly and brought him to his bed. Stella remained by his side for a long time, watching him sleep, until Jessica grew restless. She figured she should head home, at least to bring Jessica back, but she knew she’d be back in Sanctuary tomorrow, and the day after.   
Now that they were back, nothing would stop her from spending time with Shaun and Danse.

It was dark when she said goodbye to Haylen in the airport. The two women hugged, not like colleagues but like friends, and Stella thanked Haylen for the millionth time.   
Their quarters were silent, but a few lamps were lit up. She heard noise coming from Arthur’s workshop, and she made her way there. He was cleaning a laser rifle.   
“Hey,” she said softly.   
He jumped—he hadn’t heard her. He didn’t smile, like he always did when he saw her or Jess, but he stood and embraced them both.   
She let him take Jess and he asked if she’d had dinner. She had—fruit and some mashed radstag. He locked himself in Jessica’s room with her, so Stella went for the bathroom.

She undressed and climbed in the shower. She stared at the shower head, thinking about how much she missed pre-war showers, and water that didn’t smell bad even though it had been filtered twice, and missed being a lawyer. And Nate.   
Stella washed her body with the soap Arthur had coming from the Citadel just for her—it smelled better than the Commonwealth recipes.   
Arthur must love her very much if he asked Haylen to go and get Danse and Shaun back from the other side of the country. Right?

Impatient to see him again, Stella stepped out of the shower and wrapped her body in a towel. She went for Jessica’s room, but the door was slightly open and Jess was asleep in her crib. There was noise in the workshop again, so she went there instead.   
Arthur was still working on that damn rifle. She stepped on the cold floor and took the weapon from his hands.   
He pulled her closer and they kissed for a long time.   
“I love you,” she said. “Arthur—I—”   
He shook his head and put his finger on her lips, then kissed her again.

He gently pulled on the towel and it fell on the floor. Stella stood, naked, vulnerable, and wanting. He was looking in her direction, but not seeing. She noticed a few wrinkles around his eyes, and she touched them softly. In response to that touch, he pulled her close again and kissed her, his beard coarse on her face, just the way she liked it.   
It had been a little while since they had been that intimate—not forever, but a couple weeks for sure—and it felt like electricity was running through Stella’s veins. There was a knot between her legs, and when Arthur’s hands moved on her body and found her ass, she moaned into his mouth.

She remembered the boy he used to be. It seemed like it was so long ago, but Jess was only one and they hadn’t been together that long before Stella got pregnant. Time was messed up.   
Sometimes, like right now, Stella remembered the boy she had insulted a couple times even though he was her commander. The boy who had stitched her wounds and saved her life. She remembered the boy who had brought her flowers and honey.   
That boy was a man now, and it mostly had to do with the baby that slept in her purple crib, two doors down the hallway.

Arthur lifted her up with ease, and Stella wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips. Doing so was just automatic by now. Doing that felt like going home after a long trip.   
He brought her into their bedroom and she carefully closed the door behind them before he slowly put her on the bed. Stella lied on the cold mattress, watching as her husband undressed in front of her. A wave of warmth and pleasure hit her when he undid his belt and pushed his pants and underwear down, freeing his hardening cock.

She was in love with an asshole. A cruel piece of shit. She hated him, but she was in love with him, and she was glad she hadn’t shot him in the head that one time.

Arthur knelt on the bed, positioning his body over hers, and they stared at each other for a few seconds. The only light in the room filtered through the red curtains from the airport, but she saw how concerned he looked. Concerned, focused, and handsome.  
He then brought his face to her neck and kissed her there, leaving gentle bites as he trailed down. He usually went for her breasts, but tonight he went for the large scar on her left side where a deathclaw had once crushed her ribs and slashed her skin open. She had almost died that day.   
It had taken a while, but now the scar was clean and mostly painless. It looked a lot like the one on Arthur’s cheek. He kissed it, all the way from top to bottom, his beard scraping her skin. She was still warm from the shower, but he felt feverish.

Stella put her hand in his hair while Arthur settled his face between her legs. He inhaled and kissed her inner thigh, but didn’t tease her any further—he licked her sex softly, working her until she moaned. When she did, he pushed two of his fingers in her hole—she was soaking by now—and his tongue found the pink bud he had been ignoring. When his mouth closed around Stella’s clit, she pushed down on his head, more involuntarily than willingly, and she buried her face in a pillow to muffle the long cry that came out of her mouth.

She let Arthur do his thing for a little while, but eventually Stella pulled on his hair to make him kiss her. She tasted herself in his mouth, sweet and bitter.   
It was awfully silent and Stella could hear her own heartbeat. She couldn’t stop thinking about what he had done—sacrificing several _months_ of one his best soldiers to retrieve two people he despised simply for who they were. He had done that so Stella would be happy. He had done it for her, and maybe a little for Jess, too.   
And it made Stella hungry for him.   
“Arthur,” she breathed. He was rubbing his cock on her thigh and sucking on her nipple. “We need to talk.”

He abruptly left her nipple to kiss her mouth, hard and unyielding.   
“We don’t talk about it,” he grunted, and in one thrust he buried himself inside her. “We never mention it,” he added, rolling his hips, fucking her without mercy.   
She didn’t insist. She couldn’t have done it anyway, because her mind had gone blank.   
The only thing that mattered was Arthur’s cock inside her, ramming her, hurting her just enough.

“Please, come inside me,” she begged.   
He grunted again, as Arthur Maxson did during sex, and grabbed her wet hair. It didn’t hurt. He never hurt her when he pulled her hair, it just felt good. It felt right. He kissed her neck again, sucking and biting and nothing else he did hurt, except the ache she felt when his cock hit her insides with strength. She would feel sore between the legs tomorrow morning. It would be good.

When Arthur slowed down to catch his breath, Stella wrapped her arms around him and pushed him so that they rolled on the side, until Arthur was lying on his back and she was on top of him. She guided his cock inside her again, and she lifted and lowered her hips slowly, feeling his girth and his length.   
His eyes were so intense, or at least she thought so—it was, after all, pretty dark. He put his hands on her hips and helped her thrusts, and every time she took all of him inside her, she moaned. And moaned. She loved riding him like that, because it made her feel like a queen.

When the waves of bliss started taking over her, Stella’s body stiffened. He cupped her breasts, pinching them but somehow not hurting her.   
“Come for me,” Arthur said. He didn’t talk a lot during sex, ever, but when he did, his voice was raw and deep, and it was enough to trigger her orgasm.   
She came riding him, her nails in his chest, her juices running all over his cock and thighs. Before the spasms and waves in her pussy even stopped, Arthur had her pinned against the mattress again, and was fucking her on the last seconds of her orgasm, as she was tight and dripping wet.   
He came almost immediately, spilling his seed deep, deep inside her. He breathed her name in her ear, sending an intense aftershock of pleasure where their bodies met.

Then it was over, and Stella was covered in sweat. She’d have to shower again—and Arthur too. Her pussy was sensitive and tender and warm. She closed her eyes as Arthur pulled out and lied next to her. She could feel his cum inside her, lukewarm and sticky.   
Stella found herself wishing she would become pregnant again.   
Arthur wrapped her in his big arms. Stella put her head on his chest and listened to his heavy breathing and his heartbeat.   
“Let’s have another baby,” she said. He froze, but after a couple seconds he relaxed. His softening cock was glistening with their juices, and if she hadn’t been so comfortably settled against him, she would’ve sucked it clean.   
“Are you sure?” he asked, playing with her hair.   
“I’m sure.” She knew what it meant for him—for the man who used to be the last Maxson. Who had an entire family tree on his shoulders.   
She heard him gulp loudly and inhale, but it took a while before he exhaled. She looked up, only to find him looking almost distressed. She put her hand on his face.   
“You’re an amazing mother, and wife, and woman,” he replied. “And, uh, I love you.”   
Stella smiled and closed her eyes, sleepy. “Love you too, Maxson.”   
She had never meant those words as much as she did in this moment.


	23. Stella's Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ten years later, things keep changing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the second to last chapter. only one left!

 

 

TEN YEARS LATER

 

 

 

Stella

 

 

Stella winced as she leaned to lift her bag from the floor. Her back was hurting again—just another unwelcome reminder that she wasn’t getting any younger.  
She looked into the bag to make sure that everything she needed was in there. She found purified water, a warm shirt for the evening and more clothes for the kids.  
That would do.  
She zipped the bag closed and brought it into the living room where Jessica was reading a manual book for some machine and her brother was playing with a toy car. Stella smiled at the sight of her children, and at the thought of seeing her other child in less than an hour.

“Mom,” Christopher said with a sigh. He looked like his sister. They were both smaller, younger versions of Arthur—at least physically. “Do you think Shaun can fix my car?”  
Stella looked down to see what the problem was. A wheel was missing from the yellow car, probably because Chris had decided it was a good idea to throw his toy around. He easily got bored, but didn’t have Jessica’s gift for reading, or even building things. So his toys often ended up being the victims of his boredom. Arthur kept saying it would get better the day he would have a rifle in his hands, but it didn’t comfort Stella in any way.  
“Of course he can fix it,” Stella replied. “Give it to me, I’ll put it in the bag.”  
Chris’ little hand rose in the air, holding the toy. Stella took it and delicately put it in her military bag.  
“I could fix it,” Jessica pointed out, her eyes not leaving her book. “But you just want _Shaun_ to do it.”  
Chris made a face, but Stella knew Jess was saying the truth. They both adored Shaun, and Stella could understand. He was, well, adorable.

“Shh,” Christopher shouted. “Dad’s coming!”  
It used to be a game. To stop mentioning Shaun’s or Danse’s name when Arthur was around. But then the kids grew up and they heard things around the airport, and it just clicked. Why they really, really, shouldn’t talk about their secret friends in front of dad, or in front of Kells, or in front of everybody except Proctors Ingram and Teagan, and Sentinel Haylen.  
Arthur pushed the front door open. It made that annoying noise Stella hated, and she made a face. She constantly forgot to oil the hinges.  
After Christopher’s birth, it had been an easy decision for Arthur: he was going to establish the Eastern chapter here, in the Commonwealth. While the Citadel was still manned and functioning, the Boston airport was his home now. Their home.  
When that had been settled, the Brotherhood had began to make a home out of the airport and everywhere around. The Maxsons lived a little outside the airport, but close enough that they were still in the action and never far if needed. Their house was comfortable and sturdy, and it felt like home to Stella.

“Hey everyone,” Arthur called from the front door. “I have something for you.”  
Chris ran to meet his father, and even Jessica left her book to follow him. When Stella reached the hallway, she saw her husband kneeling on the ground, embracing his children. Their respective heads rested on each of his shoulders. When he saw Stella, he smiled at her.  
Stella never got tired of seeing him smile, or laugh, or play with their children.  
“Did you do a lot of things today?” Arthur asked, getting up. There was a box on the floor. The box squealed, and Stella sighed.  
“What’s in that?” she asked. They had talked about this. Arthur had a guilty expression on his face, but already the kids were retrieving a puppy from the box. It was golden-brown and white and resembled a husky. It had bright blue eyes. She thought of Dogmeat. She often missed him.

“Dad!” Chris yelled. “HE’S SO CUTE!”  
“It’s a girl,” Arthur specified with a soft voice. “I think her name should be Honey, because your mother loves honey, doesn’t she?”  
Stella glared at Arthur. He had stabbed her in the back on this—they had agreed that they should wait until the kids were a little older before they got a pet—but this dog was very cute, and Stella often thought her children were a little bit too mature for their age.  
“Thanks, dad,” Jessica said as Honey tried to nuzzle her leg, but Chris picked her up. “Can we take her fishing?”  
Arthur noticed the bag she used for her trips to Sanctuary and his eyes went dark, but only for a few seconds.  
“Of course,” Stella said. “How about you show her the backyard while I talk to your father?”

The kids and Honey ran outside. Stella watched them by the window and jumped a little when Arthur’s arms wrapped around her body. He smelled of the Prydwen—steel and sweat. He kissed her spine, her neck.  
“It’s been a while since I had a honey jar,” Stella pointed out, a smile on her face.  
“You’re right. I’ve been neglecting you.” He turned her body so she would be facing him.

Arthur Maxson had grown more handsome each year of their marriage. And today, in the afternoon light, it hit Stella again. He was still young, but some wrinkles had accentuated with time. They told stories of war as well as laughs.  
He kissed her. Softly. Deeply.  
“Are you coming back for the night?” he asked, his lips still against hers.  
“Yes,” she replied. She didn’t like spending the night out. She missed him.  
“Maybe I can make up for the lack of honey later, then,” he whispered, and she laughed.  
He let her go.  
It had been ten years. Ten years and he still hated it when she headed to Sanctuary. He respected it, but he hated it.  
Not a single time in ten years had he pronounced Danse’s name, or Shaun’s. He didn’t ask questions either. There was a silent agreement between them, and the kids, to just let it go.

“Sorry about the dog,” he added when she grabbed her bag. “We were around Cambridge today, and this woman had these puppies and—well, this one was irresistible.”  
“She is,” Stella admitted with a smile. “It’s alright, but you’ll have to make up for this tonight as well.”  
He laughed and kissed her again, more deeply this time. The bag slid from her shoulder and he caught it without breaking the kiss. They were backing off and soon Stella’s ass hit the counter.  
“Not now,” she breathed. “Tonight.”  
“I can’t resist you,” Arthur argued, but he didn’t insist. “You should go now, or else you’ll be back too late tonight.”  
She put her hand in his face to make him shut up. She called the kids back in so they said goodbye to their father, kissed Arthur, and they left for the airport.

Chris stopped for a few seconds, just long enough so he could say hi to Liberty Prime before boarding the vertibird. The robot came to a stop and with its computerized voice said: “Hello, Christopher.” Ingram had done that as Christopher’s birthday gift one year. He had been so happy he cried.  
Arthur had cried too that night, but he hadn’t been able to tell Stella why. That was fine—maybe she would know someday.

After ten years in the Brotherhood, Stella had learned how to fly a vertibird herself, and she had to say she was quite proud of her flight skills. It had taken years but Arthur had admitted she was better than him.  
She flew them to Sanctuary and Honey barked the whole time, but she seemed more excited than afraid.

The second they were in Sanctuary, the kids ran with Honey towards Shaun’s house. Shaun greeted them, and waved at her in the distance. She waved back, her heart warm from seeing her three children together.

Shaun was twenty-two years old now, and he was taller than most people she knew. His dark golden hair needed to be cut a little shorter, but she knew he wouldn’t let scissors anywhere near him. She watched him pick up Honey from the ground and listen to whatever Jessica and Christopher were telling him. Stella made a mental note not to forget Chris’ toy car in her bag—there was no doubt Shaun would be able to fix its wheel. And maybe make it talk or shoot a laser beam. He had never stopped improving his skills, after all.  
“You’re late, Austin.”  
Stella’s grin only grew wider when she turned to face Danse. It had been too long since they’d seen each other—on her last visit, he had been gone helping Preston with Minutemen duties.  
“Shut up, Danse,” she replied, still smiling. “We were delayed.”  
He raised an eyebrow. He was wearing his usual fishing clothes—a black shirt with comfortable dark green pants—and his hair needed a haircut just as much as Shaun’s did. Maybe even more. She couldn’t help but to notice the light greying in Danse’s thick black hair. It was barely visible, but it was there.  
“Please tell me he didn’t try convincing you not to come,” Danse sighed.  
“No, but he got the kids a cute little puppy and named her Honey.” She raised her chin in their direction. Danse chuckled.  
“Well, I see.” He hugged her and took her bag from her. “Let’s get going. There’s fish waiting for us.”

It was some kind of tradition. They went fishing, Stella and Danse and Shaun and Jess and Chris when he was old enough. Sometimes they didn’t fish at all, they just sat by the lake and played games or went for a swim.  
She walked with Shaun on the way to the lake. He told her about a project he had—a more efficient water purifier. He said he would give Ingram the blueprint for it and she would be free to use it if she wanted to. Stella had to admit that with the growing number of people on the airport, better water quality would be welcome.  
Shaun never, ever hesitated to help her, or Ingram, or anyone with Brotherhood business, no matter what they had done to him and Danse, and how they regarded them. His heart was pure and soft, and Stella couldn’t be more proud of him.

They settled near the lake when they arrived, and immediately Jess and Chris went for the water with their fishing rods. It seemed that Chris was explaining Honey how to fish. Shaun joined them, but Stella and Danse stayed a little behind, sitting in the grass.  
“I know why Arthur gave them the dog,” Stella said after a while. “He’s jealous.”  
Danse looked at her from the corner of his eyes. “Yeah. And did you know that the sky is blue? Or that fish lived in the water?”  
She pushed him, gently but a little annoyed. Shaun was watching the kids while fixing the wheel on Chris’ toy car. Honey was with him, watching each and every one of his moves.  
“I think you’re the most patient person ever, Stella,” Danse added. “To be spending so much time with him, and raising his children. And look at them—they’re not like him. They’re like you.”  
“Yeah. And that’s exactly why he’s jealous, even though he’ll never admit it.”  
Danse nodded to that. He knew she was right.

 

 

 

Arthur

_This is wrong_ , he thought. He had left the vertibird a mile away with a trusted Knight to guard it, and now he was making his way to Stella’s lake. He always thought of it as Stella’s lake in his mind, even though it probably had another name.  
Anyway, last year they had designed detailed maps of the Commonwealth to send to other chapters for when they would visit, and he had personally written “Stella’s lake” as the name of this area. She didn’t even know about it. She did know he was aware of where exactly they were going when they went “fishing” or “hiking” or “on a trip”, but they never talked about it.

 _This is wrong_ , he thought again as he muttered the words through his teeth. But he went on anyway, making his way through the thick bushes and trees as silently as possible.  
He soon caught a glimpse of the shimmering water and stopped. He lied on his stomach and breathed deeply.  
He was doing this. In all these years, it was the first time he came to spy on Stella. He had never done it, never wanted to do it, didn’t care for it. But he couldn’t ignore the strange feeling that filled him when she left now—a mix of misery, anguish and, well, guilt.  
Sometimes he wondered how it had come to happen, all of that, and couldn’t quite remember.  
Things had changed. And the man he was now didn’t understand he used to be.

He crawled under a bush and found a comfortable spot from which he wouldn’t be seen. Arthur searched in his pocket the small device stolen from Ingram’s workshop—something that amplified sounds. He plugged the headphones into it, and listened.  
He heard Honey first, and the kids. They were talking about what they wanted for dinner tonight. Stella’s voice added they would eat fried fish if they caught enough, and a masculine voice pointed out it was a good idea. Arthur didn’t know that voice and he assumed it must be Shaun’s.

Curiosity won over him and Arthur dared a look from behind his bush. There they were, on the lakeshore, Jess and Chris fishing and three adults sitting on the ground. The one closest to the water was Shaun, there was no doubt about that now—he had Stella’s hair exactly. He stood up, holding tools and other things in his hands, and Arthur was surprised to see how tall he was. He didn’t think synths could… grow up like that. But he sure did look grown up.

A few feet away he saw Stella and Danse. They were sitting close to one another, and weren’t smiling like the others were. While Arthur adjusted his device so it would catch their conversation as well and not the ambient noise, Stella buried her face between her knees and Danse put his arm around her.  
It was strange to see Danse. Arthur suppressed the anger he felt from seeing him touching his wife. It was just. Strange. Arthur wondered why he was here and what he was doing exactly. Spying on his wife and children, and spying on the two men he had banished so long ago.

“I’m just so tired, Danse,” he heard Stella say in his headphones. Her voice was muffled but he could make out the words. “I’m living two lives. Fuck, more than that. Sometimes I have to be Elder, sometimes a wife, sometimes a mom, and while I do that I have to pretend that _this_ life, _this_ lake, you and Shaun, it doesn’t exist at all.”  
“Stella…” Danse’s voice was low. Arthur watched as he kissed Stella’s hair. “Maybe you should take some time off. From the Brotherhood, I mean. Haylen and Arthur will be able to handle things, I have no doubt about that. Stay home. Relax.”  
“You know damn well it’s not going to change anything.”  
Arthur swallowed hard and turned the device off. He didn’t want to hear anymore. So instead, he watched.  
For the following hour or so, everyone took turns to fish and after a while they separated the loot and left on foot. Arthur waited until he saw Stella’s vertibird flying in the distance before coming out of his hiding place.

He went to sit by the lake, almost exactly where Stella and the others had been just a few moments ago.  
Arthur Maxson watched the waves and contemplated everything. In the past years they had gathered a lot of intel about synths, and the way their bodies worked. It seemed their bodies worked the same a human’s body did, but the real mystery was their mind. With the Institute destroyed, it was impossible to find out how much of their consciousness was real, and what was implanted and fabricated. Arthur wondered if synths had souls. He wondered if humans had souls.  
If they did, Arthur’s soul must be dark and cold. He closed his eyes as the sun went down behind him, sending beautiful pink light on the lake. Stella had been like a sunrise, bringing light and warmth in his life. Jess and Chris were two other suns, and Arthur wondered if all that light was enough to clear the shadows in his soul.

He came home late that night. Honey welcomed him and he picked her up to silence her. She nuzzled his face and Arthur brought her to the bed the kids had apparently made for her: two pillows and twice as many blankets on the couch. Arthur had no doubt they would build a small house for her as soon as tomorrow.  
There was light upstairs coming from the master bedroom. He climbed the stairs and they creaked under his weight. He looked into Jessica’s room, then Chris’—they were both deeply asleep.

Stella was reading, a thin blanket covering her lightly dressed body. She looked up when he entered the room.  
“How did it go?” she asked. He had ordered Kells to tell Stella he was going on a last minute recon mission. “Did you find whatever it was you were looking for?”  
He shook his head from left to right.  
He had put this woman through more pain than most people in the world and yet, there she was, in their bed, smiling at him. He could make out the curves of her breasts under the sheets—his cock twitched slightly in his pants.  
It was kind of a lie, because he _had_ found what he was looking for.

He quickly undressed and joined her on the bed. She had put her attention back on the book she was holding, but when his hand found her inner thigh, she let it fall on the floor.  
His lips crashed on hers and he didn’t wait to push three fingers inside her. She whimpered, biting his lip, and their tongues found each other.  
He didn’t want to wait. He turned her on her other side and looked at her back for a few seconds. It was scarred and flawed by so many years of service, like all of Stella’s body, but she was the most beautiful woman in the world.  
He spread her legs open and guided his cock inside her. She was a wet but only a little—he had to give three thrusts before he reached her deepest point.  
He couldn’t wait. Normally he would have moved around to ease his movements. Not tonight.

His hips met her lower back and he fucked her. She kept saying his name, like a prayer, but not holy. It didn’t take very long for her pussy to ooze with juices, making his thrusts smoother and quicker. He was holding her against him, her one of her breasts in his hand, the other hand stabilizing the both of them.  
It felt as if there was no time to spare. He positioned Stella so she lied on her stomach, pinned her to the mattress and fucked her deep.  
For a short while, the only thing that could be heard was the squeaking of the bed, Arthur’s ragged breath and the wet noise his cock produced when it came in and out of her core. It was good. She was tight and warm.  
When he came, she moaned with him. He allowed himself a few seconds to recover, then she rolled on her back. He slowly pulled out of her, and Stella kissed him. She was impatient to come too, he could feel it.

He kissed her stomach and her thighs, and spread her legs once again. His seed was dripping out of her, a sight he had never gotten tired of. He fingered her gently, and she caught his wrist to lick his fingers. He kissed her then, briefly, only to taste himself, then went back to her pussy. He fingered her again, using one hand to push his fingers inside her and the other to play with her clit. It took no time before her walls clamped around his hand, her hips following his fingers. She licked his fingers again, and he kissed her again.

Later that night, Arthur slipped out of bed while Stella was sleeping. She had been close to him, her legs around his, her hand in a fist resting on his chest. It was a comfortable position—he always loved it when she was close to him, but especially after sex.  
He fumbled around to find his clothes on the floor and managed to put them on in the dark.  
In the silence of the night, he could hear Liberty Prime’s heavy footsteps as it walked around the airport. How proud had he been to see it operating again.

But he didn’t want to think about that anymore. About nuking the Institute. In that, he did not find any pride at all. He used to, very strongly, but the more he thought about it the less rational it seemed.  
He opened Christopher’s door. He slept with a toy car in his hand. His miniature Liberty Prime replica—made by Jess and Ingram for his last birthday—stood on his desk, its eyes lighting up the room with a soft, red light. He had been named after Stella’s father, but Arthur saw himself in his son. And sometimes, that hurt. Like when Chris was so angry, or sad, or excited, that he stuttered a little. Like when Chris said Liberty was his best friend.  
That fucked him up.

He moved on to Jessica’s room, and sighed when he saw she wasn’t asleep. She was reading some manual book, a flashlight in her hand.  
“What are you doing? How long have you been awake?” He was just hoping she hadn’t heard the rather intense action he had earlier with Stella.  
“Not for long,” she replied, and Jess never lied except for when she talked about the fishing trips. “Sorry, dad.”  
“It’s okay.” He invited himself into the room and sat on the edge of her bed. “How was today?”  
Jess put the book down. “We caught some fish. Honey was really happy to be outside. Mom says she can’t sleep with either of us because we’ll fight.”  
“She’s probably right. How about I help you guys building a house for her?”  
“Really?” She left her blankets and found her way in his arms. He kissed her head.  
“Thanks, dad. And thanks for the dog, too. I love her. Mom said she used to have a dog?”  
Arthur smiled, remembering Dogmeat. “Yes, she did. He was very unique. But he made everyone happy. He loved steak.”  
There was a long silence after that.

Arthur looked around. Jessica’s room was tidy, except for the many little devices and books that she couldn’t fit in her drawers and had to stay on the floor or on her desk.  
He noticed one he hadn’t seen before. It looked like a radio transmitter.  
“What’s that?” he asked, showing her the small device.  
“Oh, it’s, uh, it’s a radio. I’m tired dad. Goodnight.” She lied again and turned his back to him.  
He hated it when she lied, because she had to and it was his fault. He reached for the radio, picked it up and looked at it.  
“Jess. Tell me about it.”  
“It’s just a radio, dad. It doesn’t even work.”  
Arthur pushed the on button and the thing lighted up. He pushed a few more buttons and heard white noise through the speaker. Jess faced him and took it from his hands and turned it off as a masculine voice was saying “Jess?”.  
“Who was that?” Arthur asked calmly. He already knew. “You can tell me. I won’t tell your mother.”  
Jess looked down. “You’ll kill him. I know you want to kill him. Dad. You want to kill my brother and my friend.”  
Air slowly escaped his lungs until it felt like it had been replaced with ice. What a blunt statement coming from an eleven years old girl.

“It’s a long distance radio Shaun made for me. He has the other one. He told me to leave it on when you weren’t home, so we could call each other. Don’t tell mom I said that.” She had tears in her eyes. When she cried, she looked like Stella more than like him.  
He held her until she slept. Then he went downstairs, picked Honey up and brought her to Jessica’s bed. The puppy went straight for Jess and lied down with her.  
Someday Jessica would be High Elder, and maybe she would have to make a hard decision like he did with the Institute. He could only hope she would be soft enough, and not be like him. He could only hope none of his children would ever make the same mistake he did. He had robbed over ten years from Stella’s life.  
Hell, from his own life too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to you guys who are reading this. <3 it's amazing and i can't wait to share the last chapter with you. :)


	24. Only a little

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT...  
> THE END.... DAMN...

 

 

Stella

 

 

 

That morning, Stella woke up late. She knew it was late because of how much light there was in the room, and because Arthur wasn’t there.  
She closed her eyes again, appreciating the warmth and comfort of the bed. There was some noise downstairs, but nothing worth worrying. She would allow herself a few minutes up here, alone, relaxing. A mother deserved that.

She felt sore between the legs, but it was a good feeling. She breathed in and pushed the covers off her body. When she opened her eyes a few minutes later, she found a bruise that wasn’t there last night. It was blue but the pain barely bothered her.  
There was no doubt it came from Arthur’s urgent lovemaking. Sometimes, when something troubled him, he needed to take her. To be fair, that also happened to Stella once in a while. It didn’t matter. The bruises didn’t matter, no more than the mild aching between her legs. She liked it.

Stella wrapped herself in one of Arthur’s large shirts and came out of their room. “Chris? Jess?” she called from upstairs.  
“Mom, we’re making you breakfast,” Jessica replied. “It’ll be ready in like, five minutes okay? You weren’t supposed to wake up!”  
Stella chuckled. “Alright, I’ll have a quick shower and run back into bed!”  
She didn’t waste time in the shower like she usually did—she tied her hair in a bun and washed the sweat and intimacy from last night off the skin. She quickly towelled herself dry and ran back to her room where she put on her own clothes, and sat on the bed.  
“Are you in your bed mom?” Chris asked from downstairs. “Don’t lie!”  
“I am, and I’m starving!”

She waited only a short moment before they appeared in the doorframe. Jess was holding a tray with plates and food on it, and Chris held Honey in his tiny arms. He let go of the puppy on the bed, and they all sat down.  
There was razorgrain bread with mutfruit jam, with some leftover steak and hubflower tea. She kissed both Jess and Chris, and Honey too, and she ate.  
“You guys already ate?” she asked. She glanced at her nightstand where she left her pip-boy. She only wore it when she went out now. It was past ten.  
“Yeah, we were hungry mom, you’re lazy,” Chris said, but he was smiling. “Dad took us out and he left something for you.”  
Stella raised an eyebrow and Chris ran downstairs to go get whatever Arthur had decided to give her. It could be anything. A pistol. A Supermutant head. Anything.

“Where’s your father?” Stella asked Jessica in the meantime.  
Jessica looked down, which was never a good sign because Jessica was usually fearless and bold, and never lowered her gaze. “He left for work,” she said, but Stella knew that wasn’t true.  
“Did he tell you that, or did he tell you to tell me that?”  
“He told me that, but I don’t think that’s true,” Jessica replied truthfully.  
Stella always felt a little disappointed when Arthur left without telling her exactly where he was going. In over ten years of marriage, the worst fight they had ever had was because he’d left for the Citadel without telling her, without saying goodbye. He had admitted it wasn’t nice, but it had been an emergency. They had still not talked to each other for two weeks.  
Stella hated not saying goodbye, even for the smallest trips.  
She had never said goodbye to Nate.  
She glanced at her left hand, where she still wore her old wedding ring. She would give it to Shaun. Yeah.  
Shaun always asked about Nate and referred him as “dad”.

Chris came back at this exact moment. He was holding a large amount of flowers and he put them in Stella’s hand.  
“Wow,” she said, speechless. Arthur always gave her flowers when he felt guilty about something. Was he feeling guilty because of last night? She’d told him several times she did like it rough in bed—it wasn’t worth flowers.  
“There’s that too, mom,” Chris added. It was a small piece of paper.

 _Good morning, Stella. I have some more recon to do today and I didn’t want to wake you up._  
_You look beautiful when you sleep, even if you drool sometimes. On me._  
We saw those flowers and I know they’re not a honey jar but it’s all I have for now.  
I love you. Arthur

Stella read the message three times before folding it and leaving it on her nightstand.  
“What does it say?” Chris asked.  
“You can’t ask that!” Jessica replied, shocked.  
Stella laughed. “It says that I drool on him when I sleep.”  
“Ewww,” the kids said together, and they all laughed.

She wanted to go back to the lake. She preferred to go there when Arthur wasn’t home or at the airport—for some reason, it felt more right.  
When she proposed that idea to the kids, both were delighted.  
It didn’t take very long for them to be ready, and not much longer to reach Sanctuary.  
The sky was clear and the weather was excessively comfortable. Stella was glad they were here.

“I wasn’t expecting you today,” Danse said when she entered his house without knocking.  
“I’m in a good mood. I figured the best place to spend this nice day was here, with you guys. Where’s Shaun?”  
“Probably around. I saw him just a moment ago.”  
Stella looked through the window and saw Preston playing with the kids, and Shaun watching. She smiled.  
“Let’s not fish today,” she declared. “I need to tan a little.”  
“You do.” Danse lifted her arm and looked at it. “You really do. Let’s go.”

With Honey following them and barking at anything that moved, the five of them began hiking their way to the lake.  
Stella let Danse and the kids go forth and stayed with Shaun a few feet behind.  
“Everything okay, mom?” he asked. He put his arm around her shoulder. He was so tall. Her relationship with her first son was unusual because, well, to her it was as if he had been a baby and then a ten year old child. There wasn’t a large age difference between them, and they were very friendly, something she did like.  
“Yes Shaun, everything is fine.” She removed her wedding ring—the one Nate had given her—and put it in Shaun’s hand. He looked at it and stopped walking, so she stopped too. Jess and Chris would be safe with Danse anyway. “I want you to have this,” she added.  
“But… It’s from dad,” he pointed out, as if she didn’t know already.  
“Yeah, it is from dad.” She pushed his fingers until his hand formed a fist around the ring. “You keep it from now on. But, Shaun, I don’t want you to think I’m letting it go because I don’t care about your father anymore.” She paused there, remembering Nate’s soft hair and his silly laugh. “I’m giving it to you because I buried Nate with his—it felt right to do so. But I wanted you to have something that was from him. From… before the war.”

Shaun nodded. He tried to put the ring on, but his fingers were a little too big for it, so instead he hung it with the other pendants of his necklace. His necklace was more pendants and necklace, and included Danse’s holotags, pearls made of wood, crafts Jess and Chris had made, and now Stella’s wedding ring.  
“Thanks, mom.” Shaun held her against him. He was so tall now. He was a man. And she was proud of him.

Shaun was strangely silent as they made their way through the trees, Honey’s barks guiding them in the distance.  
Stella gave him some intimacy. It hadn’t been easy for her but it wasn’t for him either—after all, Shaun was well aware that he was a synth, that she wasn’t his biological mother and that Nate wasn’t his biological father. He considered them his parents anyway, but he had never _known_ his father. And that was hard on him. Stella knew it.  
At least he had Danse.  
From the moment they had to flee the Commonwealth, Danse had been like a father to him. Shaun didn’t need to call him ‘dad’. It was more than that. Deeper than that.

Danse was more like Shaun than Stella could ever be. He understood how he felt, how he didn’t feel, and they had been through very similar experiences. Danse was the crutch Shaun needed to grow up in this world, the same way Shaun was the pillar Danse needed not to break in pieces.  
Stella had been jealous. Sometimes. She couldn’t help it. After all, Shaun was her son, but when she saw how Danse and him didn’t even need to talk to understand each other—it hurt a little. She would never have that connection with Shaun. She wasn’t sure she’d ever have that kind of connection with Christopher or Jessica.  
“Do you still love him?” Shaun asked. His voice surprised her. She had been deep in her thoughts.  
“Love who? Your father? Yes. Of course. I’ll never forget him.”  
“Do you love Maxson more?”

She swallowed.  
“Shaun—” she started, but her throat was too tight to speak. She didn’t feel good.  
“Sorry,” he said with a sigh. I shouldn’t—I shouldn’t ask that. It’s not fair.”  
The lake was in sight now. Both Jess and Chris were already in the water, and Danse was pulling chairs around to form a semicircle facing the lake. There was a nice wind blowing in her hair, messing it up. It was messing up Shaun’s too, but he only looked better that way, if anything.  
“I still hate him.” Stella came to a stop, staring at her beautiful children. “I still hate him, Shaun. For what he did to Danse, and to you. But I love him as well, and he loves me, and we’re a family.”  
“It’s okay, mom. Come on. Let’s go.”

Stella sat on one of the chairs, right between Danse and Shaun. Honey was swimming with the kids. She wasn’t mad about the dog anymore. The puppy was cute, and it made her children happy.  
“I gave Shaun my wedding ring,” Stella said for Danse. “It’s on his necklace.”  
Danse smiled and squeezed her hand in his.  
“This thing is getting heavy,” Shaun admitted, showing his necklace.  
“You could divide the pendants and make a bracelet with the extras,” Stella suggested.  
Shaun seemed satisfied with that proposition.

It was a very normal day, early in the afternoon, and Jessica and Chris were playing with Honey in the lake—teaching her to play fetch—and she was helping Shaun and Danse to decide what should stay in the necklace and what should be transferred to a bracelet.  
Everything was normal, and joyful, so that’s why it seemed like a dream—a nightmare—when Christopher let go of the ball he was holding, and she heard his little frightened voice.

“Dad?” Christopher whimpered.  
Stella dropped the glass bottle she was holding. It cracked against the rock it fell on.  
Before she even looked up, Shaun had unsheathed his faithful pistol and was pointing it to their left, where Jess and Chris were looking too. So, Stella looked over there as well, even though she did not want to.

Arthur was standing between two trees. He was right there. Seeing Shaun, seeing Danse, and seeing his children and wife with his enemies.  
He did not wear his usual armor, or his High Elder coat. Instead, he was wearing a casual pair of pants with a button shirt. It made him look younger. She hadn’t seen him in such outfit in a while.  
He raised his hands at shoulder-length, slowly.  
“I’m not armed,” he said. Arthur was talking to Shaun, who was still pointing a gun at him, and ready to shoot. “I understand that you want to hurt me but—not in front of the kids. Please.”

It was a bad dream. A nightmare. It had to be, right?  
But as Shaun lowered his pistol, Arthur made his way closer to them. Christopher and Jessica stared at him, but ultimately approached him and he embraced them, kissing their heads as he always did. That looked real enough.  
Stella stood and walked past Danse and Shaun to meet her husband. He did look younger, and somehow more serene, even though he just had a gun pointed at him.  
He held her against him and kissed her, just a short kiss, but warm and soft.  
That was very real too. So she wasn’t dreaming at all.

Arthur kissed her cheek before making his way to Danse and Shaun, who were both standing. They stood not like they were waiting for Arthur, but as if they were ready to run away and vanish if they ever had to. Which was just the way they had been obligated to live for so long, now.  
Arthur shook Shaun’s hand, respectfully and nicely. Stella watched the scene as Jess and Chris both grabbed one of her hands.

“Hi, Shaun,” Arthur said. “I’m, uh, I’m Arthur Maxson.” Arthur couldn’t help a smile.  
“You look like your mother. And you are shockingly tall.”  
Shaun looked right into Stella’s eyes.  
“Hi,” he managed.  
Stella had been hoping for this moment to happen since… since forever, it seemed. From the moment Danse had been declared an enemy of the Brotherhood, she had wished for this very thing to happen.

Shaun stepped back respectfully as Danse and Arthur started at each other. They had changed a lot—physically and mentally. It was likely that neither of them thought they would ever see the other again, at least not without a fight.  
“Arthur.” Danse seemed deeply troubled.  
There was a pause. A long pause. “Danse.”  
Danse offered his hand for Arthur to shake it, but instead Arthur pulled Danse in a tight embrace. It did not last long, but when they let go, they were both changed men.

“I’m sorry,” Arthur offered. Stella knew how difficult it was for him to apologize—even for the smallest thing. Danse knew that as well, because he nodded. It took a few seconds, but Shaun nodded too.  
“Does that mean dad won’t kill them now?” Chris asked Stella.  
“I won’t kill your friends, buddy,” Arthur replied for her. “They’re safe. I promise.”  
Maybe someday he would talk to Danse and Shaun about his mistakes, admit them in more detail, but not right now.

What they did after that was just as meaningful—Arthur sat with Danse in the sand and they played with Christopher while Jessica sat nearby and helped Shaun tuning another long distance radio he had been working on for Danse to carry. Honey walked among them, sniffing hands, licking cheeks.

And Stella watched. Stella watched as all her favorite people sat together in the afternoon light, thinking about nothing but how peaceful she was. And what it meant.  
Shaun and Danse were free. If they wanted to go to Diamond City, they wouldn’t need to wear a disguise—they’d just go.  
They had won their identity back. Their lives back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Many, many years later, when Jessica was Elder because her mother had decided to have an early retirement and her brother was Sentinel, Stella was watching the sunset from the Prydwen’s flight deck. From up here she could see the whole town they had built around the airport. She could see the kingdom her children ruled over.  
Her other son, Shaun, was now in charge of Sanctuary—the safest settlement in the whole Commonwealth.  
She could not have been more proud.

The door to the command deck opened and Paladin Danse appeared with Arthur.  
The two men spoke in the door frame for a while, then Danse waved at Stella and happily closed the door behind him. Stella had missed Paladin Danse. The Brotherhood of Steel had missed Paladin Danse.

The High Elder walked up to her in his worn out leather boots, his old coat flapping in the wind. He was smiling by the time he reached her, and Stella stretched her neck to kiss his smile.  
There was some gray in his beard now, and a lot more in his hair, but he was still handsome.  
“Star Paladin Austin,” he said. “Your last report was, I must say, excessively well written. It seemed you, Proctor Ingram and Paladin Haylen had a successful mission on Spectacle Island, where you, if I recall correctly, sat on your lazy asses and sun bathed for an entire day.”  
Stella smirked. “Exactly, High Elder. I am honored that you approve of this very important mission.”

Arthur shook his head, falsely disappointed, but kissed her deeply. When their lips parted, he stared at her. His eyes were tired. His eyes were content.  
“Stella,” he started very seriously. “Do you still hate me?”  
She put her hand on his face and brushed his deathclaw scar with her thumb, trailing down to caress his coarse lips.

“Only a little,” she replied, and she kissed him again.

 

 

 

THE END 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to say a huge, huge thank you to literally any person who has read this.
> 
> I know not everyone leaves comments, or kudos, but while they're appreciated, it doesn't really matter. I made a lot of friends because I started writing this, and while it's not a literary masterpiece, I gained a lot of confidence. And it was just so much fun.
> 
> I'm really emotional today because I've grown really attached to my characters. I don't really want this to end, but I guess it has to. (I'm legit crying as I'm typing this.)
> 
> Anyway. Thank you. So much. To all of you. <3  
> I have other ideas in mind so... I guess it's not really the end. :)


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